Wednesday, November 17, 2010 ❤
17th of Nov... Is about 6 days after breaking off with boyfriend... Hurt is only heal a little not much... Is sad that this "Boyfriend" did not bother about me anymore once broke off.. Even a concern also did not wan to give... I really feel that I have chosen the wrong person to be my boyfriend... I hate myself for repeating the mistakes again and again..
2 days ago, I cut my hand with pen knife.. I know is silly to do that... But when I try to find someone to talk with... Everyone was kinda of busy with their things... I was just sitting all alone... Blame myself again and again... All the fault came from me which will result me to become this way.. Without control, I took out the pen knife to cut myself as for punishment and also made myself to wake up... I did not cut that deep... I am sorry that I did that again since about last year...
But now., the cuts are recovering damn fast.. Just that my left hand did not have much strength to carry heavy stuffs... Guess it really affect my left hand... About 1 more week, the cut will be fully recover...
Anyway, I shall thank to all my friends who really bother for me after I uploaded the photos of my cut on hand... Is realy quite touching that at least I know there are really do people care for me... At first, I do not really think much as before I cut, I wonder how many people will kinda of concern me if I am hurt... Can I say I am lucky to have you all guys not letting me behind??
This few days I have been going out with some friends... I enjoyed the time with them... I even try to be active and not to think too much... But whenever I am alone, I do drop my tear without any control... I do need someone who really can come forward to me, putting my head on the person's shoulder and hug me and told me that everything will be fine because you have me by your side... I know this type of suitation will not happen in real life..
I really kinda to start fall in love with Single life... However, I can enjoy the life of being woo by guys sometimes though they have no action... If they have action showing me, I might really feel happy.. Guys who love me, is a MUST to accept who I am... I do not easily change unless there is a reason...
Anyway, I shall look forward to the life that I will be having in future... I will not really bother about the past or even care about it... Thank everyone for the concern... I really LOVE YOU all guys...
☠❤Dead Jas❤☠1:56 AM
