Friday, October 31, 2008 ❤
31th of October... I am at home now... Boring... Missin my BOYFRIEND right now... Jus now really did had a really great time with BOYFRIEND... How do I hope that everyday can be like today...
Worked morning... During work, I also did had a small quarrel with BOYFRIEND... But after that, back to normal... If other people at there, maybe we will not able to get back to normal easily... Dunno why...
When both of us are quarrelling, I really dun wish anyone to get into our quarrels... Because that person that get into our quarrels will make our relationship worst... Or even can make us break easily... That why I dun love people to get into it even if you are my friends, I also will fierce with you... I dun care wan...
Had lunch together with BOYFRIEND... Love BOYFRIEND have a little time to accompany me and eat together... And did a little mini shoppin in a GAME shop... Then back to work...
After work, we took cab back together... BOYFRIEND sent me back home first... Time really past damn fast... And we unable to meet again or eat together again due our time not meet... So sianz... I gonna MISS her damn much...
BOYFRIEND takin LONG leave comin soon... And I am gonna SIX LONG FUCKIN days unable to see her... It is like a week... I dunno how can I do... I feel so emo when I am unable to see her... I even not in a mood of workin anymore... I MISS HER... I hope this 6 days can past faster... I wish to hug her more often and hold her hand more...
Our 8th month anniversary is comin damn soon... As the same... We are not celebratin it... Sad... Do hope that we can take the same OFF day and had some fun outside somewhere in Singapore... Anyway, I will not forget the date that we had on BOYFRIEND's birthday this year... We went to Sentosa to tour... Hahazz... And BOYFRIEND came my house to stay overnight... Wee~~
I miss her sleepin look... Damn cute.. Though when she wake up she had a bit of bad temper.., But I love it to see that... She can show me how bad her temper is... I will not angry with her... She jus like a little baby to me... Hahazz... BABY I LOVE U... Hope I can spend overnight with you AGAIN...
Counting down to our 8th month anniversary ❤ 8 days
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:27 PM
Thursday, October 30, 2008 ❤
Today the whole day I am at home... Really nothing to do like hell... So surprisingly I woke up so early dunno why.. Maybe I cannot sleep well because of my nose blockin... I really cannot take it... Today feel like SICK...
My nose block become running nose... Argh... Then sore throat a bit better but sometime it jus get really disturbing... In the afternoon, I felt so cold like I wan to down with fever but in the end, NO FEVER...
Evening time..., Dierrea came back again... I hate it... I went into the toilet for 2 times only... Luckily now better... I really dunno what really had happen to me this few days...?? I am SICK yet nobody care... EVEN my parents... If like that, I really hope that I can die through this few days... THAT MUCH MORE BETTER...
I am missin my BOYFRIEND... Wondering what she doin right now... Yet I am jealous... You all know what.. I thought is her sister keep sms-ing to her... BUT I THINK I WAS WRONG... Is her friend... NOT JUS FRIEND... IS REALLY BEST OF THE BEST FRIEND... Same surname... That why I am quite mad that I cannot get so fuckin close to my BOYFRIEND...
I feel that in between us this BEST FRIEND had become the wall between the 2 of us... I wan to get closer but she BLOCK me... I am so FUCKIN sad... BOYFRIEND keep on replyin her sms yet IGNORE mine... In her heart, where do I stand..?? I know is never ever No.1...
I do need my BOYFRIEND to care about me this few days really badly... Because I am not feelin well... I need her care I need her message to tell me to RECOVER soon... I feel so TIRED... I really have no more strength to fight anymore... Now is only if BOYFRIEND can turn back and come to me to hold my hand to continue the journey with me..
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:04 PM
❤
30th of October... Yesterday (29 of October)., finally fell sick a bit after wakin up... When wakin up, I felt that my throat was SUPER DRY and a bit pain... And I dun feel like talkin... But I am glad that I had recover from dierrea...
During on the way to work, I felt like super sick... Because I felt that I wan to faint like that... Controllin myself really hard... I got a bit of nose block...
But after work..., it get even worst.. Because WORK give me sightly problem due to some reasons... Made me felt like my blood versel goin to BLAST in any time... And also I felt that my body is SUPER HOT till my head very dizzy... This is my very first time angry till until like that... Wah... But I will not blame that person because she always like that... NO CHOICE...
Back at home, my sore throat get even worst... And so my nose block too... And now I havin a bit runnin nose... Dunno I will down with fever soon.. This virus is from my Kor kor... He the one who spread the virus... Made me and my didi feelin sick right now... Sianz... I really hope I can get well soon...
I will post some random photos that have taken in the past... Not so long ago.. This month only... Had a gathering at Jurong Point Pizza Hut with them... Also had knew some news about other friends from Eric...
After that, we went to Coffen Bean to SLACK...
That is my Gan Didi... Always bully by me... But he is my listener... When I have problems, I always COMPLAIN to him... Friends FOREVER... 4 YEARS friendship still counting...
Hope that we can have more gathering again... I miss you all FRIENDs... Hope you all are doin FINE in whatever you are doin now... Though we can't meet everyday or chat everyday like when we are in SECONDARY school...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:27 AM
Tuesday, October 28, 2008 ❤
Back to blog... I am not feelin well from yesterday till today... Because I have eaten dirty food... It happened after I have eaten the POLAR chicken pie jus one piece... And went back home, I got dierrea... Till now not recover yet... Although I never often go to toilet, but the problem is that my stomach not in very good condition... It makes me feel uncomfortable...
Today met BOYFRIEND in work... I tried to control my pain in my stomach during work... BOYFRIEND did not show any action concern about me... She busily SMS-ing to people... This is how my BOYFRIEND always treat me...
I jus feel that BOYFRIEND is gettin worst... Treat me so coldly since 3 months... Rejectin my date 3 months... Never say the THREE Special words for 15 days.. Never kiss me or hug me for 3 months plus... Never give me a little surprise for 3 months plus... Never read my blog at least 2 to 3 days...
Last time, I remember deeply that when she bought the laptop, she will wan to always appear online to chat with me using MSN messager... And in the end, she never appear online for 3 days and if she appear online.., she jus never reply me a single message... At first when she got her laptop, she did chatted with me continuously for about 3 days like that... Then slowly no more...
I wish to let her know that why I am always havin a black face... BECAUSE I am angry with her... And this angry is JEALOUS... Why do she always makin me Jealous...?? Can't she dun always sweet talk about R21 matter to other people who are females...?? I feel so ashamed to talk about that topic... Is really sensitive to me... But since my BOYFRIEND love to talk about that topic, so I jus followed...
Talkin to other females about this topic do give me a VERY BAD IMPRESSION about that person... Is a little LOW CLASS... People should have respect between each other... Sayin their private things like makin love to other is a bit disrespect to other people... I hope BOYFRIEND read this PLEASE dun get angry... This is jus from my view...
BOYFRIEND now seem very dislike to SMS me some sweet messages like what couple usually send... She said that I am immature.. I admit I am JEALOUS that she kept on SMS-ing to her DEAREST sister... Because now in her heart, her sister is the most important than other her GIRLFRIEND... I dunno why...
I am stupid to think of that is once I went to her house to do the laptop settin up.. Then her sister and her sent me down to BUS-STOP.. Her sister keep on standin in between us and hold my BOYFRIEND's hand damn tightly like tellin me that "SHE IS MINE.. DUN EVER THINK TO SNATCH HER AWAY FROM ME.."
Then BOYFRIEND suddenly did something disrespect me... I hit her automatic quite hard... I did not do for purpose... In the end, I kena beaten by her sister said WHAT I BULLY HER... O man... She should get the fact right before hittin the people... BOYFRIEND saw it jus got shocked and ignore me the pain at my hand...
At the sudden, I felt a SUDDEN THUNDER flash into my heart... It so damn fuckin painful... I felt like cryin... But I cried in my heart... Both of them do look more like couple... I feel so like LIGHT BULB... I told my BOYFRIEND that I am jealous about her sister everytime... But BOYFRIEND told me what for to jealous... I am jus thinkin too much...
Saw something when I was so boring doin some blogs hoppin... Went into 洪诗's blog from 我爱黑涩会... I find this really meaningful toward LOVE...
In english, She said that if you love someone, you will dun care about everything around you and wan to be with her...
If you dun love her, you will try to find a lot of excuses to avoid her... But in the end, still will say something that nice to her and make her happy... But in the heart, the answer is very clearly stated... The answer is NO MORE LOVE FEELIN toward her...
Last time, I often dump my ex BOYFRIENDs easily and now I finally got my punishment... I realise that NEVER EVER TAKE LOVE FOR GRANTED... Yup I admit there is a small period that I flirt a bit... That is from the time I graduated from Secondary till the time I met this BOYFRIEND who I am havin now... Then I realise that what is TRUE LOVE... And I stop to flirt... I decided to fully concentrated on her and try not to let her suffer...
I quit school and fully concentrate on work 3/4 of the reason BECAUSE OF HER... I wan to let her have good life and I dun wan to let her suffer... I wan her to have a HAPPY life with me... I forgive up all my target too..
BABY I hope that you can understand... Please dun make me always jealous with you... I do hope that you can at least spend a little time with me when you are FREE... I miss the time in the past... I did had a VERY BEST MEMORIES with you in the past... I LOVE U LOT LOT 1314... Please dun ignore me... I miss YOU...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:27 PM
Monday, October 27, 2008 ❤
28th of October... Jus past 12am... I am seriously break down... I dunno who I am... REALLY... My head is feeling damn dizzy after had a HEAVY cryin from Lot 1 till home continously... I dun care about the people around me anymore... Because the tears from my eyes jus come out like the tap water...
I am now standin in the middle of two love roads... Hope I can decide an answer really soon... But I really kinda of scared to make the answer...
Thank for Eric Didi for givin me advices and listening to my personal real life stories... Heard about other people relationship... And did make me realise something important in LOVE... Didi make me understand that If you are eating with your BOYFRIEND or GIRLFRIEND.., no matter how bad is the food is, the food will turn out very nice to be eaten...
I am tired of workin... And this problem only involve me and BOYFRIEND... And I dun wan anyone from work to be involve with... If BOYFRIEND wan involve anyone from work, I am really not scared to say out our own relationship in work... Because it is my RIGHT to say as I am her GIRLFRIEND...
I was so surprised after work because BOYFRIEND did not care much about me... Because after work, she jus left me alone there... I felt like "WTF??!! Is this how a GOOD BOYFRIEND treat a Girlfriend..."
I really admire that in this world, all the BOYFRIENDs do pick up their GIRLFRIENDs from work and try to send them back if they are FREE... This is what BOYFRIEND's job... And also keep their GIRLFRIENDs safe in the dark night...
Everyday I have to wait for BOYFRIEND's SMSes.. Wait till my heart sink deeply in the sea... Lookin forward for BOYFRIEND date me out since 3 months ago... But in the end, no date from her... Make me feel so sad and thinkin that do BOYFRIEND still like to spend her time with me... Keep thinkin this make me went almost CRAZY... And I do feel stress that make me think that am I a PERFECT wife for her...
I scared I cannot really manage the stress anymore... I really kinda of dunno what to do... Whenever people see me sad sad or emo face, they will always ask me what happen... And I really cannot say out because of LOVE... I cry out automatic... People will feel that I AM MAD... I try to contol my emotion but FAIL in the end...
WHAT SHOULD I DO??
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:59 PM
Sunday, October 26, 2008 ❤
26th of October... My heart is bleedin again and again... SERIOUSLY... Sometimes I cry automatic without controllin when I was alone... I jus dunno why... Thinkin about how BOYFRIEND treat me now is seriously way too much of hurt to me... I am really seriously injuried... And still findin way to heal the injuries... I know this entry is TOO HARSH for my BOYFRIEND... And I also know that she will angry with me after readin this entry...
But I am jus sayin the truth out and anyway, this is my blog and I do have the RIGHT to say... Only this place can let out of my saddness, anger, happiness or others... I wish that every passerby-s can read my stories and I am tired to hide everything right inside my heart... The more I hide the more my heart hurt...
I miss how BOYFRIEND treated me in the past because only the past she made me feel that how importance she is in my heart... She made my day bright and happiness every single days... She care for me and whenever I need her I jus give her a call, and say out all my unhappiness... And she will keep listenin on me and cheer me up... Although she did not success but I know she did her best already...
She even tried to find time to accompany me from her busy and tight scheme... That why I love her so so much and unwilling to let go of her...
But now... I wonder why I still love her so so much... I love the BOYFRIEND's spirit already passed away... No longer in this world like that... This is how I feel nowaday... I know I say everything is no longer important to her le...
Now her another friend is most important in her life ever... Because she had give her the BEST OF THE BEST yet I can't.. Her best friend is an aunty... At this point, I LOST everything including LOVE... Because of the aunty's influence to her, BOYFRIEND did all the things whatever the aunty need her... I feel that BOYFRIEND is a PUPPET of being control by her...
I hate the aunty because in the past, she say me BAD THINGs right behind me to my BOYFRIEND... That what I say is INFLUENCE... And tryin to BREAK us up... BITCHES who try to break couple up will not have a good endin in their lifes... YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW... They will get their own punishment...
At this point, I feel so useless toward BOYFRIEND... I try damn hard to love my BOYFRIEND and keep the relationship goin... But I can't see BOYFRIEND doin it... I really feel so STRESSFUL... I even keep thinkin everyday how to make my BOYFRIEND being love by me more...
I try to date her out but in the end, I got rejected EVERYTIME... At the sudden, I feel so noob in the love... Last time, I dun have this problems... I hope someone can help me in this relationship...
I try not to be STUBBORN and be more understandin but in the end I still FAIL... I cry almost every single night because I am not the one that my BOYFRIEND wish to have FOREVER...
I try to SMS her almost everyday... Hope that she will talk to me more but I think I was WRONG... I feel so lonely and unlove...
Maybe I still love my BOYFRIEND jus because of her look, still look like the one in the past... I think I have being push out of her heart... Because she no longer say to me the THREE special words which means a lot to me...
My handphone had been damn fuckin quiet every single day... No more regular messages from her... NO MORE!! At a sudden, I feel that handphone is the useless item to me... Because I dun use it everyday...
How I wish the the old BOYFRIEND's spirit can be back again... I miss her so so much... I dun wan to lose her... I wan to take care of her FOREVER.. I wish to love her again like in the past... I wish that she can treat me like how she streated me in the past... WHERE HAVE HER OLD SPRIRIT GONE??? When the old spirit be back again...???
BOYFRIEND all I wan to say I do LOVE YOU way out of my limit... I dun care what people say.. I jus wan to be with you THAT ALL... I dun wan anyone to brain wash you!! I hate those people brain wash you...
Counting down to our 8th month Anniversary ❤ 13 days
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:49 PM
Saturday, October 25, 2008 ❤
Always be BEHIND you (BABY) and supporting you in whatever you did...
25th of October... I decided to delete the last entry... Because I think I am too much... Maybe jus mood swing and wish that people can have a little more attention on me... I have been transparent to people most of the time... I dunno why this happen to me...
I dun wish to think back anymore or look back the pictures that I had in the past... They do make me so heart-broken... I decided to be more open... I wan a brighter future...
Today is the worst day of all... Woke up quite strange... I slept early yesterday about 1am yet I woke up at 9 plus in the morning... And still very very tired... Even I wash my face already I still feel like sleepin and no mood at all to do anything... Dun even wish to talk a single thing right from my mouth...
A part right below my stomach feelin not damn well and I am feelin cold yet other people feel hot as for the weather today... I am a STRANGE person... And guess what my period came find me today... Haiz... Very sianz...
I think I have become a very very weak person... Because last time, I do not have any pain from my body before when my period come but when I start to step out to work, the pain start to come to me... I hate the pain... Everytime now I do need the pandol to control my pain... Without the pandol, I am unable to things smoothly or feel like movin around...
Anyway, I am SORRY to those people who I have treated for today... I am damn SORRY to show my bad temper... Because I really cannot control my pain... Specially my BOYFRIEND... Although I have been bent down to let my stomach there to feel better yet BOYFRIEND only told me to see doctor THAT ALL...
I thought that BOYFRIEND will try to concern me more but in the end none... I was WRONG... Jus that I am thinkin too much...
Anyway, BOYFRIEND I do hope that you can spend a little more time on me... I know I am selfish.. But I never resquest much jus once a week that all... Because spend time with my partner is really important more than other things...
BABY I feel so sorry that I sometime scold you for your bad points or some reasons... Do you know after scoldin you my heart feel so bad and gulity?? I scold you because I wan you to improve.. I dun wan you jus livin in a world with no surprise at all... I wan you to be outstandin... I dun wan you to be so dark...
BABY I LOVE YOU!!
Counting down to our 8th month Anniversary ❤ 14 days
BABY hope you have a little more attention on me though I know that you are a BUSY person...
I am EMO-ing... After cryin yesterday... A sudden break down came to me again for no reason.. I lost my smile...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:30 PM
Friday, October 24, 2008 ❤
24th of October... I suppose dun wish to post this type of entry on here but because of my BOYFRIEND wish to know so I post it... This dream is not the FIRST time I dream and I think this 7 months plus I have dreamt at least 3 times or more than that... I am really scared that it might happen one day...
But lot of people tell that dream is always opposite of real life... Really true or fake... I really dunno at all... I wish I can know what is goin to happen in future if gods do give me some hints...
BABY do you know that I wish to know how much do you love me..?? I very worry about your love to me... And this dream told me this... One of the day when you are with me in workin place.., a girl come down to find you without informing you... She came and suddenly made a lot of trouble there... And some more say that I am you 2 third party... My heart hurt so badly at that time... I felt like cryin...
I did not know that you have another girlfriend outside... I wish to know the whole suitation... But in the end, you hold her hand and took her away... What happen next I do wish to know about it... But too bad the next moment, I woke up...
On the 23th of October.., I become emo... I keep on thinkin do your heart still love me... Or did the dream is tellin me the truth about you..?? I really dunno what to do... I kept myself quiet and dun wish to talk to anyone else... I lost my smile on my face...
After work, you tried to talk to me about the teddy bear that you gave me... You told me you are jealous because I kept huggin it and kissed it almost everyday... Do you know that my heart told me that all the dreams are jus fake and I am jus thinkin too much... At the sudden I also felt being loved by you...
I do really enjoy every single seconds, every minutes, every hours when you are with me.. Although the time you spend with me is really not very long... How I wish that time can pause for a little while... Because I wan to record down every single precious moments that I have spent with you in my brain so that I can think back anytime when I am missin you...
I am so scared... I wish that you can use your actions to tell me your answer... I dun wish you to talk to me... Please dun mad at me when you know my dream... Because this dream really appear not only once in my life... And I do really care about this dream... It does really mean a lot to me...
BABY I LOVE YOU... Do you know that when I am typin this entry and listenin to the song that is played in my blog, I cried?? Because this entry is come out deeply from my heart... I hope you are my only HUBBY for life... I dun wan to lose you and I dun wan to share you with other people... SORRY for being selfish... And wish you understand my love for you...
Count down to our 8th month anniversary ❤ 15 days...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:34 AM
Thursday, October 23, 2008 ❤
23th of October... Mmm... Jus back home from work not long 1 plus hour... Today work was SO SO only.. Now watchin videos on 模范棒棒堂 新底迪初次淘汰賽 (上)... Really damn fast... Need to 淘汰 some new Didis... These Didis jus got into the show not long ago... Goin to 2 months only... This few days I also got watch the OLD didis show that have jus graduated not long ago... Think that they did a very good job to attract the audience to watch the watch by doin some very very LAME actions... But now the NEW didis still cannot do like OLD didis because they are still not very open and SHY...
Saw BOYFRIEND online... But too bad she was not talkin with me... Haiz sad... I miss her... Have been missin her every single seconds... I feel that if I never see her for a few days, I might not have any mood to do anything... I seem more not concentrate and easy to do things wrongly... Dunno why... And in my heart only keep thinkin that wish she will appear from my sight surprisingly... And I know this will not happen de... DREAM ON ME!!
Wonder what she always doin when she online... I really do hope that BOYFRIEND can date me out more oftenly... Because this few months onward, we dun really have a proper date at all... Ifreally got date, I also will not go Lot 1... Because if people who know my BOYFRIEND saw will not too good to her... Dunno why...
Every friends of mine really do support me to continue my relationship as long as I am happy with.. They do lookin forward to see my BOYFRIEND... My friends look more like my parents... Hahazz... Sometimes they do nag at me when I am hurtin myself... Or others...
I dunno what BOYFRIEND's friends think about me... I wish to know... But I hope they are not talkin bad things about me.. Other guys friend really jealous that my BOYFRIEND do have a very caring girlfriend and love BOYFRIEND deeply like me...
I do hope that what BOYFRIEND say in the past must do in future... I will always remember what BOYFRIEND have PROMISED me... If really break the PROMISES, I will hate her FOREVER and never be FRIEND again... This is what I have done to all my EXs... I have never ever talk to my Exs before... All 6 people...
Counting down to our 8th months Anniversary ❤ 16 days...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:34 AM
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 ❤
2nd Post of the day... Really boring... Thinkin of my BOYFRIEND what she doin right now... I miss her badly... Dunno why... I wish I can see her right now... I think she might scared of me if she keep seein me... >.<...
Playin THE SIM for a little while because no game to play and also no much videos to watch too... Gettin more and more boring when stayin at home... Argh... Stay at home is more like the prison...
Thinkin in future.. When it is my FREE time, I might type something interestin in my blog... Maybe is more about entertainment things... Hahazz... That my plan.. So I wan to attract more people to read my blog... Yea...
Playin THE SIM for a little while because no game to play and also no much videos to watch too... Gettin more and more boring when stayin at home... Argh... Stay at home is more like the prison...
Thinkin in future.. When it is my FREE time, I might type something interestin in my blog... Maybe is more about entertainment things... Hahazz... That my plan.. So I wan to attract more people to read my blog... Yea...
These are 2 photos that I screenshot with laptop when I am playin THE SIM... See there are two characters... Never FAIL.. Me and MY BABY... Hahazz... I always think that we can have our own house like this and nobody can come and disturb us... Maybe is impossible for us to buy a house... But I will try to work hard for money... Wee~~
BABY I LOVE YOU FOREVER... ALWAYS... My love for you is 1314... Never change..!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:20 PM
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21th of October... I BORED... Today no work... So relaxin today... Slept till 2pm then wake up... The LONGEST sleep of all in my life... Woke up eat lunch then sit in front of my laptop and start to watch online videos on Channel V... I love almost all the Channel V entertainment show... NOT BAD...
Mmm... When I at home, I dun really love to move around in my house because I am a LAZY person... Hahazz... I now listening to some random songs to make my FREE time past away...
Soon is goin to night again... REALLY fast then sleep time comin soon... Then tomorrow goin to work again... Really like so BORING life... Hahazz...
I am MISSIN my BOYFRIEND... Wonder what she doin right now... MISS HER every second... Really hope that one day she can be FREE again then we go for some outings... Or either some datings... I LOVE HER lot... Goin to our 8th month Anniversary soon in next month of 8th... SO FAST!!
Counting Down to our 8th MONTHS Anniversary ❤ 18 days...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠5:50 PM
Monday, October 20, 2008 ❤
20th of October... Yup.. VERY TIRED... Jus now at about 5 plus reach home then set right in front of my laptop which is jus beside my bed and fell asleep in sittin method... I did not realise I fell asleep till quite long about 30 min to 1 hour plus... I think I am too tired...
I dunno I am tired of what... Everyday work work work... So boring life... I gettin sick and tired of this life... I hope I can change my life.. These period I jus feel that I often feel tired so easily... Like always not enough sleep...
These period BOYFRIEND really happen too much of things... Also need to stress up a lot... I really quite worry her... I wish she can be STRONG... I feel so sudden useless because I dunno how I can help her... I AM SO A SHIT... My heart hurt so bad when my BABY is in stress in all these problems...
BABY I wish to tell you... No matter what happen, I will always there for you... I now dun care what people say about us because we are already being together for about 7 months plus and more like wife and husband... BABY I LOVE YOU lot...
And also I wish that Baby can faster recover from all those illness and be a healthy baby... No need to keep eatin medinice... GET RID OF THOSE DRUGs....
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠7:57 PM
Sunday, October 19, 2008 ❤
Back to post... Now is my 600 entries... Wee~~ Today got work... Morning shift.. Feel that quite a long time never work morning shift.. Did not sleep quite well because I slept on the sofa at my livin room as I dun wan to disturb my aunty... My aunty used my room to sleep... NO CHOICE...
Mmm... Woke up in the morning at about 6 plus.. Prepared to go to work... Work as usual... OKOK...Not mention about work too much or else will feel very sianz wan...
Today weather very bad.. Is rainin heavily and decided not to go for company BBQ... Hate BBQ during rainy day... Last time I kena once... This time I dun wan to suffer again... I also think that the company BBQ is not suitable for us the people who workin in the outlets... MAINLY aim is for all OFFICE PEOPLE... Because only the OFFICE PEOPLE suit the timin for the events yet the people workin in the outlets do not have those FREE time to go damn bloody far jus to have that BBQ... And next day still need to work like hell... Very tiring...
So decided to shop with BOYFRIEND at Lot 1 shoppin centre for a little while... Then went back home straight... I very good never go anywhere after work... I went back home straight because another reason is I am very tired after the workin... Dunno why everytime feel this way... Work is tough... Always must follow the rules given by the office if never follow maybe kena scoldin from them or other things ba... Not like last time so comfortable and relaxin... Aiya whatever...
Watched my last Ep of 黑糖群侠传... Feel that this story is too short wish that this story can at least has 20 EPs... Found that the fightin part is TOO SHORT like hell... Only spend about 3 minutes in fightin and not much of the main actors and actresses inovlved...
I suggested that the fightin part should show more... At least fight for 10 minutes with different actresses and actors...
I think Ya Tou acting skill did improve a lot... I love the part when she gone crazy and behavin like a baby because of her father... I cried when her father died... Yet Ya Tou still dunno that her father died right in front of her...
Overall, the show is damn nice... But I do wish that there should have at least a PART 2... I do look forward for more shows that acted by 棒棒糖 and 黑涩会美眉... Though their acting might not as pro like Rainie Yang or other people... But they do try their best to give the audience enjoy the show with laughter and tears... LOVE~~
Here are some photos about 黑糖群侠传 taken during the shootin of the show...
王子&丫头
阿緯&丫头
(The FIRST couple in the show... KISS KISS... Got one part in the middle is kiss part but the director decided to cut the part away... Dunno why... So sad!!)
小薰&小煜
王子&小薰
(The SECOND couple)
阿本&小蛮
(The THIRD couple)
小马&阿本
After watchin this show..., I feel so so tired... And also sleepy.. Still can fell asleep for a few minutes kneel-ing down right in front of my laptop... Really cannot open my eyes sooner or later... Later I will sleep early because tomorrow workin morning again...
AND I MISSIN MY BOYFRIEND... I miss the time with her again.. Haiz I wonder when I do have the time to spend some days with her... JUS the 2 of us... Suppose plan to have our own time in bookin a chalet but in the end did not success because of workin... We are busy people... NO time to have fun.. We are adults... Hahazz...
Anyway, BABY I LOVE YOU... I wish I can always hug you when I see you or kiss you... >.<... My one and only BABY.. No one can replace you or snatch away you from me...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:33 PM
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19th of October.. 2 more entries to 600 entries in this Blog... Mmm... I feel that my life is so meaningless... Feel that no more FUTURE...
Mmm... Think that my brain this period like very difficult to think and what to type in this blog... Because not much things happen everyday...
Suppose plan to type about my anger... But think back and realise that why should I waste my time on angry with her and make my body more unhealthy... Angry does make body unhealthy... As usual like what I always say, "大人不记小人过" or either "退一步就会海过天空"...
What I am doin... Now listening to some random songs in my iTunes.. Jus listen to some sad songs... I do have the feelin of crying... Jus dunno why... Feeling that I am tired of everything... I maybe selfish... Wish to end my life but think back there are still some other interesting things might be happen in the world in future in my life... I dun wan to miss it...
I do wish that BOYFRIEND can give me a hug to cheer me up... I do need this hug to continue my journey... As this hug does play very important part to me... It is a form of support and courage me to work hard in everything I do now...
I wonder what BOYFRIEND always do when she is at home... I miss her so so much yet I can't feel her at all.. It seem that person is too near and heart so far till I can't really reach it... I also do feel tired to hide the relationship from others.. If really one day, someone ask her "Do you have a girlfriend?" How will she answer.. Do you know that I am afraid to listen to that answer... Because if an answer "NO" really hurt my heart so bad into hell like that...
I also feel that lot of people do not really happy that if we are together... Specially people in work... They jus seem not happy... Once I get too near to her., the words from the people mouth do HURT me a lot.. I have heard some and my heart do feel so like TEARED already... And now I tryin really hard to be STRONG and make BOYFRIEND dun being influence by them or whatever..
I maybe be always happy outside but inside my heart is not really happy... I often cry alone when I was alone... And I do love to emo a lot... Thinkin lot of things what had happen in the past... And also think that is it a RIGHT or a BAD thing to me...
I FEEL SO EVIL AND ANGEL at the same time... I wish that I can know what thing actually I wan... I really confuse in my life... I do need someone to lead my way... BABY I hope that you are the one who understand me and try to make me know what is RIGHT AND what is WRONG... And also you are the one who is leadin me the way throughout this tough journey... BABY I do need you badly... HOLD me tight and please never let go of me!!
I LOVE YOU BABY!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:30 AM
Saturday, October 18, 2008 ❤
18th of October... Time flies really fast... November is coming really soon and then December... Realy busy till I never notice what date is today... I really forget how fun is like... Somehow I feel so stress up a bit about life when time goes by... Jus dunno what I am stressing about...
I simply wish that Time can STOP for a while because I need some times to rest and notice what has happen these period...
But afterall, life has been arranged by GODs... And we really cannot change the fate... I think I have been feelin quite lucky sometimes... Because GODs really do give me a quite good life... If I disobey the GODs, GODs will give me bad luck or some punishments in future.... So beware in whatever you do now or else you will never have a good life to live..
Mmm... What happen today... As usual... Wake up and go for work... WORK WORK WORK... Then work till night and went back home... Nothing really special... So lifeless... Hahazz.. But I am happy as I late for work... Because the bus came late and I also forgot to take things before leavin my house... I am so dumb...
People pls do date me up... Because I wan my life to be more interesting and Fun... If wan to go out with me, better check out with me with my OFF day... Or tell me when you free... So I will arranage a suitable time for us to go out and have fun...
Mmm... MISS BOYFRIEND right now... Think that she will not online.. Because she need to rest, so that she will able to wake up early and get to work on time... Mmm... Jus simply miss the time in the past when I always went to her house to slack... That time was my most happiest time... But now no more... Because her house too many people... I also dun like...
Anyway, I do hope that she can have some time to spend with me... Like watchin movies... I dun really mind although people think that watchin movies is jus too old-fashion.. Hahazz.. But I dun think is old-fashion... Because can sit side by side with my love one and watchin the movie in the dark...BABY I LOVE YOU LOT... I wish to spend my life FOREVER with you..
Baby this bear is like you... Always never leave me...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:12 AM
Friday, October 17, 2008 ❤
Helloz... Back bloggin... I finally changed my blog song... Because I feel that this song now really suit my mood for these period... However I also did tried to understand what the song is about...
對不起
多久了沒有你的消息 上一封簡訊是星期幾
又錯過了與你的約定 對不起真的不是故意
有時候沒辦法陪著你 你總是對我說沒關係
放不下我對妳的任性 對不起不該讓你傷心
有時候 你會讓讓我 儘管我大男人發作
有時候 你會裝作不懂 默默地 留一些空間給我
這些事情 其實 我一直都藏在心裡
請你原諒 我不懂逗你開心
請你原諒 我不懂聽你的心
回想這過去 我學著讓你更安心
別賭氣別任性別放棄 說聲對不起
請你相信 我我會更加珍惜 請你相信 我我會呵護著你
小小的愛情 卻是我最大的幸運
疼愛的 想念的都是妳
請你相信 一個這樣的我
請原諒我 對不起 對不起
I do wish that BOYFRIEND can be like the person in the song decribing the LOVE to me... This is what I call ROMANTIC... Though how busy she is, I do wish that she can realise that LOVE is also important... BABY ILY 1314...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:59 AM
Thursday, October 16, 2008 ❤
16th of October... I do MISS the life during my Secondary school time ONLY.. Because in Secondary school time, I do learn a lot a lot of things... Friendship, betray, God Sister and Brother Love, Stresses, Attitude and more more...
I miss the time when we often gather in a group when we are during recess time or either meet up to go to school or meet up to after school to have lunch together at the nearby shoppin centre, Jurong Point or Jurong East Entertainment centre...
I miss the school life... Especially the studies.. Though we really love to study and we even dun really care what teachers are teachin... But the most interest me is that some of the boys will always make fun of the teachers during class without fail which cause us a lot of laughter... Example the ENGLISH... Hahazz... We use our own Chinese version talking to translate into our ENGLISH compo essay..
I do MISS YOU ALL PEOPLE... Thank for makin my Secondary school life so interesting and fun... And I will try not to forget anyone of you who still contactin me... FRIENDS FOREVER...
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Back to the topic what I have done today... Mostly, TODAY is my OFF day... Hee heez... Love the OFF day... Because when I never go for work.., I feel that life is SUPER HAPPY and no need to worry about what like little kids... Jus eat, sleep and play... Got this type of feelin... And I feel so sudden of refreshment...
Yup had about 3 hours sleep only... Because I slept at 4am... Busy watchin Online Taiwan Entertainment show at YOUTUBE website... I simply LOVE to watch CHANNEL V shows... But say real some shows I dun really like it because those competitiors got SUPER BAD ATTITUDE and always take things for granted... The show name is 无敌青春克.. Somehow I also dun like the way that some of the judges judge them.... Very strict and never know what actually happen before sayin their bad points.. HATE the judges' sayin...
So woke up at about 8am.. Got prepared and went down to LOT 1 jus to settle that TROUBLESOME cake order... The customer is like damn BIG like a KING.. He said he did the cake similar at LOT 1 before and is about LAST YEAR... I was so like "REALLY MAH??"
However, the customers still said that the kitchen there is jus makin an excuse that they say that they cannot do... Is jus that they DUN WAN TO MAKE... This is how the customer said to me... I jus said O... Then I dun wan to reply back or talk to him anymore.. Because his requests are damn too much... Because of this order I kena almost scolded by T***...
That T*** wasn't listenin to me at all.. I talk until halfway... She still say "CAN U SAY CLEARLY..?" Then I say so clearly then she said "CAN U TALK LOUDER".. HEY HELLO WAT THE FUCK... If she cannot listen me, she should ask me to speak louder at 1st question not 2nd question... Act FIERCE SO WHAT... I know I not that BIG SIZE as her and also dun have the boobies size like her... At least I got a cert that prove that I am more cleverer than her... She only got BIG BOOBIES and no brain... FOREVER work in that place with so LOW PAY...
That time I already feel so STRESS UP and my voice wasn't feelin that well... I feel like SICK in anytime... Yet wan me to speak louder... I CANNOT DO THAT!! CHEE BYE!!
Whatever that T*** and customer spoil my half part of the day... Yup I admit I cry in the outlet because I have to come down to LOT 1 and settle that order on my OFF day... I know that NOBODY is willin to help me wan... Is better that to settle own thing by ourself without anyone help... At least in future will not easily relies on people.. BE RESPONSIBILITY in everything we DO always...!!
Everytime when I get scolded by people I will easily cry.. I cannot really control my tears from droppin.. Like a friend say me that I am too emotional... Yup I agree that too... Even when I am listening to any SUPER sad chinese songs like "被你爱过我很快乐" by 卓文萱 or "FOREVER LOVE" by 王力宏, my brain will start to flash back all unhappiness memories... Or either I watch a SUPER SAD movies or shows like "10 Promises to my Dog" or "王子变青蛙"... And in a few minutes, my eyes will feel with tears and my face will look super sorrow or EMO... This is my weak point... After cryin, I feel so much better... Is like re-born to the world again... That why I have serious short-term memories(STM) problem...
Rushed to Level 5 for the movie, "武侠梁祝" (BUTTERFLY LOVERS) at 11am... FIRST SHOWIN slot at Lot 1... Woo~~ Not much people... About 10 people in the BIG cinema... Some people even skip school and come and watch... I saw a few.... This movie is really worth to watch... VERY TOUCHIN and funny in some part...
I miss the time when we often gather in a group when we are during recess time or either meet up to go to school or meet up to after school to have lunch together at the nearby shoppin centre, Jurong Point or Jurong East Entertainment centre...
I miss the school life... Especially the studies.. Though we really love to study and we even dun really care what teachers are teachin... But the most interest me is that some of the boys will always make fun of the teachers during class without fail which cause us a lot of laughter... Example the ENGLISH... Hahazz... We use our own Chinese version talking to translate into our ENGLISH compo essay..
I do MISS YOU ALL PEOPLE... Thank for makin my Secondary school life so interesting and fun... And I will try not to forget anyone of you who still contactin me... FRIENDS FOREVER...
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Back to the topic what I have done today... Mostly, TODAY is my OFF day... Hee heez... Love the OFF day... Because when I never go for work.., I feel that life is SUPER HAPPY and no need to worry about what like little kids... Jus eat, sleep and play... Got this type of feelin... And I feel so sudden of refreshment...
Yup had about 3 hours sleep only... Because I slept at 4am... Busy watchin Online Taiwan Entertainment show at YOUTUBE website... I simply LOVE to watch CHANNEL V shows... But say real some shows I dun really like it because those competitiors got SUPER BAD ATTITUDE and always take things for granted... The show name is 无敌青春克.. Somehow I also dun like the way that some of the judges judge them.... Very strict and never know what actually happen before sayin their bad points.. HATE the judges' sayin...
So woke up at about 8am.. Got prepared and went down to LOT 1 jus to settle that TROUBLESOME cake order... The customer is like damn BIG like a KING.. He said he did the cake similar at LOT 1 before and is about LAST YEAR... I was so like "REALLY MAH??"
However, the customers still said that the kitchen there is jus makin an excuse that they say that they cannot do... Is jus that they DUN WAN TO MAKE... This is how the customer said to me... I jus said O... Then I dun wan to reply back or talk to him anymore.. Because his requests are damn too much... Because of this order I kena almost scolded by T***...
That T*** wasn't listenin to me at all.. I talk until halfway... She still say "CAN U SAY CLEARLY..?" Then I say so clearly then she said "CAN U TALK LOUDER".. HEY HELLO WAT THE FUCK... If she cannot listen me, she should ask me to speak louder at 1st question not 2nd question... Act FIERCE SO WHAT... I know I not that BIG SIZE as her and also dun have the boobies size like her... At least I got a cert that prove that I am more cleverer than her... She only got BIG BOOBIES and no brain... FOREVER work in that place with so LOW PAY...
That time I already feel so STRESS UP and my voice wasn't feelin that well... I feel like SICK in anytime... Yet wan me to speak louder... I CANNOT DO THAT!! CHEE BYE!!
Whatever that T*** and customer spoil my half part of the day... Yup I admit I cry in the outlet because I have to come down to LOT 1 and settle that order on my OFF day... I know that NOBODY is willin to help me wan... Is better that to settle own thing by ourself without anyone help... At least in future will not easily relies on people.. BE RESPONSIBILITY in everything we DO always...!!
Everytime when I get scolded by people I will easily cry.. I cannot really control my tears from droppin.. Like a friend say me that I am too emotional... Yup I agree that too... Even when I am listening to any SUPER sad chinese songs like "被你爱过我很快乐" by 卓文萱 or "FOREVER LOVE" by 王力宏, my brain will start to flash back all unhappiness memories... Or either I watch a SUPER SAD movies or shows like "10 Promises to my Dog" or "王子变青蛙"... And in a few minutes, my eyes will feel with tears and my face will look super sorrow or EMO... This is my weak point... After cryin, I feel so much better... Is like re-born to the world again... That why I have serious short-term memories(STM) problem...
Rushed to Level 5 for the movie, "武侠梁祝" (BUTTERFLY LOVERS) at 11am... FIRST SHOWIN slot at Lot 1... Woo~~ Not much people... About 10 people in the BIG cinema... Some people even skip school and come and watch... I saw a few.... This movie is really worth to watch... VERY TOUCHIN and funny in some part...
So on the day of the Weddin, 祝言之 poison herself and ate that pill which make her fake death... In the end, all of the people thought that she was DEATH... And no matter how tough or danger,梁中山 must have 祝言之's Body and must burdied at the Butterfly village which is the place where the 2 of them LOVE and also where they always dream of each other standin there waitin for each other...
In the middle, there are a lot of FIGHTIN... 梁中山 was seriously injuried in the end and managed to bury the body at Butterfly Village and He die... Lie-ing jus beside 祝言之... When their 师弟们 found them... It was too late... They help them to cover... This time 祝言之 come back to life after the effect of the pill... She said one thing that really TOUCHIN was that "大师兄 你等我"... Endin both of them die together like a pair of BUTTERFLIES... Nobody can separate them anymore...
After movie, it was about 12.41pm only... So I walked around the shoppin centre... IN AND OUT then went back to level 5 again... Set there more than 1 hour... I guess so... And went to Level 1 again... Because I waitin for BOYFRIEND to meet up for LUNCH... While waitin, I feel that my gastric a bit pain... I am so weak person... Haiz...
So met up at 3 plus with BOYFRIEND and have lunch... I ate quite fast because I AM HUNGRY... I never eat my breakfast and lunch... After lunch, BOYFRIEND went back to work... And I continue my journey... Walked to bus-stop to take bus no. 190 to Orchard...
Orchard was in SUPER SUPER HEAVY rain.... And I got wet too... A bit... Not too much... Only went to Taka... Bought the things I wan then went back home by MRT.. Suppose plan wan to go FAR EAST to shop for new shoes or clothes but cause of HEAVY RAIN, never go there... Sianz...
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Tomorrow I am WORKING... Very sianz... Because I dun like to work le... Everytime go there... Then so many dramas to watch wan... And I gettin sick and tired... When I at work, I damn no mood like sometime very EMO... Then like feelin that LIFE IS USELESS... No fun... Not meaningful at all... Haiz...
I jus wish that everyday can be a very FUN AND INTERESTING day for me.... With nothin to bother... Nothing to stress with...
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
LOVE.. Mmm... BOYFRIEND is back to work again... WORK like there is NO tomorrow... WORK so long hour everyday... Even dun really bother about her own body... I dun like her to work like that... I jus wan her to work like a NORMAL person...
She also a HUMAN BEING... Do has feeling and also a LIVING THING... She does feel TIRED and lazy... I jus dun believe that why does the company still give lot of works and lot of STRESSES to the people from the outlet wan...
Anyway, I do wish to have more time with her... And hope that we can have more dates like in the past... Now BECAUSE OF WORK, we really dun have a date at all... That why I always MISS HER SO SO MUCH... Not jus a little is A BILLION TIME OF MUCH...
This type of feeling is really easy to let me feel so JEALOUS and worry that she might sick and tired to love me and regret to be with me... I wish to hear her callin me "DEAR" like last time... I miss her sleeping face though I really dun mind her BAD ATTITUDE when she jus wake up... She think is bad but I think is CUTE!! Hahazz... Like BABY!!
Now I am waitin for her to online... I wish that she can faster online and see what I have type in this BLOG.. BABY YOU ARE ALWAYS MY HUBBY!! NOBODY can replace YOU in my this HEART ❤~~ Muack a kiss from me to YOU BABY!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:45 PM
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 ❤
Back to blog... Mmm... Today feel that everything was great... I started to feel that If I dun get angry easily or sad.., life is really wonderful and FUN... Though I cannot really fulfill my childhood dream which is how I wish I can be a singer to sing every sad and happy songs to everyone... I love to sing songs and now I have learnt a lot of what type of emotions from every songs that I hear...
And now I have changed my target... My now new target is to earn as much money for future... Because I wan to let my HUBBY to get a better future... I dun wish my HUBBY to suffer with me... I wan my HUBBY to be happy...
Today BOYFRIEND did not sms me the whole day... I MISS HER SO SO MUCH... Tomorrow I tryin to ask her to meet me for lunch... But she still dun reply me that she meetin me or not... I wonder what happen to her... Jus feel that worry about her... I now really hope that she can faster online...
I know that maybe is impossible.. Because she might be asleep.. I miss her so so much... Without seeing her a few moment.., I really feel so sad... And also lonely.. I wish to hug her forever and kiss her... I wan to hold her tight and never let go...
I will be MEAN to people who tryin to snatch her away from me or either STOP me from lovin her... Now I already being mean to a person who tryin to lstop me from gettin near to her... I wish that the person can stop her action or else I will start to take my revenge...
BABY I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:47 PM
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15th of October... I think I am gettin OLD... My bones are damn old... Because on 13 of October, I worked quite long hours, after a few months did not worked that long, and on the 14th of October my knee joint old injuried start to pain again... I really cannot walk properly at all... I jus bear with the pain...
But after the few hours, my pain in the knee joint not so pain... I dunno should I wear the protecion for my knee joint on today later for work... I jus scared that my knee joint there will pain again...
Tomorrow I am goin to OFF... FINALLY... I think I need some LONG sleep after tirin work.. Jus dunno why everyday not enough sleep... I jus wish that I can have the magic pill that can always keep me awake everytime when it is needed...
I am really happy that I have been noticin the number of time that my blog views by people ... Finally, it reach till 10,000 plus plus... Coolz... I wish that I can one day 100 views can le... Hahaz...
Mmm... Already 4 days never see BOYFRIEND... Really do miss her so so much... No mood to work again... Whole brain was thinkin about her again... I have been so LAZY in work... Haiz... Hope that later in the afternoon I can be more hardworkin...
RUBBISH talkin... I dunno what to talk liao... I shall end here... Anyway, I have no more interest about any other guys... I do hope that my relationship now can be FOREVER... As I wish my BABY can be my only and LAST HUBBY... BABY I LOVE YOU!! Muackx~~~
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠2:03 AM
Monday, October 13, 2008 ❤
13th of October... 2nd day never see BOYFRIEND... Really feel quite lonely at work... I miss her so so much... Dunno what she been doin all the day... Really keep me a little worry... For the whole day of work, I think I did not fully concentrate because my whole brain was thinkin about BOYFRIEND...
Mmm... Really dunno what to type today... Because there is really not too much things happen today...
Aaaa.... BOYFRIEND did not really sms me too much today... I tried to date her out but really have to wait for a LONG LONG LONG time for her to reply or either she will not reply me at all... So I only can ask her face to face when the next time I see her...
I do wish that I can have a chance to date her out like in the past... I miss the time almost everyday went to her house to slack...
This entry feel so not in a point... Dun have a target... But anywhere, I MISS BOYFRIEND so so much... Please do SMS me more often... I LOVE BABY FOREVER!!~~
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:55 PM
Sunday, October 12, 2008 ❤
12th of October... Wee~~ Love my life as in for today only... Jus dun love to work... Wish to change a BETTER job... Work from 8am to 4pm... Then went off on time... Because meetin friends at Jurong Point...
So suppose BOYFRIEND comin along but in the end she never come... So jus forget it... Then went to Jurong Point bought the presents... After buyin presents, went to POLAR to find the aunties... Talked about a lot of things about work... Yup all the staffs feel the same regarding toward the office... We also find that the products are gettin bad to worst.. Especially some of the foods can easily change the colour and look not so fresh jus within one day... People also complain that the food not FRESH at all... But all the food jus came in not long and we really did not keep that long... Customers said that it is OUR FAULT to sell not fresh products to them...
Stayed there and chatted with the aunties for about 1 hour... They all asked me better dun work at POLAR... Better go and find a better job and higher pay... Worked in POLAR will not have a BETTER FUTURE... Yup I still thinkin which type of job interest me... So that I can work like FOREVER...
After that, met up all my friends... Went to PIZZA HUT for dinner... Wee~~ Really had lot of fun chattin with them... Talkin about the past and present of our lifes... Hahazz... Spend $104 on our 6 persons meal... We also take some group photos together...
After that, we went to COFFEE BEAN to chill... Set outside first because inside too many people... Then chatted and takin photos... SLACKING~~ Laughin like nobody business... Then next we went inside the COFFEE BEAN...
Bully ERIC to take funny photos... We all laughin loudly... And like everyone was like lookin at us to know what happen... Will ask the photos from Wei Ling soon... Because the photos are taken from her camera... Will post the photos at my blog soon once I receive the photos...
Slack till 10 plus, went back home... Now we are plannin for our next outing... K BOX... Wee~~ Maybe is K GOLDEN because most of us are workin or studyin, so only will be FREE in the night...
BOYFRIEND now has been readin my blog... Hahazz... HEY BABY pls do tag me on my tag board.. Hahazz... BOYFRIEND I am not goin to see you for 5 days... I do feel so so SAD... I do hope that we can be like what the normal couples do... When free then meet up... Not free then FORGET it... Hahazz...
I miss out the fun and happiness that we had together in the past... I always remember how you say "I LOVE YOU" to me in the past... I always remember how you look like when you jus wake up.. YOU do look cute and handsome to me... Nobody else can compare with you... Hahazz... BABY I LOVE YOU!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:47 PM
Thursday, October 09, 2008 ❤
Back to update after a long event outside... Jus now went to Sentosa to attend my cousin's wedding... And because of this I had to change my OFF day from Wednesday to today... Yet about 2 people in the outlet were quite unhappy with me of changin my OFF day... I have no choice... And I have reminded them one month ago that I need to take off on 9th Of October... I dun really know what they wan...
People wedding we cannot change the date for them and they should know this... I have been talkin nicely to my BOYFRIEND that I need to OFF because my cousin wedding, and also need to give face for my cousin...
Can't they jus understand my reason..?? I treat them good and help them when they are in need but in the end what I gain back was jus HATE ME!! If they really do wan to be so mean like this to me, WHATEVER to me... I will not care and be bother them in FUTURE anymore...
Today I change my hairstyle... I feel so a little refresh... I feel like startin another life style... I also feel so unhappy... Because I keep sendin SMSes to BOYFRIEND and what she replied me in anger tone was 'CAN YOU STOP SMS ME.." What the hell she treatin me now??
Scheme is all she plan by herself then still wan to put fault at other people... I do hope that I dun wan to speak any bad things about her at here... She jus not as simple person as I think... In the past, she really did quite lot of negative things.. She did borrowed something from me and never return to me again... Because I know her stage now so I jus FORGET it and no need to return me...
Am I too OVER SOFT-HEARTED to her..?? I dun really know at all... I also dunno do she still love me as much like last time..?? Or she has fall in love with other girls...?? I jus hate to see her always SWEET TALK with other girls... And also keep tellin other girls that she has no Girlfriend during work...
I am really feelin damn TIRED... I feel that I wan to GIVE UP... I hate the way now she treatin me... Sometimes so care and love for me and sometimes so cold to me... I really dunno how much she still love me... If I ask her do you love me, she will replied "Since you dun believe me, we better break.." She always told me this... And in the end, I told back her that "Always say break mean you never really love me seriously..." Then she keep quiet and never replied anything at all...
I felt so heart-broken... Should I jus continue this relationship?? I really wish that this relationship can be FOREVER... But it seem that I was WRONG.. I jus hope that she can know what her mistake... If she does really love me lot, she always hold me tight and never always let me feel so unhappy or jealous with her... I have been givin her lot of chances.. More than 5 chances...
But overall, I do scared to lose her... I dunno why... Why does she suddenly become part of my life so importantly and without her one day, I might feel that this world is ENDED for me only?? I do have this type of feelin... What should I do NEXT!!???
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:59 PM
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9th of October... Yesterday was 8th of October... And also Baby's and my 7th month anniversary... Guess what... Nothing surprise at all... I did sent a SMS at 12am yesterday to wish BOYFRIEND our 7th month anniversary... Then went to sleep..
BOYFRIEND did not reply or wish me at all... She everytime like that... Only the 4th month anniversary did wished me ONCE... Others dun care much le... I wonder what really happen to her..
I told her if she does love me then she must wear the ring... And she wore the ring but in the end, always never SMS me... I am feelin quite sad... I wonder where I have done wrong...
Yup I admit that I always JEALOUS... Because everytime other females sms her she will reply quite quickly but as for me, she ignored... She is not the one that I love the most in the past... In the past, she always SMS me without fail.. Told me everything... And also told me to MISS HER...
I everyday type my love life story at here jus because that wish that one day she can see this and understand how I feel for her everyday.. I have been sendin a lot of sms per day about how my love for her... Jus to wish that she could reply me "I LOVE YOU" that all... Because these 3 words really do mean a lot to me...
It is already 3 MONTHS that she did not tell me that she love me... I feel so like I force her to love me... I really kinda of dunno what to do... Friends have been tellin me that I have already give my best to love her as much as i can but she dun care... And one more thing I dun wish to hear is that from my friends is "What worth for me to continue to love her?"... When I heard this, I blurt into tears...
It is really tough for me to love her... Because our relationship must hide in the dark and dun let anyone know.. Always cannot get too near to each other when we are at work.. When people say about my BOYFRIEND with which girls, I must try not to be ANGRY or JEALOUS at all.. We cannot hug, kiss, hold hand or others together like a couple does when we are in the same attire...
I have been tryin hard enough to keep this relationship keep goin... I try to listen what BOYFRIEND wan and need and never disobey... Never ever show my bad temper to my BOYFRIEND but only BOYFRIEND can show... This is my rules to myself...
Why do I have this head pain quite often..?? The main reason is very simple because everyday have to worry about BOYFRIEND about her health... And also worry that BOYFRIEND might sick and tired to LOVE me...
On the 7th of October, I felt quite happy because I told my BOYFRIEND I havin gastric pain during work.. After work, BOYFRIEND bought something for me to eat... That really do make me high over the moon... And BOYFRIEND also did sent me back home by cab...
During the journey, we really did a lot of stuffs to talk about... I am glad that I do have a little time to spend with BOYFRIEND... The time was like went back to the past that we had ever...
I guess I do need some times to know what BOYFRIEND's heart is thinkin right now.. I do also need to know how much she still LOVE me.. I always wish that my BOYFRIEND can be the ONLY And LAST LOVE for me... I hope that she understand what I have been thinkin and know that what every SMS that I sent to her everyday... I LOVE HER more than I LOVE MYSELF...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:22 AM
Wednesday, October 08, 2008 ❤
HAPPY 7th MONTH ANNIVERSAY TO BABY & ME!!
Baby I Love You lot... It really being a hard time with you for this 7 months.. If we never break and patch back again, this might be our 1 year and 2 months together... But I do feel bad when I break with you last year... I know I never being so understanding and always being stubborn and quarrel so much... Because I am do really jealous that other people dun feel happy when I am so close to you... I do feel so sad... I dun have a chance to get near you when we are outside... People tryin to stop us everytime when we being so close...
Baby without you, I dunno how I will be... I have really puttin lot of effort to love you... I really love you out of my limit which I dun do it in the last previous relationship which I had in the past... You are the FIRST person who really let me learn a lot a lot of things... I become mature because of YOU...
YOU are the only reason that I am livin in this world.. I am here to give you care and love.. I am here to look after you for the rest of your life.. PLEASE do believe and trust me... I will never leave you alone... I PROMISE..
I wan to be your BEST wife...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:48 AM
Monday, October 06, 2008 ❤
WORRY WORRY WORRY..!!
BOYFRIEND had been sick for a week... And still not recover... I really feel that I am a failure that I really cannot take care of her personally... Everytime sure got people in between tryin to STOP us... Haiz...
I now really dunno what to type... Jus only can wish that BOYFRIEND can get well soon...
BABY I LOVE YOU!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:03 PM
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6th of October... Time really being so FAST... It is goin to be end of December really soon... I am lookin forward for Christmas... Although there is no snow in Singapore... But I love all the songs of the Christmas...
I wonder can I have a Christmas party... Or can I spend my Christmas with my BOYFRIEND for a holiday in Singapore..?? Though we dun have money to go out of this Singapore... I miss the time when we have 3 days 2 nights livin in hotel jus the 2 of us... I remember we went quite a number of places... NIGHT SARFARI and also catch a movie in the midnight before goin back to the hotel for sleep...
That was my BEST memories of all in this relationship... Now because of this work, we do not have really much time to spend time together for some dating... I do hope that in future we can have more dating together again... I also do hope that BOYFRIEND can get well soon and also be healthy always...
Mmm... Work has been really a mess... Because this period, in my work really happen a lot of unhappiness cases which I really dun love to mention... Because everyday I always try to stay out of the unhappiness matter but jus that the another party jus dun wan to forget the matter and keep on show some FUCKIN attitude to me... I feel that the person is damn CHILDISH... How I wish that she can grow up...
A 50 year old plus people can angry with a person who is 19 year old who is me for a LONG LONG time... I already dun mind about the matter but that person really mind about it and still angry... All my friends think that she is very WU LIAO...
I dun really know what the HELL she is being thinkin... If I am not so really kind, I will ask my BOYFRIEND be mean to her... But now I never let my BOYFRIEND to being mean... However, I even let my BOYFRIEND to help her...
I even really FUCKIN jealous that she can care and concern more than I do... And what more she still wan..?? If she wan my BOYFRIEND to break with me, I will never PROMISE... If she really wan like that, I will take my DOUBLE REVENGE and PLAY with her to know what is HELL like... I will do so and now I AM REALLY SO DARE!!
I jus hope that BOYFRIEND can always dun listen to her... Because I am still BOYFRIEND's wife after all.. I jus wish that my BOYFRIEND can dun always get so influence by her and also dun always took advantages from my BOYFRIEND... I HATE HER when she is makin use of my BOYFRIEND...
She is FUCKIN not happy that I have my OFF day once a week... But my BOYFRIEND did not have... What for so unhappy..?? If she really so heart pain about my BOYFRIEND then she can please let my BOYFRIEND off and she work la... I need my OFF day to rest because I am not fit like last time... And I do feel dizzy oftenly... If I continue to work non-stop without rest, I will always eat PANDOL like sweet to control my head pain...
I AM SO PISSED OFF by her sayin to my BOYFRIEND about the scheme... WHY DO SHE ALWAYS GIVE SCHEME PROBLEMS TO MY BOYFRIEND?? Last time she also the one who say so LOUDLY that SHE DUN WAN TO WORK WITH ME.. Now still unhappy with I work so less time yet BOYFRIEND work so LONG HOUR... WHAT THE FUCK DO SHE REALLY WAN??
She jus think that she is the PRINCESS in the outlet... That is what I always think because she really take her own sweet time doin her work when busy hour time... Yet other like us will survive and try not to let other customers complain for waitin too long... I have been said by customers becuase of HER... Customer complain that they have been waited so LONG FOR Their turn... But I am not in the wrong because I servicin other customers... Yet the customers still think that I am in the WRONG...
BECAUSE OF HER, almost all the customers not happy with my service... I am really TIRED of this job... I have tell everything to BOYFRIEND but BOYFRIEND seem dun listen in and continue to help her... Almost everyone in outlet scold my BOYFRIEND of being STUPID to keep helpin her... Because she always buy everything to my BOYFRIEND and my BOYFRIEND being so guai and eat whatever she bought... And this become that she is makin full use of BOYFRIEND... WHAT A REALLY CLEVER IDEA SHE GIVE!!
I do wish that I can faster leave the job and dun wish to face her again... Jus lookin at her face really let me think of the MONKEY BUTT... OMG!! >.<... Yup yup... BITCHY!! Hahazz... I am EVIL girl... I jus cannot control myself...
Anyway, I wish to FORGET her also... She jus makin my life so MISERABLE...
I miss my BOYFRIEND soon... Because I dun stand a chance workin with her in future... SO BORING!!! Sianz... Maybe I will wait my BOYFRIEND to finish work to see her always... That the only way that I will not always miss my BOYFRIEND...!! I LOVE HER LOT!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:17 AM
Saturday, October 04, 2008 ❤
4th of October... This few days really happen too much of things... Too much of surprises too... Mmm... This entry might be LONG...
On the 2nd of October at night, a not fully BLACK cat appear in my house from no where... The door was close but I dunno how the cat come in... The cat looks damn fat... It is like someone pet... Somemore it shit in my house... Damn dirty... The cat dun wan to leave my house until I call my father carry that BLACK cat out of my house... I hate this cat appear in my house in the middle of the night at 1 plus...
On the 2nd of October at night, a not fully BLACK cat appear in my house from no where... The door was close but I dunno how the cat come in... The cat looks damn fat... It is like someone pet... Somemore it shit in my house... Damn dirty... The cat dun wan to leave my house until I call my father carry that BLACK cat out of my house... I hate this cat appear in my house in the middle of the night at 1 plus...
But on the 3rd of October in the morning, another grey cat appear outside my house... It keep wandering outside my house and dun wan to leave... Dunno why... The cat looks hungry.. Because the cat damn skinny... The cat dun have tail...
When I went out of my house, the cat like my pet like that.. Keep goin around my leg... I was so shocked... Then I took out my handphone to take the cat photo but when I went at a distance to take, the cat walk damn fast to me... Like wan me to care and love for it...
I went down to level 1 for work... Then the cat also follow... But too bad that the cat stop at level 2... And dun wish to go down to level 1.. So I hack care the cat and went for work...
I wonder tomorrow what colour of the cat might appear outside my house again...?? Hahazz... It seem so cool that so many cats appear outside or inside my house... It is like MAGIC...
4 more days to Baby and me 7th month anniversary... Really being to hard time to being together with BOYFRIEND for 7 months... This is my LONGEST relationship that I ever had...
During this 7 months.., we had lot of quarrels... BIG and SMALL too... And during this journey, many people might be unhappy for us to being too close... I jus dunno why... When I am too close with my BOYFRIEND they jus like not so happy and make me like angry... SPECIALLY my BOYFRIEND's best friend...
She is such a BITCH... Have been sayin that why always call BOYFRIEND's ex.. Or whatever her ex name in front of me... I hate people sayin this right in front of me... I cannot say too much of her ex thing in this blog because of some work reason.. Actually, my BOYFRIEND call her ex is to ask about work things... And I do have the STRONG feelin that her BEST FRIEND might tryin hard to break us up...
I am SUPER JEALOUS that why her BEST FRIEND always treat my BOYFRIEND so good... Buy her dinner and even help her everything in her work.. Care and concern her like a family member RIGHT IN FRONT of me...
BOYFRIEND's best friend treat me as transparent... Always talk to my BOYFRIEND and have fun with her only... Everyone in the work hate BOYFRIEND's BEST FRIEND... Because she do everything so FUCKIN slow like hell... She even dun wan to serve customer when busy hour time and do her own work so slowly like hell...
Yet in front of my BOYFRIEND, hardworkin like hell... WOW... I am so SURPRISED!! I know whatever I tell my BOYFRIEND she will not listen because she only listen to her BEST FRIEND only... I think that her best friend buy everything for her because her best friend might wan to take advantage of my BOYFRIEND... I feel that BOYFRIEND is so STUPID..
I jus hope that BOYFRIEND can wake up because I scared that BOYFRIEND might get betray by her best friend if one day BOYFRIEND position being lower...
Whatever.. Dun wish to talk about her BEST FRIEND anymore... It jus make me so PISSED OFF... Anyway, yup I bought the 7th month anniversary present for BOYFRIEND... I ordered at COUPLE LAB shop about 6 days ago... And finally I got to collect the present yesterday...
The present is the couple RINGs... And I do hope that BOYFRIEND can wear to work everyday so that I will feel that BOYFRIEND love me a lot whenever I saw she is wearin it... This is how to show love to someone...
I went down to level 1 for work... Then the cat also follow... But too bad that the cat stop at level 2... And dun wish to go down to level 1.. So I hack care the cat and went for work...
I wonder tomorrow what colour of the cat might appear outside my house again...?? Hahazz... It seem so cool that so many cats appear outside or inside my house... It is like MAGIC...
4 more days to Baby and me 7th month anniversary... Really being to hard time to being together with BOYFRIEND for 7 months... This is my LONGEST relationship that I ever had...
During this 7 months.., we had lot of quarrels... BIG and SMALL too... And during this journey, many people might be unhappy for us to being too close... I jus dunno why... When I am too close with my BOYFRIEND they jus like not so happy and make me like angry... SPECIALLY my BOYFRIEND's best friend...
She is such a BITCH... Have been sayin that why always call BOYFRIEND's ex.. Or whatever her ex name in front of me... I hate people sayin this right in front of me... I cannot say too much of her ex thing in this blog because of some work reason.. Actually, my BOYFRIEND call her ex is to ask about work things... And I do have the STRONG feelin that her BEST FRIEND might tryin hard to break us up...
I am SUPER JEALOUS that why her BEST FRIEND always treat my BOYFRIEND so good... Buy her dinner and even help her everything in her work.. Care and concern her like a family member RIGHT IN FRONT of me...
BOYFRIEND's best friend treat me as transparent... Always talk to my BOYFRIEND and have fun with her only... Everyone in the work hate BOYFRIEND's BEST FRIEND... Because she do everything so FUCKIN slow like hell... She even dun wan to serve customer when busy hour time and do her own work so slowly like hell...
Yet in front of my BOYFRIEND, hardworkin like hell... WOW... I am so SURPRISED!! I know whatever I tell my BOYFRIEND she will not listen because she only listen to her BEST FRIEND only... I think that her best friend buy everything for her because her best friend might wan to take advantage of my BOYFRIEND... I feel that BOYFRIEND is so STUPID..
I jus hope that BOYFRIEND can wake up because I scared that BOYFRIEND might get betray by her best friend if one day BOYFRIEND position being lower...
Whatever.. Dun wish to talk about her BEST FRIEND anymore... It jus make me so PISSED OFF... Anyway, yup I bought the 7th month anniversary present for BOYFRIEND... I ordered at COUPLE LAB shop about 6 days ago... And finally I got to collect the present yesterday...
The present is the couple RINGs... And I do hope that BOYFRIEND can wear to work everyday so that I will feel that BOYFRIEND love me a lot whenever I saw she is wearin it... This is how to show love to someone...
The WHITE BEAR..
The Rings inside the WHITE Bear..
I gave the white bear inside with the ring to her... She jus said to me that why BLACK colour.. Anyway, I hope that she do really love it a lot.. Because this is my very first time buying ring for my BOYFRIEND...
Lastly, BOYFRIEND is SICK again... I do hope that she can really get well soon... Tomorrow I will not able to see her... As I am resting at home... Haiz... I LOVE HER FOREVER... I wish to be with her FOREVER... I dun mind suffering with her... I dun care how poor she is... The most IMPORTANT is that we got our own happiness together..!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:26 AM
