Tuesday, January 22, 2008 ❤
22th of January... Time really flyin fast... Goin February soon.. I am totally not in very good mood yesterday... Jus dunno why... Maybe facin too much of problems from many people and places....
First problem is that my love life... I know I am a silly girl... Because although my ex have really rejected my request of patchin back.. But I feelin that I might not forgivin up so easy... As I love her damn much... I know that she is not good to me but jus dunno why I still love her damn much... And now I am tryin damn hard to FORGET about the feelin toward her...
Second problem is that my family problem... I really have difficult to communicate well with them... Everytime have to quarrel over a small matter... And I am damn TIRED to be in the house... And I jus dun wan to see them when I reach home... Therefore, I often treat my home as a hotel...
Third problem is about my school daily grade... I really feel that my english is damn SUX... I feel so outcast when I am in a group... Because my thinkin is damn slow and I also cannot give a really good idea to my team... I jus feel so disappointed to myself... That why I always pon when I am really too quiet toward my team...
Forth is my friendship problem... Dunno must blame myself or not... Because when I never talk to them too long or show some unhappy face to them.., they might not come forward to me to talk to me... I simply dunno why... I show unhappy face jus because I am damn unhappy with my personal things and I really need someone who can able to cheer me up...
Actually., to maintain a friendship with people in Republic poly is damn difficult because they can easily outcast me... As my character is damn WIRED toward others... That why I am damn TIRED to hold on the friendship... I will rather GIVE UP so that there will less problems to face...
Fifth is that work... Work really contribute quite much of stress to my life... Because I have to in charge of the cashier sometimes... I cannot give wrong change money to my customers... I know that some customers are really dishonest... When give extra money, they really dun give back... They jus took the change and walked away... When we call EXCUSE ME quite loud, they walked damn FASTLY as they could... DISHONEST PEOPLE...
Somemore, when really short of staffs... I have to work in weekday too after school... And when holiday come, I have to work 6 days in a week and maybe for special festival, I have to work more than 10 hours... It is really damn TIRING... Somemore, I have to face all different types of bad attitudes of the customers... I have to force myself to smile and say SORRY if I have done wrong thing.. The customers jus scold us right in front of our faces...
Yesterday, I really cannot take my stresses... That why when my godsister called me what happened and tryin to give me advices... I cannot hold back my tears... I cry right in front of my class... This is the SECOND time I have done... I jus cannot accept the fact that the people around me are COLD-BLOODED... Never actually concern my feelin... At least, my buddy set beside me asked me wat happened...
I quickly walked to the toilet alone and wrapped my tears... I told myself that I must be STRONG and must smile to others no matter how stressful or how much problems that I must faced... Actually, I am glad that Kaye asked me why am I sad... At least, I know that someone did concern their friends... Thank KAYE... I dun wan to let people know that I am sad that why I kept shakin my head said NO mean I am alright...
Jus hope that I can faster get rid of these PROBLEMS soon... Still really lookin someone who can really brighten up my life... I really hope that he will appear before my birthday or before Valentime day... IF POSSIBLE...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:12 AM
