Tuesday, January 20, 2009 ❤
20th of January... 700th posts... My left elbow is in really pain... Now I even have a bit problem to blend it or either lift up and down... Think I will find something to apply it.. I accidently knock my elbow into some hard wall... Damn.. This isn't my FIRST time... I am always so careless...
Yesterday wasn't my day at all... Day was not really soon at all... Yesterday night had a quite HORROR dream yet I dun feel scared at all... I dunno why... It happened right in front of my eyes... And I dun feel anything at all...
I remember clearly this dream... The weather was very bad... Raining heavily like hell... I was jus at the LIVING room... Suddenly, I heard a lot of people were like making a lot of noises.. So I walked into my kitchen to see what happening... Half way toward my window, I heard a "PONG" on the first storey.. This sound was damn loud..
Walked toward the window then saw this teenager girl was lie-ing on the floor with her eyes opened big big... Then next another guy also a teenager drop right in front of me... Luckily that he still survive a bit because he landed on the soft soft thing on a truck but he is in seriously injuried...
Next, I ran out of my house... Trying to rush to the first storey jus to save him... The staircase was seriously being blocked by a lot of bicycles... And really cannot made my way down so easily... But in the end, I am not in time... He died...
Heard from the neighbors saying that these few teenagers had been locked in the house by a person and that person set the fire in the house... Total there were 7 teenagers... They tried to escaped from the fire by jumping out of the windows... But in the end., they end their life by jus jumping out of that windows...
Seriously, I dun like to see people die right in front of me... I really hope that there is always a GOOD and HAPPY ending... Everyday see people die does make me feel so sad... And also being let me emo in real life always... Anyway, it is jus a dream afterall.. I hope that dreams do always end with a HAPPY things...
I admit myself.. I totally break down... I am no longer that happy person... I feel so stress and tired in life... I wish that BOYFRIEND can really care for me a lot whenever I need her... I tried to tell her my every problems... But she keep telling me dun think too much... That is the thing that I dun wish to hear... How I wish that she can say something that can make me feel calm... Something that can make me feel love by her alot..
This few days I dunno what had happen to me... I keep forget what I am doing.. Or can say that I dun even know what I am doing... I feel like scolding myself... I cry almost everyday to make myself understand my mistake..
Now I really scared to make new friends... I scared people knowing my things too much... I dunno what I scared of... I dun understand why...
I am all alone.. Trying to be STRONG... But I am tired... I hope that time can pause... I do need somemore rest... A LONG LONG REST... I wan to be a person who is not me at all...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:52 AM
