Monday, August 16, 2010 ❤
15th of Aug... What a bad Sunday for me... Totally break down for a certain hours... I totally worry of almost everything... Worry about study whether that I can catch up, exam results, work (some people dun wan to co-operate with me), boyfriend and our future, stresses from parents... I totally can't have a peaceful weekend in my life... Haiz... Why my life is full of worries and stresses...?? Why I can't like my other friends can easily happy-go-lucky and can so easily go on travel.?? Not worrying money not enough..??
Anyway, I have been on debts too... Though I do have to pay every month a limit.. But I dun feel great either... I hate to be in under debts...
I kept on blame myself when something went wrong... I totally break into tears right in my heart.. Even if I cry out, I pretend nothing happen right in front of the people... Because I know most of the humans are selfish... Even do my family... I did cry out in ront of them.. Yet they do not know what happen to me, thought that I just always not happy.. Keep complaining to me that at my age of 21, I should be like jumping around and happy-go-lucky... I not belong to that type... I am a person who have lot of problems in my heart and also did walked past through all the hurt, pain and betray steps...
There is too much too much of pain, hurt and betray I have gone through.. But my parents did not really know deep into it... I dun dare to tell them either because even if I told them, the next period they will forget, they do not really concern about me yet is nagging at me... I dun love to hear the nagging session... All I wan is LOVE & Care like my friends given me...
I know I am a person who is real hard to communicate with... I only have friends that can counted using 2 hands... I am hard to get along too... I dunno why... Maybe I am born to be alien... People seem to stay far away from me... But I am glad that some friends never dumped me aside after a period...
Anyway, I wish to have a new start when I start my new job in next year... I wish that I can completely change myself... Hope that I really can do it... I know I afraid to step into stranger world but I have to do it...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠12:12 AM
