Wednesday, November 26, 2008 ❤
26th of November... I hurt myself again... HOW SILLY I AM... I hate myself why do I always being so such a failure to be BOYFRIEND's girlfriend... Why when BOYFRIEND sick, I am not the FIRST to being know?? Why do BOYFRIEND always keep a lot of things against me..??
I will not show my injuries at here... Because one of the lines is quite deep... And now is quite painful... BOYFRIEND did not have any feeling when she saw this... She even never help me to like put on plaster... She jus treat that nothing happen... That is what I hurt the most of all... Why do she change so much..??
Last time when I am hurt, she even help me to put on a plaster... How sweet of her in the past... She do whatever things does melt my heart in the past... Even I love to look at her serious look when she was working...
BUT NOW, she never ever do anything that melt my heart... Even her serious look at work no longer really nice looking... I can notice something that when BOYFRIEND work with other people, I can see the happiness and really high... Like talking so loudly without stress like that... But working with someone that made me mad a lot, BOYFRIEND looked TIRED and do a bit stress... And the main thing that her talking also quite soft like an ants...
I wonder is it BOYFRIEND saying is RIGHT... Do I really think too much..?? Then why do I always feel that I am so unlove..?? Everytime BOYFRIEND never sms me... When working with me jus the 2 of us, then she will bother to treat me as GIRLFRIEND?? In other time, she never even care to reply my messages...
I am jus worry again that BOYFRIEND outside might fall in love with other female as she did it before long ago... I am jus scared...
I am now waiting for BOYFRIEND's SMS... I even dun wan to sleep early... Everyday every night wait till 1 to 2 plus in the midnight then sleep... But in the end.., she did not sms me any GOOD NIGHT messages or messages that what couples always SMS...
I really run out of my mind.. What can I do so that BOYFRIEND can be like the last time BOYFRIEND..?? Do she still love me like usual in the past..?? Now what do she treat me as?? Why am I always left unknown about her..?? Why she always show her true colour to me and making me hurt always whenever I jus made a little tiny small mistake..??
BABY I really have been working hard for the future... I even try to let you in always... I never ever always make you say SORRY in the quarrel... I always BLAME MYSELF that why do I always quarrel with you... I even try to change my FUCKING jealousy attitude...
I even dun mind you scold me to release your anger... But I HATE IT when you scold me right in front of so many people... I HATE IT...
Do you ever remember that I AM YOUR GIRL?? Who also need to being LOVE AND CARE??
BABY I already given you my EVERYTHING... And now you treat me like that, do make me feel so CHEAP to you..?? Like those chicks on the street waiting for people to have fun... What can I do so that BABY you will treat me like in the past???
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠10:31 PM
