Tuesday, April 28, 2009 ❤
28th of April... I am so happy today.. FINALLY... I got to patch back with the person I love the most.. I promise to be her BEST wife or girlfriend.. I promise I will not anyhow quarrel with her anymore.. I will not force her to do whatever things that she dun like... I will try to understand her as much as I can...
I know this relationship is not easy... We have been goin through lot of HIGH and LOW problems together... It is not easy for us being together for 1 year plus.. I hope we can hold hands together to walk till the time end...
I am sorry for all the past what I have done... I hope this time is a good start for us... I love my boy lot..
Today off.. No work at all.. I stay at home and never go out because I do need a good rest... I did switched off my handphone when I am sleeping... Switch on my handphone after I woke up...
Planning to change a new handphone and a new line really soon once I got my pay... Will not buying an expensive phone because I have a target of what I am goin to get... Maybe this is an old brand... But as long as it can be used, it is already a good handphone to me... I will not mind too much...
Shall update again once when I got the FREE time... Bye!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠4:06 PM
Sunday, April 26, 2009 ❤
26th of April... It being 3 days for me never blog... Getting quite lazy to update... Think a lot of things this few days... And I did not get to sleep well this few night too... Because I have been missing someone really badly... I really miss the person so much.. And I trying hard to patch back with that person...
Asked her so many times... She said now concentrate more on work first... But I still know that she still love me... Maybe not...
Today I felt so touched in work... Because this is the FIRST time she helped me to put on the plaster on my injuried thumb... Though so much time being together she will never do this things before... This is how I feel being love by her at the sudden...
I will not give up to woo her back again... No matter how long I wait for her to patch back with me and marry me... I remember deeply that she came my house for a night to stay and brought a ring to me and asked me to marry her in future on my bed... That was really so romantic...
I remember the FIRST KISS that she gave to me... I will never forget the feeling when we kissed together... I guess maybe no one can really replace her from my heart... I still LOVE you that much... Please dun give me up... And I still waiting for you to ask me that will you marry me again...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:34 PM
Thursday, April 23, 2009 ❤
23th of April... Really trying hard to forget the past and continue my life.. Can I really do it..?? I dunno... I guess I am back to single.. I really try really hard to forget all the past with her... But I need someone that can help me...
This few days I have been crying... I guess I need to control.. But I jus simply can't do it... Because whenever I think of that bitch words., my tear dropped.. I dun even know why that butch still think that that bitch somehow is right.. Can I know that that bitch is right in what way?? Is it making troubles in the first place then make that butch to believe in her and make me quarrel with her and break off with her then the bitch will be very happy...?? FUCK!!!!
I now simply hate that bitch to the cock.. I really regret in the first why should I make friend with her, and in the end, make myself fucking hurt and sad... Thank to that bitch I have lost a LOVE...
Anyway, I must be strong and really not to get involve in Lesbian relationship again... If I still did, I must see that the butch does behave like this butch that I had before... If is the same, I will reject her straight away... I dun wan to have another case happen again... I wan a LONG-LAST relationship and also loving too... Never ever make me cry or even leave me alone...
I believe I can find another person who deserve more for my love... And I promise I will love that person with my whole heart and never being stubborn... Sweet dream readers...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:18 AM
Monday, April 20, 2009 ❤
20th of April... How I wish that mothers' day can faster over so I can resign from the job I working now... I really did not wan to have any troubles again that why I wan to get lost from that fucking job...
Somehow, I really feel that the people who working with me, only make use of me when they need me in those computers things.. Or else they will not bother about my exist.. I really quite dun like them.. But as long as I am finish work, I will not contact with them...
I guess I am back to single again... Things have been appearing in my brain and question me lot of things that I think it is really truth.. The main thing is that I dun really understand her at all anymore..
Because she dun really willing to share her problems to me as her girlfriend... Scolded me that I am not understanding at all or stubborn when I dunno anything at all.. Hide all her things from me, which I found that she is really got problems..
Another thing is that why everytime when those aunties are angry with her, she will try her best to make them happy yet for me, she will scold me I am stubborn and not understanding... That make me feel strange and funny to her...
Mmm... I jus wish to find another boyfriend who is more understanding and know how to treat girls well... Do not always scold their girlfriends so easily those type...
Hope everything will go well when I really resign from that job... I jus wan a NEW life... And start my whole life all over again..
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:17 PM
Sunday, April 19, 2009 ❤
19th of April... Today shall be the day to start a NEW LIFE.. I dun really wish to hear any bad rumor around me... I wan to be a happy person once again in my life... I am a changing person right now.. Not because of anyone because of my age... I growing older each year and I can't behave like a kid always being so stubborn.. I do hope that BOYFRIEND can really understand me why I changed...
Today woke up at 12pm plus... Went online and off to FACEBOOK to play some games... Search all kinda of Japanese songs... Then burn some of their MVs into a VCD...
Next about 3 plus in the afternoon, went to Orchard with my mother.. Because I wan to buy things... So took bus no. 198 then bus no. 111... Dropped down at Somerset to HMV... Went to find some Japanese album... I found them and it is really damn expensive... 60 to 70 over dollar jus for an album... And I think is useless to me because I already have their songs in my laptop and also Ipod...
So next went to Taka to buy my favourite FASHION magazine... Cawaii and Popteen... Damn cool... Every month must buy.. I am a fanz of theirs... Introducting lot of latest FASHION clothes from Japan.. Anyway, they converted to Chinese from Taiwan...
Next to Far East Plaza... Dinner at a Japanese Fast food.. Then went to Level 1 to find the suitable high heel shoes for me... Damn walked a lot of shoes shop yet cannot really find a suitable wan... But when found, they will also OUT OF STOCK... Damn always like that... How difficult for me to find a shoes that I love it a lot... I always so unlucky..
But anyway, I might goin to Lot 1 to see is there any stock for that shoes... Because I in love with that shoes already... And I got to buy it no matter what..
Tomorrow is another day of resting... YAY.. I am goin to stay at home alone... Parents and brother working, another brother start school.. OMG... I guess I might plan to wake up late... Hee heez... Tuesday shall start work again... Kinda of sianz.. Everyday have to work... Why dun money jus appear right in front of me whenever I need them... Haiz...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:33 PM
Saturday, April 18, 2009 ❤
18th of April.. Life isn't goin damn smooth... DAMN!! I really dunno what to do... Feeling so mess up and FUCK UP too... Being pissed so often... First time in my life I scold someone through MSN...
This person had made my life so mess up... This person made my relationship really unstable right now... DO YOU KNOW THAT I HATE YOU FUCKING MUCH NOW!!??? I hate you make my life turn like that... I hate you influence my boy... I hate you for making my boy not trusting me as much... I HATE YOU TO THE MAX...
Trying relly hard to make my boy feel love every single minutes... My boy is never being replaced by anyone from my heart... I deeply fell in love with her from the past till now and forever... Never changed...
I miss my boy so much right now... I cannot do anything at all.. Saddness is that in future I cannot always work with my boy... Because dun wan people to suspect me and my boy... We only can hide our relationship from people... So sad... Admire other couples so much... They can work together and do things together... Yet I cannot... People see both of us together, people will very unhappy... Haiz...
Hope something can make my life go smooth... I really feel so mess up right now... DAMN!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:21 PM
Friday, April 17, 2009 ❤
17th of April... Back to blog... BOYFRIEND did not really SMS me much for this period... Kinda of sad... I wonder that is she really care for me... Disappointment from her... I wan her to disturb me more...
Anyway, I should thank all those friends, who I know online, for concerning me though I really not close with them at all... Whenever they saw me go online, they will MSN me and ask me am I ok... I really feel the warmth from the friends... Thank for making me feel so touch.. Without the concern from friends, I really dunno that what I will become be...
BOYFRIEND I have been thinking over and over again... I know that you getting older and older... And work is No.1 in your heart... But sometimes you also need to care about your girlfriend too... Do you know without you caring me I really feel like so useless... Without your LOVE, I can't stand up and be strong to continue my rest of my life... You are the strongest support for me...
BOYFRIEND have you ever think back that how long we never go for a date? How long we never hold hands together? How long we never hug and kiss together..? How long have you ever bother to care for me? How long have you ever care to talk to me?? How long have you ever think of me?
We since become further and further.. There is a distance between the both of us... We can't even work together because you scared of something which I dun really dunno what is the something.. I try to telling you over and over again that I wish to work with you at least A DAY but you also will not allow...
I really miss the time that we had in the past... How I wish that time can turn back to the past... We never being separated from work.. We even talk about everything in life and also future.. How much you have been missing me and love me... Willing to accompany me back home when I finish work.. Make me happy when you feel that I feel sad or angry...
Thinking those memories back jus made me wan to cry... Regret about the past that I often quarrel with BOYFRIEND... I wonder if we did not quarrel will we be like now... Maybe NO!! Haiz...
Anyway., I will stop thinking about past but only can MISS... Goin to bed now.. Sweet dream.. I love you my dearest baby hubby... Hope you will love me more like in the past...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:19 AM
Wednesday, April 15, 2009 ❤
Back to blog.. Miss my baby so so much.. She now working at Bukit Panjang right now... Jus now after work sent her to Bukit Panjang then back to Jurong Point to find diary... But in the end, bought the worng type... The book I bought was the scheduler... Damn... Maybe I will not buy any diary but I will make my own diary... But I still think that my drawing is sux... It will not be nice.. Haiz...
Then back to home... I still feeling so uncomfortable... Is real?? Because that bitch has made my life turn upside down... She broke our friendship jus because of a GUY..!! She dun believe me at all... It is totally hurt my feeling and my heart...
Now I trying real hard to prove them that I am the right one.. Because I did not do anything wrong.. I jus made a NEW friend that all... I really dunno how I can do... I even print out the evidence that the topics that me and him talked... We even did not talk about the relationship at all or even something related to working... I even never tell him where I work... I hate to let people know me in real life... I prefer cyber world...
No one really understand me... People please do believe in me... I never ever interested that guy because in my heart BABY will never being replaced FOREVER!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠6:11 PM
❤
15th of April... Damn.. I still not sleeping yet... Staying awake now... Sleeping really soon... Later working morning... This period I have found lot of Japan songs from the singers I dunno.. But their songs are quite nice...
Dunno why now I dun really like the song to be rock... I like more in cute and slow song now... I now seldom listen to Ayumi... Damn... She once my most favourite singer but now no more... But I still love her look... She quite pretty with her make-up and all beautiful clothes...
Simply finding the detail about a girl band singers... But from the internet search, I can't even found their songs easily online.. Damn.. I wan their songs so badly.... Their songs are jus super comfortable to me...
Aren't they CUTE~~??
Anyway, their group name is called 渡り廊下走り隊... I dunno in English... They are part of AKB48 members... Their 2nd single is releasing really soon... Hope that I can get to download their latest song... I love their latest songs.. I have watched their MVs already... And realised that I miss my school life...
Got to sleep now... Sweet dream to my dearest bloggers...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:10 AM
Sunday, April 12, 2009 ❤
12th of April... This period I have totally mental break down whoever mention about the thing happen... I will cry till like nobody else... Because that bitch had totally betray me and hurt my feeling and even the trust for her.. So please dun mention about the bitch in front of me...
Today work because BOYFRIEND mention about the bitch at work., I automatic cry.. My tears is like tap water... Can't being stop... I need about 30 minutes to recover the saddness to happy... I wish I can forget the words that the bitch say to me... Her words hurt me deep in my heart...
I wonder why people from FuHua Secondary school still say that she is quite a good person... But if you get near of her, she is TOTALLY not a good person... She loves gossip and never wan to keep sercet... Easily betray friends... Even can cheat you money...
Yup I have being cheated by her.. She borrowed money from me but in the end, did not return me a single cents... Said and promised wan to return in the past... BUT NO!! I still remember deeply that once she got her pay she will return... But in the end, she got her pay and where my money... She spent her money to her trip to JB and entertainment.. OMG... I really still fucking foolish that I trust her in the first place...
Anyway, I jus dun wan to fight with her because in the first place.., I did not do anything wrong... I jus had normal friend conversation with a new friend, who that bitch love him a lot... COME ON MAN BITCH... Is normal to talk to a friend right.. What for everyday tell me that I WIN THE BATTLE and YOU LOST... WHAT THE FUCK YOU WAN COME ON!!
Tomorrow I goin to give the evidence to let BOYFRIEND see and also let BOYFRIEND know that is that the method that feel that we are in love with each other..
Haiz... Hope this problem can faster settle and I also dun wish to see that fucking BITCH FOREVER... FUCK OFF MAN..
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:38 PM
Saturday, April 11, 2009 ❤
Now still finding more songs so I can import into my Ipod... Wee~~ More songs and I will not get so bored easily...
Yesterday really a VERY BAD DAY for me because BOYFRIEND mad at me as I scold her that she kept on nag at me.. I feel so much guilty.. Asked her for forgiveness while on the way back home... Everyone was like keep staring at us... Yet I dun really care.. I kept on saying "SORRY" to her and pull her not letting her walk too fast away from me...
However, today she finally forgive me.. But I wonder she still really kinda of like angry with me... I am jus scared to see how she feel for me now..
Anyway, hope that we can be like last time like that... I miss all the happiness in the past we had together even the time we had together...
This period I have been really felt disturb and anger because one of the "FRIEND" in the past now keep asking me that is it I got feeling for him... This HIM is the person who she love and is not her yet... Anyway, this SHE is a auntie age and this HIM is about 2 year bigger than me like that...
This HIM add me in friendster to become one of my online friend... And yet this SHE really so KPO till say that I and HIM is couple... And yet complain to me that she is jealous and upset... But what for being jealous and upset first??
In the FIRST place, I do have my own BOYFRIEND... I have no interest for him.. The way we talk are only like friends caring toward each other... Jus like what SHE had done in the past with my BOYFRIEND... Do I always complain to HER when I jealous?? I DUN!! I jus complain to my BOYFRIEND straight away...
I jus wonder what SHE really wan?? Why even I make a friend with HIM she also care a lot?? What the FUCK UP she wan...?? I feel that SHE is such a BITCH!! COME ON GET A LIFE.. If you love HIM, please be honest and ask HIM to be your BOY... Dun beng so coward MAN!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:03 PM
Wednesday, April 08, 2009 ❤
8th of April.. Another month have past... SO FAST.. Anyway, to my DEAREST BABY, HAPPY 13th MONTH ANNIVERSARY... Jus a simple greeting... I know she will not able to see my blog anymore... As she said to me before that, she dun have the FREE time to come online and also she had lost my blog address... Haiz...
I know I should being stubborn asking her to come online always to read my blog or accompany me to talk as she is different from me... She had a lot of things to do at home... Unlike me, I feel like I have not been grown up yet... Seldom do house work at home.. So shame of myself...
This time also the same... Did not really plan to celebrate our anniversary... I also did not give any present to her too... So does she also... Every anniversary no present from her to me...
I jus feel that we are already like husband and wife... No need to go out for dates or either accompany each other when FREE.. Jus see each other during work... Or either if I can, jus accompany her during her break time.. That all... Not like all those couples on the street, hugging each other, holding hands or either kissing... We dun do that at all...
Now trying damn hard to become an adult and also to be more understanding to BOYFRIEND... And try not to quarrel always... Guess I think I can do it soon.. Cause this period, I have break my record that I dun quarrel with BOYFRIEND very very often... Really happy...
Got to sleep now.. Eyes can't open already... Hope everything will goin FINE and SMOOTH... I LOVE YOU BABY...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠2:16 AM
Saturday, April 04, 2009 ❤
4th of April... Damn.. Getting more tired to update my blog... Because of work and also have no more interest to update my blog... This week because of some cases, 2 staffs had to take urgent leave for the whole week.. And I have to suffer because I have no more OFF day to rest and must work LONG hour for this week... My next OFF day is next week that mean still got 8 days to my OFF day...
I seriously must admit that I am getting old... I can easily get knee pain, back pain or whatever pain when I worked too LONG... In the past, I dun have that... Dunno why...
Yesterday seriously enjoyed the dinner with BOYFRIEND although it is jus a while... After work, waited for BOYFRIEND to come out from the outlet.. Then we look for places to have dinner... Most of the places are almost full house and really can't find a suitable place to eat.. So in the end, we chosen KFC as there is a little spaces there...
I treated her dinner.. Lolz... I ate her Chicken Breast meat... So funny... I hate breast meat but we ate the wrong chicken for each other... BOYFRIEND was like acting pity... Then set there for a little chit chat lot of stuffs that concern around us...
After that, went back home together... Accompanied BOYFRIEND to wait for the train headed to EAST then off to take Bus 334 alone..
13th month anniversary is coming really soon like jus 4 days later... And I have thought of what I goin to give for BOYFRIEND... But I am lazy to get that present done... Because need to do a little of research.. I think I will done the present by Monday which I am quite free and got the chance to end work early...
Anyway, later working night shift and need to extend till closing which is 10.30pm... Hope that I will not complain about TIREDNESS... Lolz.. Bye..
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:23 AM
Wednesday, April 01, 2009 ❤
1st of April... Happy April Fool Day... Yesterday I jus bought a webcam... I bought the webcam in the cheapest price at POPULAR... Dunno why at a sudden wan to buy a webcam... But havin a webcam is good because I can take photos and also can video call with my friends...
Yesterday midnight first time webcam with my godbrother, Xiao V.. Wee~~ Is so damn cool... Took a few screen shot with him... We look super dumb like that... Hahazz...
Anyway, if anyone wan webcam with me.., I am really WELCOME.. But limit to all people who know me in REAL LIFE ONLY... Hahaz...
Screen shot...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:24 AM
