☠❤Unexpected Jas❤☠

Friday, November 28, 2008 ❤

Have been waiting BOYFRIEND's reply or some little chat since afternoon.. But in the end, BOYFRIEND ignore all of my messages and refuse to chat with me... Why do she change to another person..??

People around me keep telling me something that make me feel that I am the one who is thinking too much... But do people understand that when BOYFRIEND right in front of me show me her TRUE person to me??

I feel super hurt by the way she treat me... No word can really describe the hurt... So painful... Everytime I sms to her how much I feel toward her and also did tell her the bad point of her... But in the end, she did not bother to reply back... She jus open the messages then ignore it straight away...

I even can feel about how she feel after she receive the SMS-es... I even can sense how people feel because that is my power in my body... Sometime I even can tell the future... But the pictures that about future often appear during in my dream... But it is quite unclear.. And everytime I have to guess...

BOYFRIEND if you do LOVE me, PLEASE sms me more often... I REALLY BEG YOU... Now in my life, I do need a BOYFRIEND to give me happiness and move on my life by giving me support and courage... But BOYFRIEND you are still not the one who is willing to give me all this...

I remember the very first time you keep SMS-ing me... I was crying really badly... That was about 2 years ago... Because I felt stresses in my life and I am unwilling to continue my life... And you are the one who keep SMS-ing me giving me advices and keep telling me that I must look at a bright side... You even keep accompany me almost the whole night... I am also happy that you even try to avoid your friends and went to one side to chat with me instead... That was my best memories that I first met you...

I miss those days in the past... I wish that we can be like last time... How close are we... And you willing to bring me along when you are goin to visit your friends... Even when it is dark in the night, you still accompany me to the bus-stop to protect me from danger... This is how I fall in love with you and that time you melt my heart with your charm...

When we first started relationship, you even tried to wake up early to send me to school... I know that you have tried your BEST to rush to my house and send me to school.. I know that time I was quite not mature... I even not so happy that you arrive late at my house... I know I should not be unhappy... I should be touched by what you have done to me....

Thank you BABY what you have done in the past... I do feel happy that I have you by my side... I even feel so happy that whenever you saw me, I can see the tiredness from you... You even force yourself that not to lie your head on my shoulder although you are tired... I feel so heart pain when I saw you fell asleep when we were on a date...

If time can really turn back.., I beg god can turn back to the time when I first met her and I will try to change the history unlike the time like now... IF I DO HAVE THE CHANCE... Now I only can say that BABY please recover soon from your sickness... Or else you will feel more uncomfortable after you do laser-ing... And now you also must try your best to make your body not so weak...

BABY I LOVE YOU... But please do LOVE me more... My heart never ever change... And I will try my BEST to wait for you...

These are some randoms photos are I have done in the afternoon... Audition games and my little eating after finish work at home...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:37 PM

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28th of November... Back to blog... Everything that said by BOYFRIEND really hurt me a lot a lot... I am tired... Why she jus can't be like last time...??? She changed into more selfish than last time...

From the time she changed, she said to me if there is important thing she then reply... Other matter she will not reply a single thing.... So I am always being ignored... And now I understand I no longer a inportant person to her anymore...

BOYFRIEND never know that I am hurt so much... She will not care at all... Today she cancel the date with me and said she sick and wan to see doctor... But I dunno is she really goin to see doctor... But what I heard that she called someone and asked that person wan to go out with her...

And I asked her through SMS that if she goin out with other can tell me... I will not angry... But if she never tell me that she goin out, I will be very very angry with her... And why does she always hide everything from me...??

I hate myself why do I put in lot of LOVEs to love her and gain her attention?? Why do I being a good person to help her everytime although something might cause her bad..?? Why am I always so soft-hearted after hearing her sweet talk..??

I think if one day her closet friend wan her to break with me, BOYFRIEND sure will do it... Because I heard from BOYFRIEND that her closet friend did told her that I am not a really good girl... And those things that made my BOYFRIEND think that I am not match with her those things... Tryin to make her break with me...

But BOYFRIEND have you ever think back that mostly our quarrels are all about her??? And never fail is that you keep helping her but not me, YOUR GIRLFRIEND...

People last time have been rejected me to being with BOYFRIEND... And in the end, I dun listen to them... They have been telling me that my BOYFRIEND does have the organs that what girls have, so if in future, BOYFRIEND will still fall in love with BOYs if she change in mind and become girl again... This type of relationship will not LAST LONG...

I wonder whose talking is really RIGHT... I hope BOYFRIEND can do prove, that stay with her forever is not the WRONG choice, before I made my decision...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠3:35 PM

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28th of November.. Getting near to Christmas... I think I will not celebrate Christmas again.. I never have a chance to celebrate my Christmas... How I wish I can have a Christmas PARTY...

BOYFRIEND has cancelled the movie date for later because she is SICK again... Sianz... Really LONG LONG LONG time never go out with her... Dunno when can she be healthy again to accompany me to go out... I think our last date is on her birthday... That was the LAST date till now...

I do hope that BOYFRIEND can never reject me when it is my birthday next year... I do hope that she can celebrate with me... Everytime no BOYFRIEND celebrate with me before and Valentine day also... I always celebrate myself or being SINGLE... Haiz... I hope this time I do have the chance to celebrate with her...

Our 9th month anniversary is comin really soon.. Guess we might not able to celebrate again... Might be working separately... So sianz.. How I wsh I can celebrate our anniversary... All couples do celebrate but for us, we did not celebrate one at all... Haiz...

Anyway, hope that tomorrow will be a BETTER day for me... Injuries on my hand are recovering quite fast... O.o

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:20 AM

Thursday, November 27, 2008 ❤

27th of November... I really dunno what to say... BOYFRIEND every sms hurt me deeply in my heart... Once again and again... I really dunno is it RIGHT to be with her anymore...

She said to me that it is waste of her time to talk to me... Who say I dun care?? I do really care a lot.. If I dun care, why do I cry almost every night jus for BOYFRIEND..?? Why do I always worry about BOYFRIEND...??

I even thought that I wan to call her but I am scared... I am scared of the way she talk to me... So cold and sound like stranger... No longer like a couple anymore...

Before I deciding my future.., I hope BOYFRIEND can treat me more like GIRLFRIEND... If she does still hurt me... I think I better GIVE UP and leave her.. Never wan to contact with her again... I am TIRED...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:24 PM

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 ❤

Thank you so much for that special friend who jus now listen to my problems... Maybe you are the friend that I can believe and trust the MOST...

Thank for listening whenever I need someone to listen my problems... And also thank for caring about my injuries... YOU are the ONLY PERSON who really notice my injuries...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:39 PM

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26th of November... I hurt myself again... HOW SILLY I AM... I hate myself why do I always being so such a failure to be BOYFRIEND's girlfriend... Why when BOYFRIEND sick, I am not the FIRST to being know?? Why do BOYFRIEND always keep a lot of things against me..??

I will not show my injuries at here... Because one of the lines is quite deep... And now is quite painful... BOYFRIEND did not have any feeling when she saw this... She even never help me to like put on plaster... She jus treat that nothing happen... That is what I hurt the most of all... Why do she change so much..??

Last time when I am hurt, she even help me to put on a plaster... How sweet of her in the past... She do whatever things does melt my heart in the past... Even I love to look at her serious look when she was working...

BUT NOW, she never ever do anything that melt my heart... Even her serious look at work no longer really nice looking... I can notice something that when BOYFRIEND work with other people, I can see the happiness and really high... Like talking so loudly without stress like that... But working with someone that made me mad a lot, BOYFRIEND looked TIRED and do a bit stress... And the main thing that her talking also quite soft like an ants...

I wonder is it BOYFRIEND saying is RIGHT... Do I really think too much..?? Then why do I always feel that I am so unlove..?? Everytime BOYFRIEND never sms me... When working with me jus the 2 of us, then she will bother to treat me as GIRLFRIEND?? In other time, she never even care to reply my messages...

I am jus worry again that BOYFRIEND outside might fall in love with other female as she did it before long ago... I am jus scared...

I am now waiting for BOYFRIEND's SMS... I even dun wan to sleep early... Everyday every night wait till 1 to 2 plus in the midnight then sleep... But in the end.., she did not sms me any GOOD NIGHT messages or messages that what couples always SMS...

I really run out of my mind.. What can I do so that BOYFRIEND can be like the last time BOYFRIEND..?? Do she still love me like usual in the past..?? Now what do she treat me as?? Why am I always left unknown about her..?? Why she always show her true colour to me and making me hurt always whenever I jus made a little tiny small mistake..??

BABY I really have been working hard for the future... I even try to let you in always... I never ever always make you say SORRY in the quarrel... I always BLAME MYSELF that why do I always quarrel with you... I even try to change my FUCKING jealousy attitude...

I even dun mind you scold me to release your anger... But I HATE IT when you scold me right in front of so many people... I HATE IT...

Do you ever remember that I AM YOUR GIRL?? Who also need to being LOVE AND CARE??

BABY I already given you my EVERYTHING... And now you treat me like that, do make me feel so CHEAP to you..?? Like those chicks on the street waiting for people to have fun... What can I do so that BABY you will treat me like in the past???

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:31 PM

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26th of November... I am back again... Back in my own room... Four walls and bed in the centre.. Without anyone disturbing me... I am feeling so much lonely... I wonder is there anyone willing to come forward to accompany me to talk..?? Everyday in the middle of the night, I keep worrying everyday that can I be happy again..?? Why be happy can be a huge problem to me..?? Why I cannot smile easily like other people..??

I am crying right now.. Yet nobody know at all.. Locking myself up in my room... Listening all those sad sad music... Thinking all the bad and unhappiness memories... I miss myself in the past...

Yesterday night (25th of November), quarrelled with BOYFRIEND... I hate to quarrel but in the end, really cannot control... I thought that she can smell my jealousy... But in the end, I am in the wrong... Almost the whole day never talk to me... I prevent myself from getting mad by keep myself busy all the time...

Till that staff went off.. BOYFRIEND can find nobody to talk with then find me to talk... Am I jus a replacement to BOYFRIEND?? I jus find that she might using the same style of treatment that she treated to her ex... I am really scared of that style... I even HATE that style... If one day she does really use it to me, I am no longer that kind to her anymore... I think I might jus leave the place and auto GIVE UP to make myself better...

I miss BOYFRIEND saying sweet stuffs to me like in the past.. MISSED so so so much... Now I really dunno what can make her say that to me again... I really tired to think about it anymore... Why must I force her to say then she will say to me..??

I am really hurt so badly and cannot be easily happy anymore... I really dunno what to do that BOYFRIEND will LOVE me more... I really feel so UNLOVE... BOYFRIEND when will you show me more love..?? When will you tell me that you love me without me will not be happy??

I am still waiting for the day that you will say that YOU LOVE ME THE MOST~~

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:17 AM

Monday, November 24, 2008 ❤

24th of November... I missing BOYFRIEND while watching some DVDs... Hugging my little Teddy bear tightly dun ever wish to let go at all... I wonder is it right to hold her tight like that..?? I always feel so useless... Because I do not know how to take good care of her... Everytime she only tell the people who is closet to her about all her everythings... I HATE IT la...

Last time, all my BOYFRIENDs in the past will always talk to me through phone to tell me what they are happy, sad or angry with... And when I say something sweet to them.., they will feel like been charged fully by me...

I wonder will BOYFRIEND miss me without seeing me once... Yesterday I was mad at BOYFRIEND... Because she said that one week she will not see me, she feel more happier... Is this the way to make GIRLFRIEND to be more happy...?? Whenever GIRLFRIEND heard this sentence, girlfriend will sure angry...

BOYFRIEND last time very caring toward me and everytime I feel not so happy, she often trying hard to make me happy though she looked a bit silly most of the time... But that time I feel touched... But now, she changed... Dunno why she changed.. She no longer that caring to me and whenever I am not happy, she even show anger to me telling me that why I am so stubborn...

BABY HUBBY... I do hope that you can sms me sometime because only your sms can really make me happy... Now I can say confirmly say that my NEW friend already become stranger to me because we no longer contact each other though we work in the same mall... And also if we saw each other, we will not say "HELLO" or "BYE" to each other... Like we never know each other before..

BABY because of you, I cold-treated all my friends... All my friends start to say I EMO... And like living in my own world...

BABY I LOVE YOU lot.. I am willing to give up everything jus for you... I never ever will break my promises to you... YOU are my EVERYTHING...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:00 PM

Sunday, November 23, 2008 ❤

23th of November... I really missing my BOYFRIEND right now... Sian... I dunno what happen to me... In the past, I dun miss my BOYFRIEND until like this before... This is my FIRST time experience this type of feeling... I really hate to miss BOYFRIEND everytime... Yet in the end, I dun even know my BOYFRIEND does missing me...

When I am missing BOYFRIEND really badly like hell, I will cry automatic no matter where I am... I really dun even care about what other think about me anymore... I lost control of my tears... Argh..

I simply wish that I can have a simple love with no jealousy and no hurt at all... I dun wan to have a SPECIAL LOVE anymore... Special love made me crazy all the time... And in the end, cause me EMO a lot... I hate it...

I hope that BOYFRIEND can always seldom sweet talk... I can see BOYFRIEND had changed a lot in her attitude... And I am very happy that she changed... But I jus hate myself.. Why I can't change my STUPID JEALOUSY attitude..??? Argh...

I wish that this devil in my body, who is controllin my brain, can stop making me think too much about BOYFRIEND... Everytime cause me BAD DREAM too in the night when I was sleeping... All the bad dreams are always all about BOYFRIEND has been betraying once again and again... And everytime I am the THIRD PARTY... I hate to spolit other people relationship...

BABY I do really hope that after you recover, you can spend a little more time on me... Because I have been waiting for you patiently... Everyday waiting for your SMS to concern me or love me.. Or even date me out since a few months ago..

One day, you never SMS me or talk to me, I will feel so uncomfortable, lonely, sad, empty and UNLOVED... Argh.. Sianz...

I do miss the time when you willing to take OFF and sepnd some nights with me... That time was my MOST HAPPINESS moment in my whole entire of my life... I really hope that I can turn back the time... We do look so formal when we were at the NIGHT SAFARI... Hahaz... And you keep complaining that you are very HOT almost all the time...

BABY I do hope that during my this coming BIRTHDAY, you will willing to spend your night with me again... I do MISS YOU so so much... I LOVE YOU lot too... PLEASE GIVE ME a chance to spend the night with you on my coming BIRTHDAY and this is my 20th birthday wish... Hope you wll help me to fulfill it...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:36 PM

Saturday, November 22, 2008 ❤

22th of November... Did not see BOYFRIEND or either receive any SMS from her... How I wish that I can know what she is doing when she never work... As long as BOYFRIEND tell me that what she doing, further more I will not disturb her...

But if she never tell me anything else, my brain will tell me that she is jus hiding a lot of stuffs from me... I jus hate my brain keep thinkin this stuffs non-stop... ARGH...

Yesterday night (21th of November), I sms-ed her a number of messages.... She ignored it.. And at about 11 plus, she sms-ed a message which I think like stranger method sms to me.. Couple will not even sms a "PLEASE" in their sms... It is too much FORMAL...

I never had a guy sms me like this before... Even my friends also never include a "PLEASE" before... She is the FIRST person to me... That mean is she is not really close to me at all to my feeling... I sayin this at here is that BOYFRIEND please dun ever use the "PLEASE" word in the SMS...

In the last, I am tired to fight back... In the end, I never reply because I cried... BOYFRIEND you will never feel strange that I never message back... Last time, I will try to fight back my right... I will quarrel with you... But now I no longer... I am tired already...

And now, I also find that my friends are leaving me... LOTs of friends... Not jus one only... I dun wish to mention their names... If friends really wan to leave me, I will let them be... Because I am tired to hold them back...

One more things I jus find that my body is getting weaker and weaker... My right leg is getting bad to worst... Because 2 parts of my legs are damn itchy like hell... And now it is getting like worst stage... I scared that if in future, my right leg will CHOP OFF... My injuried parts got water come out... I hate those water come out... I jus wish that there is something that I can tie on my injuries so when it is itchy, I will not easily stretch on it like last time when I was in primary school...

I wish that I can STOP that itchness on my legs and recover soon.... I hate those itchness... ARGH..

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:46 AM

Friday, November 21, 2008 ❤

21th of November... Sianz sia... I wan to scold a BIG bad word... Sorry People for being rude for a MOMENT... I jus wan to let out my little anger out here...

FUCK!!

Haiz... I am not scolding anyone or mad at anyone... I am jus unhappy about yesterday mood... I hate my mood yesterday... Thank to my period... Made me SO TIRING for the whole entire day and also dun feel like doing anything at all... I HATE it...
I must also thank to some people who being understanding to me... Sorry for showing a little bad attitude if you all feel that way...

Sianz... Working later... And it will be LONG hour... And feeling even bad that is never have a chance to see BOYFRIEND as she never work later... Haiz... I miss her so so so much... I know it is very difficult to get so close to her because work is work, never ever can like 偷偷谈恋爱... Sianz... And also cannot let people in the work know that we are couple... DOUBLE Sianz sia... -.-"

I do see other work places do allow couples and also let them work together... Even friends also even never reject them or what... I do admire this type of matter... Sianz... Why do our work place must be so outstandinding from all the work place..?? Why dun the company allow COUPLEs...?? I jus dun get it... Sianz...

Mmm... I miss BOYFRIEND right now... I everyday miss her... But I dun even get a chance to know that is she missing me or not... Because everytime I sms and told her "I love her" and "I miss her"... But I never ever get her messaging me that she miss me or she love me...

But I will no longer mad at her like last time... Because I am tired to quarrel anything... As long as my heart does trust her.. But in future., I really dun wish that in the end she betray me.. I even dun wan, that BAD dream I always have, will come true either... Anyway, I will be happy once again if she call me "DEAR" again... That word she stop callin me since a lot of months ago... I dunno why she stop calling me... I do hope to know the answer...

Anyway, I had stop calling you as "DEAR" and changed as "BABY" because in my heart.., you are always never grown up and CUTE little BABY to me only... Because you keep showing me your attitude and behaving like a small kid... You need people to make you happy... And I am your wifey wish to stay by your side forever to make you happy always...
I LOVE YOU FOREVER BABY HUBBY~~!!

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:10 AM

Thursday, November 20, 2008 ❤

20th of November... Mmm... Right now missing my BOYFRIEND badly... Feel so sad because later will not be workin with BOYFRIEND... So sad... How I wish I can see BOYFRIEND everyday and also be BOYFRIEND's side always and never separate...

Yesterday (19th of November), I do had a great and comfortable day... The rainy day did not affect my mood neither my period too... Hahazz... Went to Jurong Point to meet God Didi, Eric... Because he treating me lunch as he owe me since 2 years ago... We ate the Fish & Chip...

Had a little chit chat with him... He said that I changed a lot... Last time de me always love to LAUGH a lot... Like non-stop... But now, I no longer that person... I do always like BLACK face... I also did not realise that I change a lot... I do miss the time when I am young... The happy character that I had... I dunno why is this happen to me...

After lunch, went for some little shopping.. Ordered some clothes from 77th street shop and Didi paid the bill as it is another present for me... Next, went to buy a NEW wallet at Level 1.... Finally... My wallet has been spolit for a few months ago and I did not have the time to buy a NEW wallet... NOW I BOUGHT IT... Wee~~

Shopped till 5 plus... Didi sent me to the MRT station and I went off to Lot 1 to collect my little mini rolls from POLAR... I also do feel excited because I got the chance to see BOYFRIEND... So so so HAPPY...

Glad that BOYFRIEND has not have her break yet before I arrive... YAY.. SO HAPPY got the chance to hold her hands for a little while... I should say THANK YOU BOYFRIEND because you gave me a chance to accompany me for a little shop with me at LOT 1... I LOVE YOU BABY!!

Time does really fly past fast... And BOYFRIEND got to go back to work... And me got to go back home... I do not bear to leave her... This is what I always feel almost everyday... It is really hard time to be with her only... I always pray to gods that gods can pause the time for a longer while for me, so that I can have more happy moment with BOYFRIEND...

Today plan to sleep early... Hope that I can do what I say... Hope that everyday can be a better day... BABY I LOVE YOU always...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:18 AM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 ❤

19th of November... Time flies fast... I have been busy workin and I dunno what had happening around me anymore... This time round I found that some FRIENDs have already left me... Because I never often contact them... I know that I am the person who really difficult to communicate with but I do try my best... I know that I am a cold-blooded person who always dun like to talk to other people... Jus dunno why I am this type of person...

Lookin forward for the day to accompany BOYFRIEND to an appointment at the hospital on 1st of December... I took OFF on that day and being approved a few weeks ago... Hahazz.. Because I wan to have more time on BOYFRIEND... This shall be my 2nd time accompany BOYFRIEND to hospital... Hope that BOYFRIEND can get well soon.. Really miss the healthy BOYFRIEND in the past...

Planning for my comin BIRTHDAY party on 9th of February on 2009... A few months later... I do really hope that I can have a BIRTHDAY party... And my plan is that I wish to have a chalet... And I do really wish that BOYFRIEND can also take leave on that day to accompany me too... I am turning 20... And this is my FIRST time to face my FIRST digit is "2"... No longer "1"... This "2" to me is quite an important thing... Because it jus like I becomin an adult... No longer a teenager...

I do hope that this plan can be success... As in the past I kept sayin that I might be opening a chalet but in the end, it turn out fail as dun have time to plan...

I might only invite a few friends who still contacting me... Because you are the people who have been accompany me for the lifes without givin up on me... Thank people...

I found that this time round almost everyday I do MISS BOYFRIEND badly... Without seeing her once a while, I jus feel that I am so LOST in this world and behaving like a dumb... BOYFRIEND has become more and more important in my life... BOYFRIEND is the only support for me...

BABY I know you are goin to be busy soon... But I do hope that you can jus spare some times on me and accompany me for some dates... I miss the time that you always hug me so tightly... I will never forget the time in the past you sent me home and when way back to my house, you will not bear to let me go... I am so much surprise that you hug me from the back so tightly and made me understand how much you love me... And wan my kiss badly on your cheek before you will go off...

BABY I hope that when it is ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, we can celebrate it... I dun mind how you wan to celebrate it... As long as you are willing to spend your time with me, I will be happy and LOVE... Because ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY is really important to the couple... As it is not very easy to be together... Couples have been goin through HIGH and LOW stages from each part of the relationship to maintain the relationship to be LONGER.. AND PLEASE during that ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY dun ever think to go for WORK... REMEMBER GIRLFRIEND aka Wife BOOKED YOU already... The date "8TH OF MARCH"... REMEMBER!!

BOYFRIEND I LOVE YOU... I dun mind you showin anger to me... As from the past till now, I already used to it.. Although sometimes I might cry sercetly that you will not know... But I jus try to listen your anger and help you... I know my advices to you are not so good but I am glad that I can be the one who you like to talk to when you are unhappy...

Lastly, BABY... YOU are the only one seem so much important to me in my life now... Without you, I dunno I will be crazy or not... Or I shall be EMO forever... I know that you might not the perfect person to everyone but to me, you jus quite perfect to me but sometime you do have a little of weakness... And I hope you can jus change for me...

BABY I wan be to your EVERYTHING and it can be FOREVER...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠2:45 AM

Monday, November 17, 2008 ❤

17th of November... I have a few days not update my blog... Because my mind had been thinkin a lot a lot of things... I really dunno what is RIGHT and what is WRONG... Should I trust all the things that happen around me..?? I dun even have my own decision anymore... I LOST MY STAND...

Today quite HAPPY with BOYFRIEND... I do hope that everyday can be like TODAY... Eat Lunch together and go home together... So happy...I have been holding BOYFRIEND's hand after work to home and never let go... Because if I let go, I scared that I will lost her... I really dun wish to go home... Really dun wan because when I got home.., BOYFRIEND will not SMS me at all... That make me MISS HER so so much...

Am I really think too much..?? Is it BOYFRIEND does always LOVE ME that much..?? This few days I do find that one of her friends really getting stranger and stranger each day.. Last few days, this friend suddenly came down to buy food from us and now almost everyday... After the day when she started to talk to BOYFRIEND happily... Laugh and slap BOYFRIEND's hand there I start to find it more STRANGE...

I watch one of the show... The host said that if the girls might have little feelin toward that guys, the girls might laugh and try to like touch that person any part of their bodies...

Thinkin over and over again... And the next day after the day which action happen, I stood at the place where it is quite near to the lift at the MRT station after work... So surprisingly, I saw BOYFRIEND's friend jus finish work... She went into the MRT cable which when she arrive she could jus take the lift down... But she never stay at the cable...

However, she walked to the cable where I am... I was busily SMS-ing a SMS to BOYFRIEND... I did not even notice that she walked past me... I jus feel that she SUPER SHOW OFF... Because when she walk past me, she dun even stop in front of me and say "HI" to me...

Why do I find she very show off..?? Many days before., she bought something from me.. She jus like dun dare to face me at all... I gave her discount but she jus paid the money without discount, took her things and went off so FAST so FAST...

I know BOYFRIEND jus treat her as FRIEND... And also even tell me that she got BOYFRIEND already.. But I jus scared that she might snatch my BOYFRIEND away from me... I told BOYFRIEND that she might fall in love with her...

Why do I say that?? Because BOYFRIEND last time told me that once time when she call one place, her friend pick up the call... Actually, BOYFRIEND wan to find a another friend who workin at the same place as this friend... Heard BOYFRIEND said she dun miss her and this FRIEND can angry for a few months... FROM GIRLs' view, this prove that this friend might have feelin toward BOYFRIEND that why when BOYFRIEND said she dun miss her, she can angry for a few months...

Even me this Girlfriend, sometime will show attitude to BOYFRIEND but when stubborn finish, I will try to say SORRY to BOYFRIEND.. Jus dunno why can't control my stubborness...

Another thing is dunno is it really TRUE that BOYFRIEND's friend do have a BOYFRIEND... Because if got BOYFRIEND, BOYFRIEND sure show up to send GIRLFRIEND home or either meet up for meal... But I find it super strange is that Everytime I saw her went back home, she always alone and never even talk on the phone... So strange...

I know I talkin this topic at here may make BOYFRIEND think that I am thinkin too much but this is only from my own view... I jus simply feel that this is my VERY FIRST time have a lot of jealousy in a relationship... In the past, though my ex does a bit flirt but they won't forget to make me happy and also show other girls that I am their girlfriends... BOYFRIEND SORRY to compare you again...

Maybe I am jus thinkin too much... I jus wish that BOYFRIEND do make me feel LOVE by her always everyday or often SMS me when FREE only... If you can do it to me, I will not stop you to SWEET talk with other girls anymore... But sometime when sweet talk please know the LIMIT... The limit is that dun ever talk about R21 stuffs right in front of me with other females... I do HATE this a lot...

BOYFRIEND I miss you and I love you lot... I PROMISE I will try my best to give you my BEST to you...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:42 PM

Friday, November 14, 2008 ❤

14th of November... Feelin sleepy right now... But I have to update my blog regularly to keep BOYFRIEND update too... Hahazz... She has been readin my blog everyday during her 5 days LEAVE... Should that be TRUE..?? I dunno... Wish that my blog can take record down which people come into my blog regularly... Haha... I also wish to know which are my blog readers too...

Feelin so LONELY and also have this feelin of UNLOVE without BOYFRIEND around me for this LONG LONG 5 days... And so much happy that I get to see her later jus for a few hours... Wish that I can have a LONGER time with her... But I know god is really unfair and do not wan to fulfill my wishes.. MISS BOYFRIEND so so much...
SORRY BOYFRIEND sometimes I have being stubborn because I jus wish that you can have a little time more spend on me... And also do accompany me to go out for dates... We really LONG LONG LONG LONG time never go out together... I miss the time when we are watchin movie together... I know that nowaday you have been rejecting me.. It does make me hurt a lot.. And I do hope that I can know the answer why you keep rejectin me...

Is that TRUE that other people always say GUYs are always listen to GIRLs and always do whatever the GIRLs wan when they jus started the relationship ..?? But as the relationship goes LONGER and LONGER period.., GUYs will start to be cold to their GIRLs and started to show their TRUE COLOURs out... Showing their bad attitude to GIRLs... Is that the way of being a GENTLE MAN..?? I do wish to know are all GUYs always like that...?? Can someone please tell me the answer???

I really hope that I can dun always quarrel with BOYFRIEND... Because I always feel so BAD and so HURT... I do hope that BOYFRIEND can be more gentle man a bit... Do find sometime to chat with me when FREE... I hope to know her everything... Because in her life, she is way too much POPULAR... So many people really care about her life... And I dun even stand a chance to get near to her... And done the job of a wife should do... This is the WORST thing ever...
There are 2 movies which are my favourite I wish to watch.. One is SHOWING already and other one is COMIN SOON... I wish that BOYFRIEND can be more gentle man a bit... Date me out for any one of these movies or accompany me to watch BOTH also can... Anyway, I have been waitin and waitin since few months ago for you to date me out... Because everytime I ask for a date BOYFRIEND always find lot of excuses to push away my dates... Like "Not free", "SICK", and "Very Tired"...

From the start, when I heard these... I jus like OK lor... But when time get LONGER and BOYFRIEND keep using these reasons to me, I get sick and tired of it... And Get hurt damn badly... Thinkin back are you speakin the TRUE... Girls always get rejected will find that boyfriends are really got problems already... From the past till the last ex that I had, they always said to me that GIRLs should not always be so AUTO and always ask BOYFRIEND out... As it is their job to do, if GIRLFRIEND do le, BOYFRIEND will feel ashamed...
These are some information to the GUYs which I found in someone blog... And it is IMPORTANT to remember in the HEARTs...

１.她無聊時陪她
When she is lonely, chat with her...

２.她難過時安慰她
When she is sad, cheer her up...

３.男生要主動點
Guys should be more active..

４.多約女友出去
Date Girlfriend more oftenly..

５.不能讓女友主動約
Cannot let Girlfriend always date you out...

６.讓她每天都開心愉快
Let Girlfriend be happy everyday...

７.要好好對待女友
Treat Girlfriend preciously

８.順從女友的意
Follow girlfriend's thought...

９.不要讓她傷心難過
Dun make her sad and hurt...

１０.當她被欺負要立刻去保護她
When she is being bully, must protect her right away..

１１.不要隱瞞女友事情
Dun hide your everything to your girlfriend...

１２.不能背叛女友
Dun betray girlfriend...

If GUYs do all those things above, the GIRLs should be really happy and FORTUNE to have him to be their BOYFRIEND and also will feel touch and wish to be their FOREVER... That is what GIRLs always think toward GUYs...

Lastly, it is also IMPORTANT to believe and trust each other to maintain the relationship to be FOREVER... And in now my relationship really dun have enough trust and believe.. Because some time I believe her so much, my heart really hurt a lot a lot... I often cry because of her... She hurt my feelin and my heart when she did something bad toward me... I have been noticing it..

SORRY I am not tryin to make BOYFRIEND angry... I jus wan to speak out what my heart has been thinkin... And it is important for us to understand what each other think about each other... Although you know what I am thinkin about, I also wish to know YOURs... Jus sad that I dun have a time to know YOURs at all... I feel so UNKNOWN... I do wish that you can have your blog... And I do really dun mind you type all your bad thoughts on me to show everyone how bad I am or how useless girlfriend I am... Because I wan to change...
BABY... You have accidently crashed into my life and suddenly become my everything... I hope that I will not feel regret to be your everything also... And also please PROVE to me that it is not a WRONG choice to let me choose you as my HUBBY FOREVER... Promise me make me HAPPY to be with you... I LOVE YOU BABY!!

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:28 AM

Thursday, November 13, 2008 ❤

13th of November already... FAST FAST FAST... Goin to sleep soon... I think my handphone is gettin so EXTRA in my life nowaday... Because it is jus an useless item to me... Nobody SMS or call me for a chat... Sianz.. Now I only use handphone as alarm clock...

Yesterday (12th of November), I dun have work at all... And I have been stayin the whole day at home... Jus dun feel like goin anywhere... Sianz... Actually, I dunno what had happen to me nowaday... Had been wakin up from sleep...

Yesterday woke up early a little at noon because of BOYFRIEND's sms... So no choice had to reply... Or else she said me I DUN WAN TO REPLY... After woke up, sat in front of my laptop... PLAYed and watch videos for the WHOLE ENTIRE day...

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Some memories have been flashin in my brain... It hurts so so much in my heart... It jus like a knife being stab in my heart... I feel like cryin a bit... And in my brain, I keep tellin myself not to cry... Is not worth for me to cry almost everyday....

After watched the 棒棒糖 that showed online yesterday, I feel that some of them sayin are damn TRUE... OVERALL, Girls should not overly control all the guys' space by keep callin the guys' handphone or home call continously... Because they need some freedom too... But from girl's view, this is CARE and concern but if guys can properly tell girls that the guys will busy for a current period then girls will not always call...

I agree with 大牙 point... She said in anger that "How busy are you all guys?? Is it busier than those politics people..?? Girls callin handphone is a matter of concernin and care.. If you all (REFERING to GUYs..) dun wan your girlfriends to call oftenly then in the FIRST place, you dun need a LOVE at all... JUS call those chick (Like those girls at Geylang) hotline... They can made you happy whatever you wan..."

I also did agree with some guys' point... Last time I used to be the girls who always need guys to say SORRY to me when quarrel... But now no MORE... If I am wrong, I will say SORRY... I have been really mature in some way and also understandin startin from this year... Lettin my BOYFRIEND to do whatever she wan... Never ever stop her... As long as she is happy with it, I will support her...

These are the videos DEBATES between the GUYs and GIRLs during a relationship...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:02 AM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 ❤

12th of November.. I am bored at this timing.. I dun feel like sleepin early.. Have been playin some games at Viwawa Website... Mahjong, Match it and Lastly the Sushi games... Quite fun with the Sushi game.. I think I start to fall in love with this game...
After work yesterday (11th of November), went to buy Yogurt.. I bought 2 cups.. One for my family and the other is for me... I ate the Cappuccino Yogurt... It taste great because the Cappuccino taste cover the taste of the Yogurt... Equally match...

While eating the Yogurt, I was busily playin Mahjong with people I dunno online.. I hate this type of feeling... So sianz...

After that, I will not mention anything... Because thinkin back do make me HURT a lot a lot... I jus can't understand why dun BOYFRIEND put herself in my shoes... Is that always RIGHT of being IGNORING me always...??

Haiz... Jus hope that the Spirit of my BOYFRIEND can faster come back to LOVE me again... I miss her so so much... I dunno I can continue to be strong... Because everyday I become weaker and weaker.. Really have no more support from people...

I really dunno what actually happen to me... Is it I have not enough sleep at all?? Yesterday morning (11th of November), I had a cup of Coffee to keep me awake... But when after a few hours, I fell so sleepy and I wish I can jus sleep... I cannot really concentrate much in work...

After work during back home in bus..., I thought I will not fall asleep.. Yet brain keep thinkin about BOYFRIEND and did not realise I fall asleep in the bus... Bang againest my head to the glass again for more than 3 times... DAMN!!

I jus hope that I can be awake for the whole journey... I am so such a FAILURE... I AM REALLY TIRED... GOD~~ Can PLEASE PAUSE THE TIME..?? The time is really RUNNIN WAY TOO FAST.. I cannot catch up at all... Haiz...
Introducing this LATEST MV by Wang Zi from BANG BANG TANG...

This MV is not bad at all... I will rate it 5 stars.. This song had been appeared as my blog song before... Hope everyone still REMEMBER...

After watchin this MV.., I feel like cryin at the LAST part there... The story is like BOYFRIEND keep busy with his work and FORGET about his girlfriend... He even miss Girlfriend's call... And never pick up..

The WORST thing is that BOYFRIEND even MISS his own Girlfriend's birthday... Girlfriend celebrate her birthday by her own and recorded to let her BOYFRIEND see...

Lastly the best part is that GIRLFRIEND saw other girl huggin her own BOYFRIEND with her own eyes and run away... Yet never see what happen next... BOYFRIEND keep findin his GIRLFRIEND and also hug the same doll as his GIRLFRIEND huggin...

BOYFRIEND used the doll to say SORRY to his GIRLFRIEND... And in the end, they are back to NORMAL... BOYFRIEND never ever leave his GIRLFRIEND alone again...

I find that the meaning of this whole song is damn meaningful... I love this song so much like hell... Love the way how a BOY will say SORRY to a GIRL when he does not have the time for her... The BOY will even feel gulity toward a GIRL when he do not spend much time for her...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:51 AM

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 ❤

I can't SMILE at all... I MISSING my BABY every single days, every single hours, every single minutes, every single seconds... Without a day looking at YOU, my days turn so DARK so LONELY...
BABY YOU ARE MY ONLY AND ONE SUNSHINE... YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING... I NEED YOU~~!! I LOVE YOU.. Not jus for a while.. It is "FOREVER"...
11th of November... Damn FAST... Suppose wan to sleep early but end up still sleepin quite late... Argh... BORING... Yesterday (10th of November) work was jus SO SO... Nothing special happen... So nothing to mention much... Yesterday, the weather was really BAD like hell... But I love the weather for SLEEPING... Because Raining damn BIG... Haiz... Never sleep LONG enough very WASTED...

After work, went to bought a middle size of Yogurt because wan to bring home to eat after dinner... So decided to try the CHOCOLATE CHIP Yogurt.. After that, chat a little while with friend over there then went back home...

After dinner, ate that Yogurt while playing ONLINE Mahjong... The yogurt with the Chocolate chip taste great... Unlike with the BLACK FOREST that I tried last time... Black Forest taste not suit with the Yogurt... Sorry this is only my own view... ^^
Look at the BLACK DOTs... Those are CHOCOLATE CHIP... >.<
Later working morning... Damn... I almost forget that I working MORNING... Got reminded by other staffs that I working MORNING... Sianz... I did not always look at the scheme... I am so Dumb... Lolz...

Goin to BED now... GOOD NIGHT everyone...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:29 AM

Monday, November 10, 2008 ❤

Argh... I really cannot take it... Everyday seem so much tired for me... I have not enough sleep almost everyday I also dunno why is this happening to me.. Since the day I started to work, I feel that life is so TIRING... I trying HARD everyday to keep me awake... Even a bottle of coffee only keep me awake for a while then after a few hours I will feel tired again...

Yesterday (9th of November), when I was back home... I really cannot even keep myself awake... And I fell asleep in BUS again... Banging my head to the bus glass for almost more than 3 times and the sound of banging is quite LOUD... Think that sitting in of me the people will heard the sound... A bit Paiseh..

I really hope that I dun need to work and can get money easily... I know this is impossible... I really hope to know when I can enjoy my days... I do need some days to have FUN with the person that I LOVE the most or I needed...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:37 AM

Saturday, November 08, 2008 ❤

Back to blog again... I am really boring like hell... Sad... MISS MY BOYFRIEND so so much... I really dunno what she doing right now... I do hope that she can often SMS me, so I dun feel so WORRY... I really dunno why she dun like to SMS me... She jus like keeping a lot of things from me...
Today no work.. So can go out and play... Went out at 10 plus then took bus no. 502 to Orchard... There got a SERIOUS traffic jam somewhere at Holland Road... Jam for about 10 minutes... So boring... And cause me to LATE... Sianz...

Went there reached at Cine at about 11.24am... Then another friend who is meetin me also LATE... So suppose to plan to watch that Madagascar Escape 2 Africa CANCEL... Cause when we wan to buy the tickets is already 11.30am... So changed and watched THE COFFIN at 1pm...

After buying the movie tickets, we went to TAKA for lunch... Walked around the BASEMENT 2 deciding what to eat... Lolzz... So in the end, I chose the place where we eat... I treated him as before he treated me MOVIE... We chatted a lot our own stuffs and share our experience in work...

After that, we slack for a little while at TAKA... At about 12 plus, went back to Cine... To wait for time to past... And we went to buy some drinks for movie.. Went to Level 4 for the movie... Into the cinema, it was damn COLD like hell... Almost freezing to death... Lolzz..

We will being disturbed about 3 times in the movie because one of the aunty sittin right behind us the handphone never switch to SILENT... It is damn RUDE... Somemore still can talk so LOUDLY... OMG... Did she really know what is the rule in the cinema...??? If she dunno, NOW I TEACH... The main rule is NOT TO DISTURB OTHER AUDIENCE IN THE CINEMA WHEN THE MOVIE IS STARTED BY SWITCHING YOUR HANDPHONE TO SILENT MODE!! UNDERSTOOD!!??

I found that the effects of the movie is quite scary sometime... But the story in the end really not GOOD at all... Now I also understand why people will say that THE COFFIN movie is boring... Because the storyline is damn confuse by showing 2 different stories (Before 5 years and after 5 years) at the SAME time... Some more they did missed ONE PART by showing how the GIRLFRIEND die...

After the movie, FINALLY TOILET BREAK... Then went to HMV for a little walk... Then to FAR EAST PLAZA... Trouble him to accompany to walk around to find a suitable present for someone... But in the end, did not find anything to suit that person... Because see a lot of things but still think that all not so nice to that person...

So after that, went to ORCHARD MRT station to take train back... He dropped off at Woodland station then me at Jurong East station... I fell asleep when I was back home in the MRT... Because I am so so TIRED... Did not sleep early last night... Slept at 2am plus because waiting for BOYFRIEND to online as she promised me that she might be playin MAHJONG overnight.. Waited for her almost 2 hours... SMSed her to confirm that is she online-ing... But in the end, she did not reply me at all... IGNORE again...

ARGH... I HATE PEOPLE never reply my SMS... That make me feel that the person is so like BIG... But BOYFRIEND please change your attitude... Because I know that if I say you bad thing at here, you will damn MAD at me... But as your girlfriend, I must point out your weakness so you can change to the BETTER...

BOYFRIEND I know that you are tired... ALWAYS... I know that you still got your illness... And please dun always MAKE ME WORRY about you... Please dun always hide your things from me... Do you know that it hurt so much in my heart..??

You always complain to me that I never SMS you but even if I sms you, will YOU ever bother to reply..?? Even if I sms you and you never reply, you will complain to me that CAN I STOP SMS TO YOU.. You will feel disturb... I wish to know WHAT SHOULD I DO??

I do care for you a lot a lot... Even every of my friends know that I have been loving you so hardly like hell... I even scared that you might have not enough money to eat... You have been spending too much money on seeing doctors... PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY... It is important that your health come FIRST...

BABY I will be MISSING YOU VERY VERY VERY VERY BADLY this period... Because I am unable to see you 6 DAYS... OMG.. It is so so damn feelin uncomfortable... BABY if you free, please DATE ME OUT jus for a while in either one days of this 6 days... I do MISS YOU DAMN MUCH...

I really dunno how life will be WITHOUT YOU by my side... Without you reminding me a lot of things, I dunno I will still remember to do the things... Lastly, PLEASE RECOVER SOON... I MISS YOU BABY!! I LOVE YOU A LOT my DEAREST BABY!!

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:53 PM

❤

OMG.. Is already 8th of November... I can't believe my eyes... So fast.. Anyway, HAPPY 8th MONTH Anniversary to BABY & me... I dunno do she still REMEMBER... Because I hope that she can send me some wishes too..

Anyway, I did sent her a message at 12.08am jus now... Luckily I never FORGET... This date is too important like hell in my life... And I do never have a BOYFRIEND for a LONG period together before... She is the FIRST one to be my LONGEST relationship...

Jus now went to check some latest movie... And one of the movie COMING SOON do attract me a lot a lot... I am goin to watch it when the movie is OUT... It is damn FUNNY when I watch the preview... The movie name is called BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA...
Might be askin BOYFRIEND to accompany me to watch... If she cannot make it, then maybe I shall ask my friends, who those are really interested in that movie, to accompany me to watch.. Hope that this movie can faster come out soon...!! I can't WAIT to watch..
The PREVIEW

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:08 AM

Friday, November 07, 2008 ❤

Is already 7th of November... Damn fast.. And I am still online-ing... Later workin MORNING.. I think I will fall asleep again in bus later to work... Sianz...

Jus now the whole night have been playin MAHJONG... Hahazz... Played a lot of rounds with other strangers.. Yup.. Really fast game... I got a COMBO at the sudden won 4 rounds of the games but then lost again after the COMBO...

BOYFRIEND jus now ONLINE... Wee~~ Finally, she did replied me a few messages then OFFLINE again... Haiz... Anyway, Sweet dream for her.. And better wake up on time... I miss her...
You all know WHAT... She finally open her GOLDEN MOUTH and say that 3 HISTORY WORDS to me... I am so so HAPPY over the MOON... Lolzz... Thank for tellin me... I LOVE YOU MY BABY!!

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:17 AM

Thursday, November 06, 2008 ❤

6th of November... 2 more days to 8th month Anniversary to BABY and me... Think will not celebrate... How I wish I can celebrate but I think BABY willin to celebrate with me... If BABY can jus celebrate with me like have dinner with me, I will be really happy till I dunno am I dreamin or not...

Morning and afternoon WORKED... Then after work, went to IMM alone... Suppose dun feel like goin because quite tired and I am so alone... But when I was walkin to IMM, my brain flashin a lot of memories in my mind, till I did not realise that I have reached IMM...

Went to FACE SHOP... Bought the facial cleaner and also some cream to applied on my face.. This spent me quite a lot of money... But I dun feel regret... Dunno why... As long as I like it and useful...

After that, walk a little while then walked back to Jurong East station... Took my bus back home... I am damn tired to work morning... Dunno why... I always fell asleep in bus and I did not realise it.. Everytime without fail...

I am feelin damn sianz... I feel so alone everytime at anywhere... Dunno why do I have this feelin..?? Really hope that someone can ENTERTAIN me right now.. I do need someone to keep me accompany always... Talked about things in life... And I know the FIRST person will not SMS me is BOYFRIEND... Dunno why... Everytime SMS her about my problems, she will not reply at all... She jus read and delete... DOUBLE sianz... -.-"...

BABY remember what you have promised me today... When you recover, you goin to accompany me to go out... Make me happy... Dun ever BREAK your promise... I am waitin for you patiently from today onward... Hope you can recover SOON... I LOVE YOU...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:37 PM

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 ❤

5th of November... I am BORED... Now waiting for BOYFRIEND to entertain me... But I know she won't... Sianz... I do hope that she can always SMS me to keep me happy... I miss her damn much... Miss her huggin lot lot... The whole afternoon I only SMS her about 3 messages but none replied back...

Jus now have the feeling of playin some online game so went to Viwawa... The game that I have played LAST YEAR and stop playin for quite a number of months, and now play again... Feelin sianz if I am playin with Strangers... If with friends will be damn FUN... Dunno why...

Played NEOPETS for a while... Yup... A small kid game... Lolz... But it is to make me learn something from NEOPETS... Can learn how to make business... And be creative... Design your own shop to attract people to buy things from your shop...

What happened yesterday?? Mmm... I suppose wan to buy a cup of Yogurt from my new friend... But in the end, he said that he gave his share to me... So good... He said he treat me... I feel so bad when I got a FREE drink from him... Next time should treat him back... Or else like always take things for granted really feel that quite RUDE...

After work back home, we chatted in MSN messager about how life... Chatted a lot... Also chatted about how our Secondary school life... Lolz... At a sudden, we did felt that Secondary school is the BEST in all our life... Hahazz... Because that part of the life did made us learn to grow up a lot... Most of people in Singapore also think this way...

Today suppose plan to go out... But in the end.., NO... So sad... Because my godbrother got to settle the pay that he had owe people for a few months ago... Date BOYFRIEND out but in the end, she said she need to rest at home after work.. So no choice, the whole day have to rest home...

Haiz... At the sudden, I do really MISS my life a lot... Last time, I can always go out easily when I am FREE... But now.., NO at all... Even I am FREE, I also cannot find a FRIENDs to accompany me to go out or to catch a movie... I do miss my past life... I hate to have the life now... Is really FUCKIN stress and tired... Sianz...

People always said that I am EMO person... Hahazz.. I admitted... Because I always do have the habit of watchin movie alone or even go out shoppin alone... Actually, when I was alone, I do feel so LONELY like hell... I even can't find a friend to talk with.. When I have a problems, I do always keep it in my heart... I dun wan to tell BOYFRIEND also because I scared she will feel stress... I dunno is this right or wrong...

At here, I really have to say out... I do feel a lot of stresses and hurts... From last year till now... Because BOYFRIEND rather tell all her problems and everything to her BEST friend, who really bu shuang me a lot... And I am always left unknown... In the end, I always being said that I am not caring at all...

I dunno I am should be in fault... Many people have been asking me that why am I torturing myself and always being so foolish to make myself always get hurt... In the end, they added the same sentence is that as long as I am HAPPY, they will always support me... I am so glad that I have friends like you all... Thank for always keep me accompany when I am DOWN and givin me advices... I LOVE U ALL friends...

BABY I have to tell you that Not I flirt always... I myself also need FRIENDs like you... Jus that I dunno why my friends mostly are males.. Yet only a few of females... I find it difficult to communicate with females than males.. I find that communciate with males at least I know what the males are thinkin toward the females most of the time...

BABY I feel so lonely without your SMSes everyday... I miss the OLD time with you... I remember that everytime you will send me a SMS to keep me happy every single day... I am also feel so happy when a male come and make friend with me, and you started to mad at me... This shown that you care and love for me a lot and YOU are JEALOUS.. But I do hope that you can show me more LOVE... I know that you are tired but at least when you FREE, date me out like once a week... This won't take you a lot of time... Once a week is enough for me... I dun dare to request for anything else...

I hope that my comin birthday you will give me a surprise or celebrate with me... As it is my 20th BIRTHDAY... I hope that I can celebrate with my LOVED one... I am always lookin forward that one day I can celebrate with my BOY..

BABY I LOVE U... Not lie-ing to you.. Is comin out from my TRUTH HEART...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠5:33 PM

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 ❤

4th of November... Feelin quite lucky now... Because dunno why so suddenly some people wan to make friend with me... Hahazz... One is workin at LOT 1 now and other wan is my godbrother's friend...

Chatted with both of them jus now... Both of them are really nice... Although one look like ah beng but not bad.. Keep on chattin about our own products... Hahazz... Which is nice and not nice... The other wan is a GIRL.. She pretty and from Malaysian.. Workin in Singapore... Maybe meetin up with her really soon if I got the time...

Jus now chattin with that girl make me laugh... Thought that can see the webcam but in the end CANCEL... Dunno why... Her roommate who is a lesbian say I very CUTE and pretty... Hahazz... Actually I not pretty at all... Jus think this way... I am jus a NORMAL lookin girl...

Makin NEW friends do make me feel so so HAPPY... They do really brighten up my days... I love my life now... Anyway, I hope that I am changin to the one in the past.. CHEERFUL and HAPPY everyday... I wan back my OLD life... I need to move on to the BETTER future... I think I have been stoppin for a LONG time and not realising what had happen beside me...

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠2:31 AM

Monday, November 03, 2008 ❤

3rd of November... So fast.. Is already NOVEMBER... WORK??!! Dun wish to mention a single things at all... Mention about work jus simply make me think of a lot of unhappiness things... No good memories at there at all... I also dun wish to FIGHT for anything from there... WHAT FOR being so childish... Talkin bad things at the back of the people... This is WHAT I LEARN FROM THE PEOPLE from the work... I heard a lot of Backstabbing... That make me feel sad that what a NON TEAM WORK OUTLET OF ALL that I never ever met in my life... Sianz...

Heard a really BAD new.... Anyway, this BEST friend of mine... Dun ever THINK TOO MUCH... Dun ever END your life... Do you know you have become one of my very BEST friend..?? Without you., my life will turn dark... I never meet a friend like you before, so caring toward me... SORRY that I might ignore you sometimes because I am busy... PLEASE get well soon... I wan you to be happy again and never ever think of BAD THING again...

What more about LOVE.!!?? Mmm... Tryin to tell myself dun ever think too much EVERY SINGLE DAY... I dunno when I really cannot take it... I asked my every friends for advices... I even tell them my suitations now... Most of the answer get back are maybe my BOYFRIEND is tired and need some rest... Or else BOYFRIEND is sick and tired of me that why BOYFRIEND felt very unhappy when receive my SMSes or others...

I really dunno what answer to believe... From last year till now, I have been workin really hard to maintain this relationship to be FOREVER... But I only can see that I am the only one who is doin it... And BOYFRIEND??!! I dunno at all...

I have to be honest to you at here... BOYFRIEND I know you are readin... I know you and her VERY CLOSE... And I jus feel more like a OUTSIDER to you... The more she get closer to you the more she become more YAYA so PROUD... My sixth sense even told me strongly that she is the MAIN wall which is blockin me from gettin near to you... Every conversation that we talk in the outlet she jus wish to listen like that... She jus feel so unhappy when I and you in relationship...

I am sick and TIRED to fight with her jus because of you... If she wan you, FINE... I am really KIND... I will let her... I dun LOVE to fight with a BITCH... I do really mean it... If the person who really love me, he or she will let me win instead of that BITCH... Fighting with that BITCH really bring me a lot of STRESSES and I felt that I changed a lot since last time because of that BITCH...

If she continue to FIGHT, I tell you I will GIVE UP... I dun wish to fight with a BITCH who had not been growing up... And always being treated like a princess... Is not really worth it at all... I dun wan to waste my time on this... I rather MOVE ON... And look for a BETTER FUTURE...

ONE more things.. What my god brother told me that if the person do love me a lot and truefully wish to be with me, if I say BREAK to that person or hint the person that our love cannot be FOREVER., the person will try his or her BEST to patch back with me... And never ever let me HURT...

Nowaday, I have been noticing every single actions you do from you... I now still findin the answer... I hope that you can change... YOU are now in a DANGER suitation... PLEASE show me something before this DECISION I made is confirmed...

BABY I told YOU I LOVE YOU... Do you really LOVE ME..??

☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:10 AM