Thursday, December 25, 2008 ❤
25th of December... MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the people... I dun feel like today is CHRISTMAS at all... Like jus a normal day like that... Looking lot of people preparing to go for Christmas party or whatever... I never feel so admire...
I really dunno when I will have a chance to celebrate my very FIRST own Christmas... Haiz.. I do always hope that I can celebrate my Christmas with my LOVE one (SPECIAL one)... Looking for next year... Really do... Because my birthday is really coming soon... In less than 50 days.. I guess so... O.o... So happy...
And also Valentime day is also coming soon... If BOYFRIEND and me can really continue our relationship.., this year I might going to have my VERY FIRST Valentime day with my BOYFRIEND... I never ever have a stead that can really celebrate with me Valentime day...
I really dunno will BOYFRIEND will give me any surprises on that day like all the couples on the street... SO SWEET... Yet my BOYFRIEND dunno what is sweet or romantic now this period... Last time she really romantic and sweet to me.. Because she willing to give up your busy stuffs and spent her time with me.. That why I love her that very much in the past..
But now, I dun even hope to look forward about anything on her... Everytime make me hurt and disappointed... Said wan to meet me but in the end said another day... Then when that day come she made another excuses... Actually in my heart, I feel so much excited to meet her and keep looking at the time hoping that time can past faster so that I can meet her... But to her, I dun think she had this kinda of feeling...
I wonder why do BOYFRIEND always give me so confuse in her... And always like take me for granted... Somehow I do feel like I am jus a PART-TIME Girlfriend to her... NOT a FOREVER wifey to her.. I kinda of sad right now... Worrying everyday about that she might change her heart or regret to love her in future... Because I have been giving her chances again and again... And if she never reject the chance, my love for her might be DEEPER and DEEPER...
That mean if one day she dun LOVE me., I might dunno what I will done to myself or to her... I jus scared I might lost my ownself...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:44 AM
