Saturday, May 31, 2008 ❤
I cried like someone had jus pass away like that.. My tears come out from my eyes non-stop... Can say that I even cannot stop the cryin... Cryin for about 30 minutes or even longer... BOYFRIEND did mention about break... But in the end, we did not break... As I knew that we still love each other deeply...
In the end, BOYFRIEND still manage to make me feel love by her... On the 30th of May, we did a little not happy.. A little of quarrel in the morning... That time I was in school... I manage to control my tear from comin out from my eyes... I force myself to smile to everyone that I met in the school in the morning...
Actually, quite most of the people know that I am really damn sad that I wish that not to meet them... But I promise my friend to be there so I have to follow it... I dun like to break my promise... I am glad that one of my friends asked me about my relationship and I knew that that person have been readin my blog... Anyway, I wan to tell that person THANK for concernin me... Keep on readin my blog and lookin forward for your tag...
This is the bear that BOYFRIEND gave me... It is SO CUTE to me... The words on the heart "I LOVE YOU".. BOYFRIEND tell me to notice that 3 words importantly.. BOYFRIEND I LOVE YOU TOO...
Went to work in the last minute inform by my BOYFRIEND... Jus dunno what happen... So went back to help... I am happy that BOYFRIEND still Love me... She bought me a little small bear for me to make me happy... I love that bear so much... I am sorry that I always the one who make her angry... But I am willin to become her perfect wife... I will learn whatever I can to be one...BOYFRIEND... MICK LAO GONG.. YOU are the only one that I love the most.. I promise to love you forever without any regret to being with you.. I will not break your heart easily... YOU are always no.1 in my heart... No one else can replace your place from my heart... I LOVE YOU MICK LAO GONG..!! ❤❤❤
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:59 AM
Thursday, May 29, 2008 ❤
Back to blog... Now I am really cryin.. It seem that I am always at fault in everything that why BOYFRIEND always wan to angry with me... And I really dunno what is the main reason what she angry at in the first place...
Is it we really mean to be break soon..?? I really dun wan... Because I love my BOYFRIEND so deeply until I dun wish to leave her alone... I think I need to think about what her heart really do feel about me...
Jus that I can feel a bit is that I dun become an important person to her anymore... Everything that I done wrong she will always angry with me... I know I am a trouble-maker to her... And always kena scolding by her... I dun even feel that she does care for me a lot... Eveytime make me jealous without knowing my feelin... Thinkin that I am not so serious with her...
Say real... If she continue like this, my feelin for her will slowly turn lighten... And I might slowly become a 2-timer, which I dun wish to happen on me... I dun wan to become that type of girl...
Anyway, Thank for Kang Shen who I actually know him a long time from MSN... He is such a nice guy... Jus now keep chattin with me through MSN... He even joke with me, which bring me laughter...
I jus wish that everything will be solved by tonight... I dun wish to drag the whole matter for a few days... I HATE IT!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:27 PM
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29th of May... My Father's BIRTHDAY... My father already damn old le... Goin 60 soon... Hahazz... Old man... Yup great that can be like so hyper sometimes at home...
Yesterday I dunno what did I do to BOYFRIEND... She had not SMS me from yesterday evenin till now... It is already 12 hours plus no SMS from BOYFRIEND make me damn worry for BOYFRIEND.. Is she mad at me or what??
I miss BOYFRIEND very badly... I had been sendin lot of SMSes to BOYFRIEND yet no reply from her... Is my handphone got problems?? I have been switchin off and on for a few hours.. Argh... I feel like goin down to Lot 1 to take a look at BOYFRIEND...
BOYFRIEND please dun ignore me... I really need BOYFRIEND badly... I even miss BOYFRIEND everyday, every hour, every minute or even every second... Life will get very DARK without BOYFRIEND...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:57 PM
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 ❤
28th of May... My father's birthday is comin soon which is tomorrow... Quite lookin forward because my older brother is treatin us the whole family to Jade restuarant... To me I think I quite dun like... But also cannot reject.. I have not buy any present for my father... Maybe shall be buyin today...
Yesterday was quite a worst day to me because I have been feelin giddy for the whole day... Jus dunno why.. Maybe my body is quite weak... Or drink not enough plain water... Say real I really LONG TIME never drink plain water... I have been drinkin soft drink or the green tea everyday... Hahazz..
Today no work... And I jus woke up not long ago... Now is 12.58pm... Wee~~ Later maybe goin out with BOYFRIEND after her work... Now waitin for her sms... Jus hope that she faster sms me... Lookin forward that she can meet me...
I can say that BOYFRIEND like really change a lot in her attitude to me... Because last time if I made her angry and she can angry like hell, and said wan to break with me or treat me very coldly and we quarrelled in the end... But now she will not... If she angry, I try to tell her dun angry... And after a few minutes, she will not mad at me... I am really happy about her attitude to me...
Now I can really put my whole trust on my BOYFRIEND... Because she had proven to me that she really put me in her heart as No. 1... I LOVE HER.. I love to hug BOYFRIEND tightly because her body is jus right for me... Really comfortable.. Hahazz... NOBODY can say she FAT... She not fat she jus fat at that certain period because she eatin medinice... She will become thin again...
BOYFRIEND no matter what things happen.., I will consider BOYFRIEND because I dun wan BOYFRIEND to get hurt... BOYFRIEND always no.1 in my heart... PROMISE!!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:52 PM
Monday, May 26, 2008 ❤
26th of May... Another day had past... Yesterday was 25th of May... Damn fast... A few more days to June... Had worked in the morning... Work was quite fun because I got the chance to work with the people who I love to work with... No need to see other people face black black or what...
After work, went to toilet to get change to outside clothes... Then wait for BOYFRIEND SMS... Waited for BOYFRIEND more than 2 hours... I walked the whole building of Lot 1... And decided to wait at the cinema there... Read my book and played tennis in my handphone until BOYFRIEND came...
After meetin BOYFRIEND, went to Orchard by bus no. 190... Drop off at Orchard and went to TAKA... Orchard was damn CROWDED.. I saw a lot of MAIDs shoppin.. OMG... Went to Seoul Garden in the TAKA for our dinner... Really Ex in eatin that 2 person about $60... So we share the bill... We ate until our stomach get Blurst soon...
After meal, we went to Cathay for a movie named CHOCOLATE... During our way, we had a lot of fun in makin fun of our stomach... Looked so Big like pregnant... Hahaz... Bought the movie tickets at Level 5 Cathay... Then faster went to Level 9 to get into the cinema..
Man... The movie was almost FULL HOUSE... A lot of people watched... The movie involved a lot of fightin... And it is very violence... A lot of the people got really serious injuried during shootin this movie... They really bleed... The blood is REAL!! OMG~~
After movie, BOYFRIEND sent me home... We took bus no. 502 back to Jurong West... So sweet of her... Hug her in the lift and also had a mouth to mouth kiss before leavin each other... We do like husband and wife... Hahazz... Really hope that we do have our own FUTURE... I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:49 AM
Sunday, May 25, 2008 ❤
25th of May... Comin to June soon... Really fast... Mmm... Quite some time did not really update... Have been workin almost everyday... Regret of studyin poly... I think I should study ITE instead... Because ITE life mayb a little suit me... But I noe is too late...
Jus now work again.. From 3pm to 10.30pm.. Work was ok... Mmm.. BOYFRIEND was workin too... Hee heezz.. Got to see BOYFRIEND... Love her...
After work, BOYFRIEND sent me home... Did not go out anywhere because BOYFRIEND was damn tired... Tomorrow is BOYFRIEND off day... Maybe goin out with BOYFRIEND after my work... Long time never really have a proper date with her...
I also quite lookin forward to July as will be celebratin her birthday... And also will be stayin with her 3 days 2 nights at the hotel again... Hahazz.. Miss her...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:08 AM
Friday, May 23, 2008 ❤
23th of May.. Did not really know that it is already goin to the end of May... Today did not go to school... Hee heez... Jus feel like I am in the holiday period... Hahazz... Next week I guess I might go to school on Tuesday and Wednesday only... Because these 2 days are so call quite my favourite day... Or mayb not...
Later goin to work again.. Hee heezz... After work, will be goin to Jurong East Entertainment with BOYFRIEND for a movie...
Actually, I finally know that I have done wrong... BOYFRIEND really LOVE me a lot.. She jus scared that one day I might dun wan to be with her... In my heart, I will not love anyone else in future... And I promise to stay by her side forever... Till the end of the World... PROMISE!! I will not break the promise..!! I LOVE HER!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠2:58 PM
Thursday, May 22, 2008 ❤
22th of May... I dunno what really happen to me today... I jus feel that there is no more soul in my own body... Feelin also quite restless... Did not really manage to sleep well yesterday... Because keep thinkin about BOYFRIEND..
I am SORRY if my BOYFRIEND really angry with me... Yesterday BOYFRIEND was talkin on the phone for so so LONG with her that BEST FRIEND, which I dun like her so much, kept me aside quiet and lonely... I started to become EMO... That time I jus simply hope that can HER BEST FRIEND shut her BLOODLY mouth and let me have more time with my BOYFRIEND... I really do need the time with her...
During work.., her that BEST FRIEND keep stickin my BOYFRIEND... Where ever my BOYFRIEND stand, she will stand very really close to her without fail... O man... Who is YOUR GIRLFRIEND...?? Whenever I say something bad about her BEST FRIEND, BOYFRIEND will surely get angry about me... I am really dunno what to do...
Somemore., my feelin is tellin me that BOYFRIEND's BEST FRIEND is like tryin to break us up and tryin hard to patch back BOYFRIEND and her ex, who is workin in the company office... I am gettin more and more stress... I start to lose confident on BOYFRIEND... Everyday I keep worryin about this problem...
Not long ago, BOYFRIEND sms me that that ex and the area manager know what bad things BOYFRIEND had done without any notice from her... BOYFRIEND told me that there is a spy... Actually, I told back to her that that person should be really close to these 2 people... First thing in my mind that come out the spy might be HER BEST FRIEND... Reason is she really damn close to those 2 people... I feel that one day her BEST FRIEND might betray BOYFRIEND... I really dun wan this thing to happen..
Whatever... Why can't BOYFRIEND sense that I am really jealous in front of her...?? I really dun understand... BOYFRIEND please do understand me and dun mad at me... I really need BOYFRIEND badly.. Without BOYFRIEND, my life is really totally darkness...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:47 AM
Tuesday, May 20, 2008 ❤
Back to blog again... Now I feel so so so SIANz to be alone in my room... My parents now at the living room keep watchin the news about earthquake in China again, again and again... Wah makin me so BORIN like hell... Keep listening to those sad and emotion songs will make me feel sad and become emo again wan... Can STOP playin all that CHINA news... ARGH...
Whatever... That why I keep stayin my room and dun feel like goin out of my room.. Jus now watched that Andy Lau movie, Zai Shuo Yi Chi Wo Ai Ni.. Yup it really a very nice and touchin movie.. Watchin that movie did make me feel like cryin out..
Today I very guai... After school straight went home.. Never go out anywhere... Today somemore is my OFF day... No work today for me... Hee heez... Supposed wan to pon school during 2nd break but did not really success because of my team... Runnin short of people to act... So I stayed back till school end..
Today never meet BOYFRIEND... Really do miss her a lot... We never meet each other but we did still SMS to each other.. Hahazz.. BOYFRIEND really CUTE... LOVE HER lot...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:51 PM
❤
20th of May... Back to school again.. I jus kinda of feelin that everyone is like treatin me as stranger in the class... Jus dunno why... I think today shall be my last day of school and I will not come to school again...
I enjoy life workin with my friends as they dun left out people so easily... Because together we really got gone through all the emotion... We happy together, sad, angry or whatever emotion... Jus simply cannot bear to quit my job... The only reason might I can't control was that the Office staffs... In this year, a driver told us that all the old office staffs have resigned and now all are the new wan... Wah that was horrible... Almost all resigned... Dunno what is the reason...
Yesterday work... Not so bad... Spent lot of time in the outlet to pack the old boxes and plastic bags for returing to STORE after the workin time... After work, went for dinner at Jurong East Entertainment with BOYFRIEND... Ate McDonald.. Because that is the only restuarant opened... So we had no choice...
After eaten, BOYFRIEND sent me home.. We took cab home as it was really late at night about 12 plus midnight... We still SMS-ed each other during 1 plus in the morning... Hahazz... I really do LOVE BOYFRIEND a lot...
To me... BOYFRIEND is the most handsome person and she is really CUTE.. Love her deeper than last time... PROMISE not to leave me and dun care about what people talk about her... I LOVE BOYFRIEND FOREVER.. ^^
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠8:37 AM
Monday, May 19, 2008 ❤
19th of May... BOYFRIEND jus left my house not long ago... Yesterday did went to work.. After work went out with BOYFRIEND for a movie... Yup BOYFRIEND was workin together with me... After that, we went to Jurong East Entertainment centre for movie...
Took MRT to Jurong East Station then went straight to KFC for dinner... KFC was filled with lot of people.. Then after KFC, went up to the cinema there to collect our booked tickets... We watched that Malay Horror movie named "Congkok"...
Went into the cinema and surprised to see that the cinema was filled with lot of MALAY.. Really difficult to spot a person who is not MALAY at all... Lolzz... Another thing was that the movie was FULL HOUSE... That mean all the seats in the cinema was taken... OMG... We can say that we were the 1st group of CHINESE to be in that movie first then lately another group of Chinese joined in the movie... Hahazz.. We are not racist people... Wee~!!!
After movie, went to rush for the LAST BUS (Bus no. 334)... Yup BOYFRIEND finally agreed to stay at my house for one night... Because I dun wan BOYFRIEND to take cab or wait for night rider for so LONG...
Back to my room... I had fun through the night sleepin with BOYFRIEND... Hee heezz... Never really sleep almost the whole night... Because can finally hug BOYFRIEND... Most of the time I did not have the chance to hug my BOYFRIEND at outside because we were in uniform and somehow people always use the STRANGE feelin lookin at us which we dun like it at all...
Woke up together at about 7 plus in the morning... And started to have a little chat between the both of us... BOYFRIEND supposed wan to left my house at 6 plus in the morning but she said she wan to sleep somemore, so I let her to sleep...
At about 9 plus, she left my house... She was afraid to face my mother as my mother does have a fierce look... I do agree too... I hate the way my mother look at my BOYFRIEND... Argh... But no choice must bear with it... Because she is MY MOTHER... How I wish that she can dun be my mother... Hahazz... So that I have more RIGHT in what I wan to do and who I wan to LOVE...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:15 AM
Saturday, May 17, 2008 ❤
17th of May... Yesterday 16th of May.. I did not go to school... Hee heezz... Woke up at aout 8am... And gettin ready by 8.30am... Went straight to IMM for breakfast... Had breakfast at Burger King...
Next went back to Jurong East station... Took bus no. 105 t0 Ghim Moh... Reached there at around 10 plus... Waited 1 hour plus at BOYFRIEND's house downstair... Next accompany her to see doctor which is jus nearby....
After doctor, went to her house there and off we went to Vivo.. Took bus no.100... Wee!! Went to Golden Village there bought a pair of tickets for our movie... Then went round to shoppin and also havin fun of making fun with each other... Bought a DVD at TS shop while BOYFRIEND bought 2 movies...
Went back for movie at 2pm... Bought our meal for movie... Into the cinema... Love watchin movie with BOYFRIEND... Really not fully cocncentrated on the movie because both of us were busy talkin and havin fun of huggin each other... Hahazz... Hope nobody will notice us what we had done in the cinema... Hee heez...
After movie, I was really blur like hell in the dark of the cinema... I missed the EXIT door... My BOYFRIEND made fun of me when I jus walked pass the EXIT wihout seeing... We made a lot of noises when we were out of the cinema... HUGGED BOYFRIEND a lot of times when we were down on the lift... BOYFRIEND being so naughty that keep on makin me to fall down... Luckily, I never fall...
Went to SUPER DOG to have our lunch plus dinner... Lolzz... Then realise that all the topic we talked are mostly R21 topic... Hahazz.. Love talkin that topic with BOYFRIEND... After meal, BOYFRIEND accompany me to Lot 1 for work... So good of her... And off BOYFRIEND went back home...
HOWEVER, we still not end meetin each other... After work, BOYFRIEND came over my house to stay one night... WEEE~~ Say real I almost never sleep the whole night... Busy playin with BOYFRIEND on the bed... Hahazz... Love playin with her... The next morning (TODAY) woke up together at 7 plus... Went to work by cab while BOYFRIEND took cab back home...
Really lookin forward that we will have another day like this... Hahazz... Lookin forward for July too... Because will be book a 3 days 2 nights room at the HOTEL 81 jus the 2 of us... No one will come and disturb... Wee~~ LOVE BOYFRIEND FOREVER...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠6:50 PM
Friday, May 16, 2008 ❤
16th of May... Gosh... This is the 500th post for my blog... Goin to have 1000 post... Hahazz... Damn relax when never go to school... Yup Today never go to school again... Woke up in the morning but dunno why fell asleep again... Whatever..
Mmm... So slept till 2 plus in the afternoon... Finally got all my energy back... Fully charged.. Told my mother I am quittin school really soon.. My mother said that if I got a higher pay job then I can quit... Gosh that was good... Yay...
And was surprised that Farah, from friend since Year 1 in Sem 1, msn me that why I hate RP... Lolz.. We got the same reason.. STUDY time simply too LONG... She last week pon-ed the whole week... OMG.. I also wish to pon that much too... Maybe I might start to pon almost twice a week... So that I will not affect a little on my grade... And also I will not start to do that PP...
Now my plan was earn as much money from POLAR then order some stocks from oversea and open my own business... I know that I might not able to earn much but I will give it a try no matter what... So people if I have successfully open the business, DO COME and SUPPORT ME..!! Hahazz...
Tomorrow will not goin to school... Morning shall have my breakfast at Jurong East entertainment then went to Ghim Moh to find BOYFRIEND to accompany her for doctor... Then next shall have movie together at Vivo... Or other places... Coolz... I love tomorrow... BOYFRIEND I MISS HER...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:03 AM
Thursday, May 15, 2008 ❤
15th of May.. Really had time with BOYFRIEND.. School ended early.. I love it... 3.10pm Faci let us go off... So I went off at about 3.15pm... Went to Woodland station... Supposed wan to go Lot 1 to see BOYFRIEND workin...
BOYFRIEND replied me that she was still at home and maybe will go to work at later time... So I went to take train to Jurong East station and took bus no. 98 to BLK492 there to collect my package... Wee!! So happy to receive my new clothes...
Next went to Lot 1, Choa Chu Kang because meetin BOYFRIEND for dinner... Reached the Lot 1 at about 5 plus... Waited for a while and went up to Level 4 Food Junction there to wait for BOYFRIEND...
BOYFRIEND met me at 6 plus and had dinner together... Then BOYFRIEND said that she dun wan to go back to work... Because she was down with fever... I told BOYFRIEND dun go work... Then BOYFRIEND decided not to go work... I told her to accompany me for a movie... She was ok because she also cannot go home so early...
So we took train and went to Jurong East entertainment there... Bought the movie tickets and off to the library to watch some videos in my laptop... Waited till 8 plus, went back to Jurong East entertainment... Bought our own drinks...
Watched that movie SPEED RACER... Found out that the movie was far too much of future things... In the startin, we will tryin to understand the story but still dun really understand... The movie was a little dragy.. Man this movie is about 2 hours.. I really bored like hell when I was watchin that movie... I only know from that movie was to RACE RACE & RACE... Haiz.. Should have watched the HORROR movie instead of this SPEED RACER...
After movie, BOYFRIEND and I went back home straight... BOYFRIEND sent me home... Love her so much... Finally BOYFRIEND auto hug me in my house lift... Lolz... Love her huggin... BOYFRIEND said that she might be comin to my house to stay overnight tonight... Dunno is true ma..?? Really look forward for her...
If yes, the next day FRIDAY... I will might wan to have BOYFRIEND with breakfast together then accompany BOYFRIEND to a clinic near her house to do blood test... Lookin forward for tomorrow and FRIDAY... Wee~~
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:11 AM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 ❤
14th of May.. ENOUGH.. It is really gonna too much... Tryin hard to communicate but yet people seem to reject me most of the time... Argh... I really dun wan to be with them anymore... Why am I always face this problem in Year 2..??
Last sem, I really did try hard to communicate with other people and I am happy that they accepted me but this time is really a NO at all... Due I really got try my best to talk to them but some of the faces gave me was like -.-... I feel like so cold when I talked to them... That why in future, I jus ZIP UP my mouth, so that I dun feel COLD from them.. Whoever wish to talk to me jus come to talk to me... And I will welcome to talk to you all back...
Mmm... Due me and BOYFRIEND did not really meet much but I really hope that we still can remain as the same as lovin as last time... Yesterday BOYFRIEND called my handphone for a little chat when I wan to go to bath...
I am really happy BOYFRIEND called me for a little chat though we never chat quite long... We only chatted for about 40 plus minutes... BOYFRIEND did not go to work again... Because her chest is in really great pain... Really made me worry for her like hell and yet she said that she dun believe that I worry for her... I PROMISE all I said are TRUE.. I do worry about her damn LOT LOT.. Really hope to see her really soon.. I DO MISS HER A LOT...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:18 AM
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 ❤
13th of May... I think I am really tired until like hell... Really lack of sleep since last week... I can say more than 3 days... I really wan to sleep... Zzzz....
Mmm... Have being busy workin almost everyday... Because work there really short of staffs... Nowadays, morning to afternoon is schoolin and evening to night is workin... Whatever... Jus feel like quittin school... Because I hate presentating...
Today was SUPER tired to be in school... So I left the school during 2nd break... Took bus no. 925 to Choa Chu Kang first... Because I like to take bus... One reason to kill all my free time and Second reason is to enjoy the view outside... Hahazz...
After 1 hour like that, reached Choa Chu Kang... Went into Lot 1 for a little walk then took MRT to Jurong East station... Went to Poh Kim to buy a Japan movie... Bought the movie that Ai Otsuka acted one... Then had lunch alone at Level 2 Food Court there... Sms-ed with BOYFRIEND..
Next went to Jurong East library... Had my laptop set up and went online to search for more songs... And also help BOYFRIEND to download some songs... Stayed there for at least more than 2 hours... Then at about 4 plus went back to Jurong East station.. Took Bus no. 334 back home... On the way back, I fell asleep... I almost missed my bus stop... Lolzz... Luckily I woke up in time...
BOYFRIEND had not been workin for 2 days because of her chest pain is gettin more and more serious... I somehow also have no more mood to stay in school and hope to see her as I am damn worry about her.. I wish to see her but she do not wan me to come and see her... ARGH... MAKE ME SO WORRY LIKE HELL... Hope that BOYFRIEND get faster recover... I LOVE HER!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:04 AM
Sunday, May 11, 2008 ❤
11th of May... Yay today is MOTHERS' Day already... Never really bought present for my mother because I jus dun feel like buyin for her... Ya I am a BAD girl... Hee heezz...
So yesterday I worked from morning to night until closing... Really had lot of fun with those aunties friends... They are jus simply cute and funny... Love them... However, I somehow dun like a bit of one of the staffs... Because she is simply bias... Always like to like get near those people who are higher rank only..
After work.., went to IMM giant with 'BOYFRIEND' to get present for the staffs... Hahazz... I bought so quite a lot of chocolates for those aunties... I bought for 2 outlets... Jurong Point and Lot 1... Jurong Point I bought all the same but for Lot 1 I seem to be bias.. Those who treated me well I bought them quite expensive chocolates... Hahazz... Evil me... I spent those chocolate cost me about 70 plus.. I was like O.o.. But it is ok to me...
After gettin all those Chocolate, went to take cab home... We set different cab back home... Actually I really dunno what is our relationship now..?? Are we BEST friends, stead, or jus strangers?? I am really confuse... You dun even seem to give me a clear answer at all... How will I know what you are thinkin of...???
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:08 AM
Thursday, May 08, 2008 ❤
8th of May... I dunno is a good day for me or a bad day for me...?? Yesterday quarrelled badly with 'BOYFRIEND'.. She kept mention break to me but in the end, I asked her that is she seriously wan to break with me... Yet her reply made me heart pain... Because her reply was got other boy wan woo me then accept him... Why can't she jus believe in me?? I have promised her in the past that I will not fall in love with other guys anymore... NO MORE IN FUTURE.. Because in my heart, she is the only one who I wish to stay by her side until I old..
Now I am tellin her all the things that I feel for her from my heart... I really dunno how she will feel... Will she feel touch by my words?? Or she will simply dun care about me at all..?? Everyday see her working so LONG hours, my heart will pain wan... I dun wan her to become my grandparents like that... Worked until so tired and DIED without seeing me being borned to this world...
Jus hope that tomorrow shall be another better day... Tomorrow will be seein BOYFRIEND during work... And I dunno how she will treat me.. Anyway, she will not workin with me... BETTER for her..
Hope tomorrow everything will be FINE... I dun wish to quarrel with BOYFRIEND again.. And I am tired of quarrelling... I jus wan to be peace with BOYFRIEND...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:15 PM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008 ❤
7th of May... I think I am seriously havin this DEPRESSION... Reasons are simple... Firstly, I cried heavily without no reason when people came to talk to me about my problems.. Secondly, I am unable to keep myself happy, and this cause me cannot talk easily... But with all the jokes around, I still cannot laugh like other people...
Today I have been sleeping for 15 hours... If my mother never wake me up, I might continue to sleep somemore... Maybe one day or longer that I do not know... I really wish that I can never wake up and jus die in my dream..
I think I have become a person who I dunno who I am... I really can't stand my attitude at all... Seriously I need a LONG BREAK... Lookin forward for my HOLIDAY...
Maybe I shall not update my blog for a week... See how first... Anyway, I wan to add something is that THANK for all those people around me for concerning about me... I am happy to have all you guys to be my friends, my facilitators, my advisor, my gans... LOVE YOU ALL... I promise I will be back as what I am in the past... I seriously need a break...!! BYE guys...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:51 PM
Tuesday, May 06, 2008 ❤
Damn gosh... It isalready 6th of May... Still got left 2 more days to submit my PP... Due to I changed the topic of my PP, and now my advisor never wan to approval my PP and wan to meet me instead... Because she wan to know why I am not doin the topic not related to my course... Anyway, I can tell you guy that I really had no idea what is NEW MEDIA about... Whatever... I dun wish to think too much...
Yesterday work was quite fun... Had a lot of fun workin with BOYFRIEND... But sad that BOYFRIEND did not send me home because she went off early as she needed to go and see doctor because of FEVER... I jus wish that I can take care of her... I am really worry about her everyday, every hour, every minute or even every seconds...
Why am I so worry about her?? Because she sometimes work until forget to eat medinice and somemore her back is in really pain yet carried damn heavy stuffs... And even I know that her health is not very good... She always overwork herself and yet not enough of sleep... Argh... Make me so heart pain to see her like that...
Seriously., I need to drink some alcohol to make my stress from my school to Disappear... I have been commented in the RJ to my facilitatiors that I have been feelin stress... And yet I got back their answer is that they are willin to help me... Whenever I got problem or trouble, I can feel free to tell them through email or personerally... Almost all the facilitators do care about me... Only one or two seem dun bother... Anyway, is ok to me... I really dun need people to care for me because I only wan my BOYFRIEND to care for me that all..!!
Today shall be another boring day of school... Hate of goin to school... But I have no choice have to FORCE myself to go... Mmm... No work today... Plannin to go Orchard alone to buy something... BOYFRIEND will be stayin at home to rest and will not be meetin me... Anyway., BOYFRIEND get well soon... I LOVE BOYFRIEND...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:18 AM
Monday, May 05, 2008 ❤
5th of May... Really kinda of feeling stress from the PP project... This PP project makes me feel like wan to quittin school... People might think that I am avoidin from the project... But seriously I noe nothin about media... Haiz... Jus feelin regret of joinin this school and choosin a media course... I should join the business course...
Mmm... Still left with a few days to submit that BLOODLY PP project... I am so kinda of STRESS.. Argh...
Yesterday worked with BOYFRIEND... Saw BOYFRIEND so tired I very heart pain... Because BOYFRIEND had been workin more than 13 hours in 24 hours of a day... I really hope that I can help her... I dun wan to see her so tired... Everyday not enough to sleep and have to face other staffs unfairness to her..
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:57 AM
Saturday, May 03, 2008 ❤
3rd of May... What I being done for the whole day is that WORKIN... I went to work early by 1 hour plus... Woke up at 6 plus, out of my door by 7am... Reached my workplace at about 7.50am... Damn BOYFRIEND was late again...
So I dun wait for her... I jus type my user in... And be cashier of the day... BOYFRIEND reached about 8.30am... Today I really have fun with workin with BOYFRIEND.. I LOVE HER so so much...
Did not go for lunch or dinner... Because I dun feel so hungry at all.... So continued to work until night at about 10.35pm... After work, went to the coffee shop near Jurong East Entertainment centre with my BOYFRIEND to have meal...
Ate the same food again... Hahazz... After that, BOYFRIEND sent me home... When we were in the bus, we were talkin quite loud... Because we were playin with each other at the back of the bus.... WEE~~
Really can't bear to leave BOYFRIEND... HUGGED her in the lift and also the path to my house... I love hugging her... It really make me so comfortable and I can forget all my stresses away...
SORRY BOYFRIEND that I might mistaken about BOYFRIEND sometimes.. BOYFRIEND please dun overwork because you are not a ROBOT... Hope that your pain at your body can faster recover... See you everyday like that I really really very heart pain... Take care of yourself... I LOVE YOU!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:55 PM
Friday, May 02, 2008 ❤
What happen to BOYFRIEND.?? She had not being reply me since yesterday night that she sent me home... Really dunno what she thinkin now...
Some period can treat me so good then some period can treat me so coldly.. Jus that when we are together, we will very very CLOSE...
What BOYFRIEND really wan?? I really will give her whatever she wan... I will no longer STOP her anymore... I only can say that I LOVE HER and never wan to change my heart to love anyone anymore...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠3:27 PM
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2nd of May... Life has been so unfair to me... I dunno what I have done far that made my life so UNHAPPY... I have no more happiness in my life... I hate my life now... No one really do come forward to care for me... That why I have been feelin tired to talk to people around me...
I think people are sayin RIGHT... I already had given up all the things... I really lazy to hold things too tightly... I had given everyone a bad impression of me...
I think my DEPRESSION illness is back again... This time I feel that it is more serious than last time that I have it on my age of 14 years old... But lucky that I never think of die... From this illness, I no longer like to talk again and dun like to smile to people... Because in my heart, I feel that this world is damn SCARY and DARK... No one is willin to lend me a hand to walk out of the darkness...
About LOVE.., I think there really got a problem.. I tryin hard to hold on... I jus dunno why a sudden BOYFRIEND like mad at me... I really dunno what I had done... I that time SMS her to cool her down and then she suddenly mad at me... Can I still TRUST her?? What she treatin me as??
I am really very tired to think of... I am tired of cryin too... I am really really TIRED of life... Can I still continue my journey?? Or shall I jus give up and leave the world...?? If I leave the world, will there people cry for me...??
I really dun wan to think too much... Jus ignore eveything around me and concentrate on the things that I wan to do and fulfill... THAT ALL!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠9:35 AM
Thursday, May 01, 2008 ❤
1st of May... What really happen?? In work, there is damn serious case happen... My BOYFRIEND kena bully by one of the other staffs... Can't she jus talk properly with my BOYFRIEND..?? Why must she throw cloth at my BOYFRIEND and made my BOYFRIEND so no face..?? She damn FUCKIN no respect to other people...
ENOUGH man... If I am in the outlet, I will not care so much... I will jus scolded her bad as loud as I can so that the whole Lot 1 will noe... That will be better... And I will not be violence...
Really feel so heart pain to see a injuries at BOYFRIEND's hand there.... BOYFRIEND no matter what happen please be STRONG... I am always at her side to support her... I really hate those aunties bully my BOYFRIEND...
Yesterday went to work quite early... Somehow I also have no mood to work as I am quite stress about my PP project... I thinkin of changin my topic... I dun wan to do media thing....
About 11 plus at night After work, went to the coffeeshop near Entertainment centre there to have dinner with BOYFRIEND.. Talked a lot of things with BOYFRIEND... I can feel that she is very very very tired... I felt so heart pain...
BOYFRIEND no matter what happen, please tell me and be STRONG... I really dun wan BOYFRIEND to be so kept alone... And angry without tellin me... I LOVE YOU!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:59 AM
