Sunday, October 26, 2008 ❤
26th of October... My heart is bleedin again and again... SERIOUSLY... Sometimes I cry automatic without controllin when I was alone... I jus dunno why... Thinkin about how BOYFRIEND treat me now is seriously way too much of hurt to me... I am really seriously injuried... And still findin way to heal the injuries... I know this entry is TOO HARSH for my BOYFRIEND... And I also know that she will angry with me after readin this entry...
But I am jus sayin the truth out and anyway, this is my blog and I do have the RIGHT to say... Only this place can let out of my saddness, anger, happiness or others... I wish that every passerby-s can read my stories and I am tired to hide everything right inside my heart... The more I hide the more my heart hurt...
I miss how BOYFRIEND treated me in the past because only the past she made me feel that how importance she is in my heart... She made my day bright and happiness every single days... She care for me and whenever I need her I jus give her a call, and say out all my unhappiness... And she will keep listenin on me and cheer me up... Although she did not success but I know she did her best already...
She even tried to find time to accompany me from her busy and tight scheme... That why I love her so so much and unwilling to let go of her...
But now... I wonder why I still love her so so much... I love the BOYFRIEND's spirit already passed away... No longer in this world like that... This is how I feel nowaday... I know I say everything is no longer important to her le...
Now her another friend is most important in her life ever... Because she had give her the BEST OF THE BEST yet I can't.. Her best friend is an aunty... At this point, I LOST everything including LOVE... Because of the aunty's influence to her, BOYFRIEND did all the things whatever the aunty need her... I feel that BOYFRIEND is a PUPPET of being control by her...
I hate the aunty because in the past, she say me BAD THINGs right behind me to my BOYFRIEND... That what I say is INFLUENCE... And tryin to BREAK us up... BITCHES who try to break couple up will not have a good endin in their lifes... YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW... They will get their own punishment...
At this point, I feel so useless toward BOYFRIEND... I try damn hard to love my BOYFRIEND and keep the relationship goin... But I can't see BOYFRIEND doin it... I really feel so STRESSFUL... I even keep thinkin everyday how to make my BOYFRIEND being love by me more...
I try to date her out but in the end, I got rejected EVERYTIME... At the sudden, I feel so noob in the love... Last time, I dun have this problems... I hope someone can help me in this relationship...
I try not to be STUBBORN and be more understandin but in the end I still FAIL... I cry almost every single night because I am not the one that my BOYFRIEND wish to have FOREVER...
I try to SMS her almost everyday... Hope that she will talk to me more but I think I was WRONG... I feel so lonely and unlove...
Maybe I still love my BOYFRIEND jus because of her look, still look like the one in the past... I think I have being push out of her heart... Because she no longer say to me the THREE special words which means a lot to me...
My handphone had been damn fuckin quiet every single day... No more regular messages from her... NO MORE!! At a sudden, I feel that handphone is the useless item to me... Because I dun use it everyday...
How I wish the the old BOYFRIEND's spirit can be back again... I miss her so so much... I dun wan to lose her... I wan to take care of her FOREVER.. I wish to love her again like in the past... I wish that she can treat me like how she streated me in the past... WHERE HAVE HER OLD SPRIRIT GONE??? When the old spirit be back again...???
BOYFRIEND all I wan to say I do LOVE YOU way out of my limit... I dun care what people say.. I jus wan to be with you THAT ALL... I dun wan anyone to brain wash you!! I hate those people brain wash you...
Counting down to our 8th month Anniversary ❤ 13 days
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠11:49 PM
