Sunday, October 19, 2008 ❤
19th of October.. 2 more entries to 600 entries in this Blog... Mmm... I feel that my life is so meaningless... Feel that no more FUTURE...
Mmm... Think that my brain this period like very difficult to think and what to type in this blog... Because not much things happen everyday...
Suppose plan to type about my anger... But think back and realise that why should I waste my time on angry with her and make my body more unhealthy... Angry does make body unhealthy... As usual like what I always say, "大人不记小人过" or either "退一步就会海过天空"...
What I am doin... Now listening to some random songs in my iTunes.. Jus listen to some sad songs... I do have the feelin of crying... Jus dunno why... Feeling that I am tired of everything... I maybe selfish... Wish to end my life but think back there are still some other interesting things might be happen in the world in future in my life... I dun wan to miss it...
I do wish that BOYFRIEND can give me a hug to cheer me up... I do need this hug to continue my journey... As this hug does play very important part to me... It is a form of support and courage me to work hard in everything I do now...
I wonder what BOYFRIEND always do when she is at home... I miss her so so much yet I can't feel her at all.. It seem that person is too near and heart so far till I can't really reach it... I also do feel tired to hide the relationship from others.. If really one day, someone ask her "Do you have a girlfriend?" How will she answer.. Do you know that I am afraid to listen to that answer... Because if an answer "NO" really hurt my heart so bad into hell like that...
I also feel that lot of people do not really happy that if we are together... Specially people in work... They jus seem not happy... Once I get too near to her., the words from the people mouth do HURT me a lot.. I have heard some and my heart do feel so like TEARED already... And now I tryin really hard to be STRONG and make BOYFRIEND dun being influence by them or whatever..
I maybe be always happy outside but inside my heart is not really happy... I often cry alone when I was alone... And I do love to emo a lot... Thinkin lot of things what had happen in the past... And also think that is it a RIGHT or a BAD thing to me...
I FEEL SO EVIL AND ANGEL at the same time... I wish that I can know what thing actually I wan... I really confuse in my life... I do need someone to lead my way... BABY I hope that you are the one who understand me and try to make me know what is RIGHT AND what is WRONG... And also you are the one who is leadin me the way throughout this tough journey... BABY I do need you badly... HOLD me tight and please never let go of me!!
I LOVE YOU BABY!!
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:30 AM
