Sunday, September 30, 2007 ❤
30th of September... Yay... Feelin quite great on 29th of September... Mmm... Worked at Bukit Panjang and also Jurong Point... Never take bus 180 to Jurong Point for work... Because the waitin time for bus 180 is quite long but I know the travellin time is short... So I decided to take LRT and MRT... Although it is quite long, at least can take a break... Before I got broke down... Because I am not a robot... Thought I was late when I goin to Jurong Point... Lucky never late but almost late... Hee heezz...
Good new that I am goin to have a new friend soon... He works at the Polar Kitchen wan... He called to Lot 1 that he is comin down to Lot 1 to meet me as to make friend with me... Hee heezz... Quite cool... Actually, first met him was the time during the company dinner... Both of us were on the stage to play a game... I also dunno how old is him... Anyway, it is good to make another new friend...
Mmm... Tomorrow goin to be a most TIRIN day... Because I will be workin the WHOLE day... More than 12 hours man... Workin at Jurong Point will be 9am to 3pm then Lot 1 will be 4pm to 10.35pm like that... Then the next day that is Monday need to go back to school to study... Sianz lor... Cannot sleep well like that... Sure gonna fall asleep during school time... Confirm wan... This time I wan to be GUAI... Dun wan to pon for this faci lesson... He is quite a good faci... Hope tomorrow that everything will be fine... Good night now... BYEBYE...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:14 AM
Friday, September 28, 2007 ❤
28th of September... Ooo... Goin to December in a number of months... Haha... Cannot wait for Christmas to come... Dunno who will be celebratin with me... Mmm... Today got come school... Today is Enterprise... Sianz lor... Haiz... Hate the way of this Faci gradin..
Mmm... Yesterday evening went to YouTube to watch movie... So watched the SHUTTER... Heard many people said that the movie was the most scary... But I dun find it scary at all... Some parts of the movie is damn borin... Hahazz... Dunno why people find that SHUTTER is scary...
Now I still findin some latest movie to watch... If anyone wan to recommend some movies to me.., Can jus leave the movie name to me at my tagboard...^^
These few days I have think through... I now already put down all my unhappiness to one side... I like to do thing alone... Jus simply dunno why... Aaa... Yesterday that guy called me again... We jus chatted about the movie... Hahazz... Makin fun of each other... Jus like friends... Anyway, is good that we can still be friend after break...
Lastly, I wan to say that I now quite comfortable with my life during weekday only... I really dun feel like workin anymore... I am goin to quit my job... I wan to have a LONG break then find a comfortable job... That no need to worry all the things...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:02 AM
Thursday, September 27, 2007 ❤
27th of September... Quite tired today... Because yesterday watched the 《刺青》from YouTube from 11 something to 2 something in my laptop... The movie is damn touchin... But some parts like not so link... Got jump part by part...
The kissin part between the two main actresses being cut which shown in the YouTube... Gonna to find that part back to watch... Hee heezz... Love Rainie actin in the movie... I wish that I can be like her like that... Happy goin to get this movie from my friend...
Now me and that guy have become friend no more chance to become lover again... Actually, I really miss he huggin me... Dunno why... I really hope that I can faster find a boyfriend so that I can forget him easily... Because he really did hurt me a lot... Anyway I also hope that he can find a better girl... Good luck in everything he does...
Love this movie Lots...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:23 AM
Wednesday, September 26, 2007 ❤
Yesterday afternoon, went to see doctor with my mother... Got the medinice but only can eat it when the pain comes... No pain no need to eat... Haiz...
My medinice for the head pain... So little.. I think not enough for me to eat... I wan MORE...
Tomorrow sure must go to school... Cannot keep school... Must force myself to concentrate... No matter how pain my head is... I must bear with it... I dun wan my other classmates keep thinkin that I only know how to pon... Hahazz... Must work hard...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠4:49 PM
Monday, September 24, 2007 ❤
Second, school stresses... My daily grade of all the subjects will not that really good... During presentation, I cannot speak out easily... I dunno why... I have problem in speaking... I only done well when writing out... I really felt so much stress... So that I tried to talk with my past Enterprise Faci through MSN... He told me what is my weakness...
Third, health problems... Today I am sufferin from my serious head pain and also chest pain... Dunno why a very very pain come from the centre of my back head... The pain was like killin me... OMG... That why I pon school... I cannot take the pain if I continue to stay in the class...
Fourth, relationship with classmates... Really have difficulties to talk with some of my new classmates... I was jus tryin to figure out the questions in the worksheet.. And when they wan to share information, they never call me to gather... They only do by themselves... I wan to see also but one of the members shifted the laptop to other members excluded me...
I also did cried in class when I was angry with my grade... Some classmates might saw me cry but nobody came and comfort me... Aaarrgghhh... No one care about me in the class... Haiz... They are not my friends...
I already dunno what to do... I am out of mind... I feel like huggin my boyfriend tightly and cry in his hug if I have a boyfriend now... I really dun wan to face the problems for a period... I wan to be coward... Why I cannot do it??
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:13 PM
Sunday, September 23, 2007 ❤
23rd of September... To all the people who really care about me a lot.. I think I am ok a little... You all can come and chat with me... Feel free to do it... I dun wan to be left alone again... Being lock myself in the dark really scary...
Mmm... Today worked at Bukit Panjang... Quite happy about the workin there... No stress sometimes... But I got to do some important job for them... That why I have to go back late... Haiz... About 4 hours late to go back... Never go for break also... Because no money to eat and also no time for break... Work is quite busy...
Today morning midnight, I chatted by the guy usin SMS... Got quarrelled with him a little... Chatted about 1 hours plus like that... Shall not talk about the details that we talked... Mmm... Jus simply love talkin with him... And I also miss his lookin when he was jus woke up... I love his cute face but I think I cannot see it again... Haiz...
Tomorrow got school... Very sianz... I wish that I can pon but dunno where to go... So no choice must stay until the school end... I jus a little feel hate about my class... Dunno why got this feelin toward my class... Hope that everything will go fine... Good night now... Byebye...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:48 PM
Saturday, September 22, 2007 ❤
22nd of September... A day where to start of I do not wan to be disturb... Mmm... This morning midnight I told that guy I have give up of wooin him... His SMS back was he told me not to call him or sms him again... Why was he so MEAN to me...?? Why can't we jus be friend?? I really dun understand him... If that so, he dun deserve to be treated nicely from other... Hope that he will regret for dun wan to be my friend...
Today I dun feel like goin to work... I feel a little unwell... There is a little pain in my stomach... But I have no choice must go for work.. Cause today workin time only 4 hours... So jus stand there to work for a while... Haiz...
I think I have started to hate some people... Dunno why sometimes I dun wan to hate people but the people make me to hate them... I dun feel like hatin them... It is jus being childish to hate this and hate that...
Anyway, I shall stop here and get prepare to work later... Wish me all the BEST for these period where no one come and disturb me... Byebye...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:41 AM
Friday, September 21, 2007 ❤
21st of September... I have sent three SMSes to three people who always sent SMS to me... I am tellin them that I am not replyin any SMSes for these few days because I think I cannot take the stresses anymore and I wan to be LEAVE alone, I wan some quiet... These few days I have been quarrellin to many people... My brother, parents or even one of my friends... I really had enough...
I am TOTALLY bad mood and also Useless... Anyway, people if you saw this message and do have my handphone number, please dun SMS me unless you have really important things to say to me then I will reply... My handphone might be OFF if you are unlucky... My handphone will be ON but might never reply to some SMSes...
Now I jus need time to recover... I also dun need anyone to cheer me up... I wan to walk out of the darkness by myself... Mayb this few days I might go out by my own to observe people how they can be very happy without any stress... I wan to know...
If I continue like that, my brain might keep sayin to me that EVERYONE in the world jus simply HATE me, so jus GET LOST from the world... I felt so useless... I dunno what to do... I might jus easily end up my life if I cannot get my happiness back... I feel like I am in the jail now... So people please jus LEAVE ME ALONE... Remember dun MSN me... But I will still report my suitation everyday at here for those people who do care for me a lot... Dun worry about me... I will be doin fine after I can put down all my stresses...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:50 PM
Thursday, September 20, 2007 ❤
Walked around during waitin time... Mmm... Bought the Ice Lemon Tea to drink and also bought 2 packets of chocolate Mint at the Candy Empire to eat... Went into the threate at about 3 something...
After the movie, went back home... Very sianz... Nothing to do and also some more no one is free to accompany me... Haiz... Tomorrow need to go to school again... Will be havin Enterprise skill... Saw the problem statement already... Look like quite difficult to explain... Haiz... Jus try my best to explain... All the BEST lor... Byebye...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:43 PM
❤
20th of September... What the hell am I doin again... Why did I say I wan to forget him and the next few week I woo him again..?? This few days he had been callin me for a chat... Yesterday I really did had a nice chat with him for at least 2 hours...
I jus simply wan to give him up but it seem not so really easy because I love him too deeply... And now I still waitin for his answer... I jus wan to be change... I wan to make him to feel HAPPY... Jus hope that he will accept me...
Mmm... Later I will pon class... Because I wan to watch the movie... "UNDERDOG"... Hee heezz... Dun feel like havin class... I watchin the movie alone later at Jurong Point... First time to watch it alone without anyone accompany quite look fresh to me... Hahazz... Hope that the movie can make me laugh like hell... Shall update more about that movie next time after I watch...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:51 AM
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 ❤
19th of September... I have totally break with him... I am now SINGLE already... Anyway had a chat with him this morning midnight for about 30 minutes plus... Then after that, I watch videos from my laptop...
Anyway, I jus simply wan to thank Xiao Sin for these few days accompany me after work or school and also cheerin me up when I am sad... Thank for concernin me.. Hee hee...
Today, I was quite tired because I slept at about 2am this morning then 6 plus need to wake up for school... Mmm... Reached school at about 8.40am... Few people were in the class... Lucky never late...
Today, I havin Science... Although the Science problem statement look difficult to me in the 1st Meetin... But in the Meetin 2 onwards, I found that it was not that difficult... I also got 2 PPTs from my two other friends that had Science before already... This is to let me understand better for the problem statement...
Now havin 2nd break... I now the only person sittin in my team... Others went for break... Hope that later my presentation got improve and dun be nervous again... Hee heezzz... All the best to me...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:54 AM
Tuesday, September 18, 2007 ❤
18 of September... A really sad day for me... Jus feelin that not doin smooth in everything in my life... Haiz... Firstly, I broke with my boyfriend in the midnight of the morning today... Then need to go for work at Bukit Panjang Plaza instead of goin to school...
Goin there to work really damn borin... Nothing better to do... There also not much customers to come in and buy things.. Only come in and see see... Very sianz wan... Haiz... Still need to go there for work on Saturday and Sunday... Hope that the time can past faster...
Mmm.. I finally break with my boyfriend because I really cannot stand the way he treat me now.. If we keep on continue.., more hurt will bring to me not him.. He will not feel hurt at all... Because he is the one who hack care me everyday.. Also never send me SMS to concern me... But I still give him chance only for today... If he still wan to patch back with me, he must show some action by tonight before 12am... After that, I will think that he really dun wan to patch back...
Anyway.., jus wish him all the BEST for everything he does... Now I will not care so much about his everything in his life... I am TOTALLY out of his life already... Hope that he can be HAPPY everyday...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:49 PM
Monday, September 17, 2007 ❤
Haiz.... Really dunno wat my life is now... Now I can say it is totally UP-SIDE DOWN... I really cannot take it... Relationship got problem, school got problem and work got problem also... ENOUGH...
Tomorrow never go to school... Haiz... Because got call from work to go BBP for work tomorrow morning at 9.30am to 4.30pm... So no choice got to PON school again... I really cannot study well if I keep on like that... I now still dunno I can study YEAR 2...
I jus cannot get it... Why they wan to choose me to go there for work during my school days...?? I thought I already said that I wan Monday to Friday OFF... Yet they still arrange me for work... Then there is really no need to ask when OFF right...
Whatever... Now I will talk about my relationship problems... I have try to SMS what I wan to say to my boyfriend from my heart... Yet he never care about the SMS at all... Never reply also... What for to continue to be his girlfriend...?? Really make me hurt a lot... I think this time I really wan to give up on him totally...
My last SMS to him was "Is that all that you wan to tell me?"... Then he never reply my SMS... Is that what he wan to call what is that LOVE for..?? I really hurt with this action... In the afternoon, still SMS me care about my first of school... But later never SMS me already... Never call me "DEAR" also... Like that I really dun feel like his girlfriend at all...
ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH already... I think I already had a lot of stresses from my life... Anyway, I jus wan to say thank you to Xiao Sin for these few days... Send SMSes to me to concern me and also accompany me for the whole afternoon... I really felt happy at that time... It is really good to have a BEST friend like him... I got to go REST and also see my boyfriend will call me or not...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:27 PM
❤
17th of September... Back to school again... Sianz... First day of school... Change new class and also new classmates... Woke up in the morning at 6.15am... Then reached school at about 8 something... Felt that Block W2 really quite scary like that... Very dark and got one smelly smell... Make me feel like SUX... Horrible Buildin that I got into...
Went into the classroom... Only got 3 people in class includin me... Very quiet... So I jus set down at one corner seat... Then listen to my songs in the MP3 usin my laptop... Like that I will not feel bored... Chatted with Jing Hong through MSN... Hahazz... We gonna meet later at 1st Break..
Yesterday got workin... Worked in Lot 1... Mmm.. Quite happy to see my friends over there because long time never see them... I think about 2 weeks like that... My boyfriend said that I have become thinner... Hahazz... Thank for the comments and also must thank to my boyfriend... Because of him, I become thinner... These few weeks I already cannot eat properly and also cannot sleep well... This is the reason why I become a little thinner...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:46 AM
Saturday, September 15, 2007 ❤
15th of September… These few days I have been feelin funny… Really dunno how to say… Suppose plan to break with my boyfriend on that day… But I suddenly become so soft-hearted… I also dunno why… I kept givin him chances to change…
Yesterday, talked with him for very long… I think got about 3 hours plus… If I am not wrong… Mmm… We did quarrel for a while but then we back in nice tone again… Makin fun with each other… Chatted about everything…
I really dunno what to do… I hope that this time he can change… Really hope that he can make use of this chance… This is the only last chance I give him…
Tomorrow will be workin with my boyfriend... Dunno how he will face me tomorrow... I also dunno what to do because it is our first time to see each other after our BIG quarrel... Hope that everything will be FINE...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:21 PM
Thursday, September 13, 2007 ❤
13th of September... I think I should jus give up on my boyfriend... Since he keeps continue to treat me this way, it really make me feel hurt... I really cannot take it if my boyfriend keep never SMS a single word to me the whole day...
Yet he dare to tell me that he really got a little feelin for his ex... But for what in the first place wan to stead with me... If he love that girl, why dun he continue to woo that girl... I think that our relationship is jus a mistake for us...
Now I am waitin for the day for me to tell him for "BREAK"... Because I really tired of everything that how he treat me... I hope that he dun ever tell me he LOVE me again because I can be really soft-hearted...
Really I can't bear to let him go but since he still got a little feelin for his ex, is really no use for him to stay by my side... I only wan him to be happy... I think I will be sad for these period... I am SORRY if I say to my boyfriend... I simply wan to make him happy in future... I hope that I still can be his godsister again... No matter what happen I still Support him...
.::.Bought "SECRET" movie yesterday at Jurong Point during work... I love this movie a lot... But I dun like Jay... Hahaz... I love how the story tells and shows.. Anyway, people wan to know more about the movie can go and buy the movie now... It is now on sale...!!!
Poster I will be givin to my friend who is a fan of Jay...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:43 AM
Wednesday, September 12, 2007 ❤
12th of September... Today got work... My mood still not ok... Because dear jus now in the morning said that he feel hate about receivin my SMS... I felt hurt when I heard that sentence... I really dunno what he really wan...
That time, I did not SMS him almost the whole night because I wan to let him decide... I only SMS one SMS that tellin how I feel toward him and my heart is thinkin of... He then wan me to call him...
At first..., I thought that his answer was YES... Because he talked to me really happy like last time how we chat in the past... But he said he wan to hide from the answer forever... I knew it... He still got feelin for his ex gf... I already given up not to metion her name... But why dear kept mention her name right in front of me and kept helpin her... Am I really still your GF??
I really hope that I can be your GF... But it seem no chance at all.... STOP sayin that I will fall for that guy... I dun even care for that guy... I dun SMS him once also... Inside my heart, you are the only person that I LOVE the most... I know I did made you hurt once but you did not know you made me hurt more than that...
Now I decided... 2 days for dear to decide "SHALL WE CONTINUE OR WAN BREAK..??" I shall not SMS him for these 2 days... I really dun wan him to hide this answer forever... It really no use to remain a question mark... I really hope that he can answer this question as soon as poossible... But I will strongly tell dear that I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:10 PM
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 ❤
I sent SMS to two of my very best friend.., Jing Hong (My buddy) and Lee Ling (My Meimei), to ask them if they have this type of boyfriend like mine, how they will think or what they will do…
First sms I received was “Either he wan to break or he love you and wan you to have a better life so he act to dun love you anymore because he wan you to say the word BREAK..”
Second sms was “I think I will talk to him about the problem happening between us then see what he will say…”
But I think the second SMS will help me… So I decided to use the second SMS method… I chat with Lee Ling quite a time through SMS… I still told her that his ex girlfriend workin at the same place as me and dear… The most that make me angry the most is that why his ex wan to cut the same hairstyle as me… Yet my Meimei said that maybe his ex is tryin to snatch him away from me because she had the same hairstyle as me…
From the time that I went to cut the hairstyle that I have now.., I told dear that if his ex really cut the same hairstyle as me, I will be damn angry.. I will know that his ex still love him and tryin to snatch him away from me…
I think Dear seem to forget what I told him that I have said above… After the company dinner, he still said to me that why my hairstyle looks alike from his ex… I told him that I have this hairstyle first… Not the one I copy her…
I really dunno what his ex really wan… During the company dinner, his ex chose to set beside me… That really surprised me… Then during the time, she went to step on my leg… I dunno is she really accidently or mean it because she never says sorry to me…I told this to dear… Dear seem like keep helping his ex more than me… Some more, I ask him that why he care for his ex so much… He said to me that friend concern only… But I dun think is so easy because he now does not care about me much…
I really hope that the problem between Dear and me can solve straight away… I really dun wan this to remain a question mark… I think we need to FACE TO FACE talk in order to solve the problem… Through SMS, really make the problem worst, more misunderstandin and quarrels will come up if we use SMS to communicate…
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:47 AM
Monday, September 10, 2007 ❤
10th of September... Yesterday was company dinner... Quite fun... But too sad that dear not sittin with me... He was set to another table... That time the way Dear treated me was damn hurt to me... Because he did not care about me...
Okok FINE to me... The table that I was set was included Jurong Point staff.. Then when we were playin game.., Jurong Point staffs kept pushin me to go up the stage to play the game... Then I had no choice went up the stage to play a dancin game... Got a small gift, Clock, from them... Dear won the THIRD prize in the LUCKY DRAW... Happy for him... He also must thank me because I am the one who help him to throw the lucky draw coupon in the drawin cup...
That night, I did not win anything in the lucky draw.. Really quite sad... Because my number is really damn unlucky... "194"... Sianz lor... Anyway.., is good that I never win... Most of the prizes are jus VOUCHERS... No use at all...
After dinner.., I walked to Somerset alone... Then dear waited for me at Cathay... We bought the movie tickets then went to take a seat at Level 9... I told him how I feel during the dinner... I did not mean to wan to quarrel with him..
After that.., we went to the nearby restuarant to eat ice-cream... Dear called Fish and Chip to eat and also a banana ice-cream.. I jus ate the chocolate ice-cream only... Ate until 1 something... We went back to Cathay for movie... We watched "Naraka 19: The 19th Gate Of Hell".. This time was Dear 2nd time to watch... Mmm... In the middle was quite nice but I jus hate the endin part of the story only...
Dear watched half way and fell asleep... Because he was too tired... I let him slept at my shoulder... I love the way dear sleepin... And I hate the most is that my mother kept callin my handphone non-stop... Disturbin me in the movie.. So I jus hack care first...
After the movie.., we took cab back home.. Dear fell asleep in the cab again... And I jus kept lookin outside the street... I jus simply love Dear so much... When I reached my block, Dear then took the cab home... When I reached home.., it was like 3 something in the morning... Sms Dear for a while... Then went to sleep...
Really hope that Dear can treat me like that everyday... Because of work, we do quarrel... And also I keep easily make mistake during work... That why dear keep angry with me with this... That why I wan to quit the work there as I dun wan to quarrel with him because of work... Hope that he can accept me to quit the job... I really wan to find other job...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:25 PM
Sunday, September 09, 2007 ❤
It is already past 12 midnight... 9th of September... Later got work at 11am to 4pm... Then after that need to rush for changin for the company dinner... Very sianz cannot go home... Whole day stayin outside...
This is my first time to attend company dinner... I dunno will it be my first and last time to attend the company dinner... I might not able to survive in the company quite long... Jus see the fate...
Mmm... Jus now worked at Jurong Point... Worked for 7 hours... From 3.30pm to 10.30pm... Quite okok... Nothing went wrong.. Hee heezz.. But still really not quite use the style that Jurong Point staffs did...
I jus feelin tired of everytime need to go to the Store room to take the cake... Because on the way to the store room is really dangerous for me... There are about three malay guys keep on talkin to me... I hate them... I simply wan to scold them bad words... But jus scared that they might beat me up... Haiz...
Anyway, later will be workin at Lot 1... Long time never go back to work... Almost six days never go back... I think I might not get familiar with the cashier at there... Haiz... Sianz... Whatever... Jus wishin me good luck... Hahazz... Got to go and have some sleep now... Byebye and good night to everyone...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:33 AM
Friday, September 07, 2007 ❤
Mmm... 7th of September... Last day of OFF... Today really had a good sleep... I slept from 3 something in the morning until about 1pm then woke up... Why I slept so late..?? Because had a chat with Dear through phone for about 2 hour... Dear's talkin was still not good... It felt like anytime we can quarrel again... But dunno why I cried that time again.. I even told him that everyday he did not SMS me I would cry... And past few days, I did cried without fail... Because I dun wan dear to treat me coldly... Hope that today I will not cry again...
Dear SMSed me that he really hope that we can be like last time like that... Both of us are really tired of quarrellin... We promise each other to love each other FOREVER... No matter what I will not break with dear... And really hope that our quarrel will not come to us again...
Simply lookin forward for the company dinner... Because I wan to know how dear will treat me during that time... I hope that we will be fine real soon... I will always love you Dear... Sorry for all those quarrels made our relationship cold... I really miss my dear now... Never seen him for about 4 days...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠4:17 PM
Thursday, September 06, 2007 ❤
Back from Orchard... Out to Orchard in the afternoon with mother... Sianz... She really made a lot of noises when we were outside... First place we went was Taka... Bought some mag... Popteen & Cawaii... Very nice to see... Hee heez...
After that, we went to Far East Plaza... Went to walked around in the basement... Bought a pair of a little high heel shoes... Very nice to me... Only cost me $15 plus like that... I paid myself because my mother will not help me pay... She will not be so kind to buy for me...
After Far East Plaza.., we went to Cathay... Suppose I planned to watch horrible movie but all movies almost shown at 5 something in the evenin.. My mother complained that why so LATE... I scolded my mother that after the movie only 7 something where got late... Sianz lor... That why never go and watch the horrible movie... We watched the Rat movie... I watched twice already... My mother said that movie only average... She dun understand the movie is talkin about... Aiya... Bring her out really troublesome... I felt that I am bringin a maid out...
Ask my mother wan to eat what... She said this expensive there expensive... Aiya.. Is I pay not she pay... Then went home took bus... Still complained lazy to walk... Jus a small distance from the house to the bus-stop about 15min... Sianz... I said to my mother I wan to walk cannot... Haiz... Next time no more goin out with my mother... O goodness spolit my mood only...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:32 PM
Wednesday, September 05, 2007 ❤
What happen to us?? After a big quarelled between us, Dear like started to treat me coldly.. I dun wan... I wan like last time.. Nowadays, Dear seem like keep ignorin my SMS... Last time, he did not do that... If he busy., at least he got replied but late only... This method now he treats me really make me no mood to eat and also make me cry almost everyday.. I dunno what to do.. I feel a bit of givin up of him... But I dun dare because I really love him alot... And he also love me a lot...
I tryin to make him happy and he seem like gettin angry with me easily... I really dunno what to do to make him feel satisafied with me... I really hope that our relationship can be FOREVER not jus a few months only...
Last few days he did said break to me...At first, I kept begged him that I really dun wan to BREAK with him... But in the end, I said that FINE.. Since he wan break then we break... But I was being so soft-hearted that he SMS back he said that he would know I would not SMS him back but he really do Love me alot... I replied back that what he wan.. He love me alot yet said wan to break... But in the end, he gave me to choose wan to be stead again or BREAK... I chose to be stead...
That time I did cried very sadly.. I really put in a lot of LOVE for him... Yet jus because of small matter we quarrelled... I really hate to quarrel... I really hope that when time went past, we can be like last time that good... I jus wan to say to DEAR that SORRY to make you quarel with me.. But also please dun mention her name in front of me again because it only make me JEALOUS and angry too...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:45 PM
Tuesday, September 04, 2007 ❤
Long time never come and update... This few days from 1st of September to 4th of September really happened too much too much of things in my whole life... First thing is my work because customer wan to meet the boss, 2nd is my relationship because of my mother (Dear wan me to be good girl and wan to break with me), 3rd is my family problem because I did everything what I wan my mother will scold me very fiercely... What I done are jus WRONG things to her... ENOUGH..!!
I really dun wan to break with my dear jus because of my mother... Everytime my mother dun wan me keep goin out... But I wan to go out because I wan to see my dear... Now between both of us, my mother keeps blockin our way... My mother keeps talk bad things about my dear... I really hate my mother... I already a bit hate my mother and now she wan me to hate her more... Everytime really dun have a PEACE at home... Everytime when I am at home must quarel with my mother without fail... I really TIRED already... ENOUGH of the quarrel... That why I dun like to stay at home...
People kept sayin that I really dun look like my parents... From since Primary school until now.., I have been thinkin and supectin that am I their child...?? Why the way they treat me is the different as my brothers...?? They treat my brothers so good encourage them what they wan to do... As for me..., give me a lot of comments and look down on me... Let me lost confidence in the things that I wan to do... Why do they wan to do this to me???
Now I havin a COLD war with dear... Dear kept quarrelled with me also... He also sometimes ignore me.... I really scared that he will not care about me anymore... I jus dun wan to break with him... I jus wan him to stay by my side FOREVER... What can I do to STOP all the quarrel with him?? I really dunno already...
I think I have walked to a place where the problems become HORRIBLE... I wan someone who can lead me to a place where there is more peace... I think I cannot take the stresses anymore... And I cannot manage the problems well enough... I cannot be STRONG again to face the problems.... I know that NOBODY is wellin to help me... Because I only have a few friends... Mayb less than 10 who are to be trusted... When I am in trouble, some friends might jus get away from me... Not willing to help me... I really wan to know what are friends FOR???
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:15 PM
Saturday, September 01, 2007 ❤
Today is 31st of August… Dear supposed promise me to accompany me to go back to my Secondary School but in the end he did not appear because in the morning, he got high fever again…
In the morning at 8 something, took bus to meet Yu Ting and Lee Ling… Then we went into the school at about 9 something… Went up to the Trainin Room because was told by the Security Guard to remind in the Trainin Room until the Teachers’ Day Concert end… He also told us that we could watch the concert at the Trainin Room…
When we walked into the Trainin Room., nobody was inside… The students, who in charge to set up all the projector, were not settin up the projector… So other ex JVSians went to the hall, which was Out of bound for us… Some of them jus walked around the school…
So we decided to go to the canteen to slack… From 9 something to 10 something, all 2006 Express people came… Very few 2006 Secondary 5 people came… My class 2006 5N1 only like 3 people came including me…
Saw some teachers… I think Mr Ng(Math teacher) really cannot remember me at all… Because I stood there quite long, he only talked to my other friend not me… Sad… Hao Xin Mei Hao Bao… Treated him quite well when I was in Sec 5 last time… Haiz…
Heard from one of the teachers said that Ms Tan had not come for school quite a few months because she had been sick since few months ago… Dunno what happened to her.. If anyone got her contact number, please tell me… I wan to know how is she now…
The teacher I hate the most is Mdm Tan… She really damn KPO… I never come and talk to her… She said I so sexy… Walao… I then talked loudly to her that “Where got Sexy?” She then shut her mouth… My style is not sexy, is a style from Japan… Hate people who say me sexy…
About 11 plus, then went back home… In the bus, finally can contact Dear… He jus woke up only… Chat with him through the phone until I reached home... Went online for a while then watch some videos in YouTube...
At about 4 something.., off to Work... Today sale not bad hit 2K again... Hahazz.. Also damn busy.. No time to rest and drink water... Then worked until 10 plus...
Went to Jurong East Station to meet Dear... Ate my dinner at the MacDonald... Dear never eat only drink cola because he was not feelin well... High fever for 3 days also never go for work... Hope that he can faster get well soon...
After meal, went to play something that was fun... In level 1 and 2... Hahazz... Havin quite a lot of fun.. I got 2 Mickey Mouse at the same machine, so I gave one Mickey Mouse to Dear... Then we went to Level 2 to turn again... I got a frog this time.. But I dun wan frog... I wan the Bear or the cat... Then Dear went to Turn... He got the Bear... I exchange the bear with Dear... Hahazz... Gave him the frog and I the Bear... Hee heezz...
After that, we went back home... Dear sent me back home... We shared the ear piece together to listen my MP3 music... Havin a lot of fun in bus chattin... Lookin forward to our company dinner too... Hee heezz... 9th of September comin soon... Yay...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:29 AM
